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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect a photo from sports day to not be on FB

86 replies

KatKit16 · 13/07/2018 13:46

Sooo....today was DD first sports day. I have just returned and had a quick nosy on FB and a fellow Mum from DD years group has posted a photo of her child along with pretty much the rest of the class in (including my DD). AIBU to expect her to seek permission before posting ?
Part of me feels petty if I was to ask her remove it or at least the bit with my DD in and the other part of me is annoyed that I haven’t consented. I wouldn’t post pictures of other people’s children unless I had agreement. Thoughts please anyone....

OP posts:
donutsarelife · 13/07/2018 18:19

@SugarIsAmazing in our case my daughter is adopted but for various reasons she was adopted into the same area she was born. Her birth parents know her name and how old she is, it wouldn't be hard to look through people's public posts if they really wanted to find her, that is not an option, they need to be safe and settled. There is so much bias towards birth parents in the system as it is

Bubblysqueak · 13/07/2018 18:29

This could be a huge safeguarding risk, why don't some people understand that some children should never be on FB for their own safety!

TornFromTheInside · 13/07/2018 18:35

Some adults shouldn't be on it!

LML83 · 13/07/2018 18:46

I wouldn't post a picture of other children on facebook as I am aware some people don't like it.

I wouldn't be annoyed if someone posted a pic of my child though.

TornFromTheInside · 13/07/2018 19:37

*Data protection laws. Theres a big section in storage distripution etc of photos of minors. Specifically for minors.

Its clearly aimed more at photographers, schools, sports teams etc. But I ashume the basic principles still apply.

Data protection is slightly differant for minors. Theres a whole section on them.*

I can't find them in the Data Protection Act 2018 (which is largely in response to, and in addition to the GDPR). Yes, there are specific provisions for children, but this is about personally identifying information and consent. Nothing specific about photographs of minors (that I can find). If you know precisely where, that could be really helpful.

tinyme77 · 13/07/2018 22:49

Just curious. What are you worried about? I understand where children are adopted/ in care or where it would cause them embarrassment but if it isn't these what do you feel uncomfortable about?

InDubiousBattle · 13/07/2018 23:30

tiny do you mean people who don't want their dc on social media in general? I don't put my dc on fb because they're too little to decide if they want their photos there. My sisters dc are in their late teens /early twenties now and they have told me how grateful they are that these things didn't exist when they were little. If my dc decide they do want all of their baby pictues on line when they grow up then they can put them there themselves.

TornFromTheInside · 14/07/2018 00:31

Just curious. What are you worried about? I understand where children are adopted/ in care or where it would cause them embarrassment but if it isn't these what do you feel uncomfortable about?

When you put them on social media, you're allowing companies to deduce data about them. 'My gorgeous Sarah's birthday, 4 today!' - you've just told them that the girl in the photo is called Sarah, most likely your daughter, and they now know her date of birth. That's just from one image. Obviously, over time, they can start to deduce countless links about her lover of ballet, which girl guides group she's in, which school etc etc.

After a decade of that info, by the time they leave school, you've already sold their data down the river, albeit inadvertently.

I had this argument with my neice (I had industry knowledge of what was happening) and she couldn't fathom how Facebook and Google etc could really know this information, or how it could be a bad thing anyway. 10 years later, we now have Facebook grovelling on national TV adverts about how they've changed.

If you value your children's privacy, keep them off social media as much as you can. Sadly, it's a bit of a losing battle with almost every device wanting an 'account' these days. But don't give them any more than you have to.

Fatted · 14/07/2018 00:38

Speak to the school and complain.

Our school have a very strict policy about no photos going on social media. I do not want pictures of my children being posted on social media which identify where they go to school because of threats I have received in the past.

Every one else might be happy to share their business on social media, but not everyone is and you should respect that.

MistressDeeCee · 14/07/2018 02:26

YANBU. Some people believe it's their absolute right to put anything they want on FB. You don't have to agree especially when it's you or your family involved. If you don't like it, then you don't. That's it.

I'd ask her to take it down. I can't stand this going on as if FB is essential to life. It isnt. She could have put a solo pic of her child up. If you wanted a pic of your child on FB then presumably you would have done it yourself.

She shouldn't really be putting up photos of school events with other people's children anyway. I wonder what the school would have to say about it.

Or even children - there are already some children and young people saying they don't want their photos on FB. Whether adults will even "hear" their voices in this quest to show off about everything in tedious fashion, is questionable.

mummabubs · 14/07/2018 20:26

Couldn't have said it better myself @MistressDeeCee. I deleted my Facebook account last week for exactly the reasons you describe and already feel better for it. I was at uni when Facebook first came out in 2006 but I feel sorry for people growing up now who will never have known a world without social media.

Again, YANBU OP. I'd ask her to delete it.

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