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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect a photo from sports day to not be on FB

86 replies

KatKit16 · 13/07/2018 13:46

Sooo....today was DD first sports day. I have just returned and had a quick nosy on FB and a fellow Mum from DD years group has posted a photo of her child along with pretty much the rest of the class in (including my DD). AIBU to expect her to seek permission before posting ?
Part of me feels petty if I was to ask her remove it or at least the bit with my DD in and the other part of me is annoyed that I haven’t consented. I wouldn’t post pictures of other people’s children unless I had agreement. Thoughts please anyone....

OP posts:
Melliegrantfirstlady · 13/07/2018 13:47

Yabu because quite honestly it’s all social media now isn’t it. I just can’t be surprised or in shock about it

I’d be annoyed but meh it’s the norm these days

SoupDragon · 13/07/2018 13:50

We were always told that taking photos was fine but we were not to put them on social media.

It wouldn’t bother me but if it bothers you, YANBU. People shouldn’t put photos of other people’s children on social media.

Nicknacky · 13/07/2018 13:51

I really couldn’t get worked up about this. You child will be in the background of many photos on fab.

Barbie222 · 13/07/2018 13:53

No it's not the done thing for lots of reasons, but none of them seem to have occurred to her. Maybe someone needs to have a quiet word with her.

JustJoinedRightNow · 13/07/2018 13:56

It would definitely bother me and I’m always the one to ask people to remove photos that have my DCs in them. You are correct, they must ask permission before they post photos with your children in them.
YANBU

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 13/07/2018 13:56

DDs primary are always reminding parents they're welcome to take photos/videos but but not to upload them to social media if they have other children in. I've just seen a whole year photo on fb though that someone took at the end of the y6 leavers' performance....and she's a teaching assistant at the school!

It's infuriating but I agree with PP that it seems to be the norm these days and I'm not sure what you can do. I don't expect she'll take much notice if you say anything

ILoveMyDressingGown · 13/07/2018 13:57

Tbh I would report it either to the school or to facebook because if the children in the background are identifiable and one of them is vulnerable, for example a child who has been removed from their parents and been placed in local authority care, it could cause all kinds of problems for them.

TeenTimesTwo · 13/07/2018 13:57

YANBU. For all the other Mum knows there could be an adopted child, or a child fleeing DV in the photo.

It is very different when the child is at a school because then it is known where they will be between 9-3 every school day, compared with being in the background in someone's zoo photo.

Contact the Mum and/or the school. School needs to tighten up on notices / information.

(We normally get these thread at Christmas re nativity photos.)

CrohnicallyEarly · 13/07/2018 13:58

You should speak to the school (assuming it was a school sports day). Schools should have policies around parents taking photographs, and they should be able to speak to parents about not posting on social media. It might only be a matter of preference for you, but if there are children in care or similar, posting their picture could potentially put them in danger.

greendale17 · 13/07/2018 13:59

YANBU- I don’t post anything to do with my DS on social media. I would also contact the school

Original poster
KatKit16 · 13/07/2018 14:00

Thank you for your responses. A mixed bunch of thoughts lol but I feel the consensus is that it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask her to remove. Not sure what response I will get but here I go...wish me luck 😀

OP posts:
IDrinkFromTheKegOfGlory · 13/07/2018 14:06

OP if you don't want to have to ask her to remove it yourself, report it to the school. They should have a robust policy about photographs and social media to protect those children whose image mustn't be in the public domain (children in care, etc). I would be very surprised if they didn't speak to the woman concerned and ask her to take it down.
I'm the safeguarding governor at my children's primary school and it is exactly what I would do (and have done).

Duskqueen · 13/07/2018 15:19

YANBU my DD had a special thing at school today as she is leaving next week and we were told that we could take pictures but not to put them on social media. It is a child safeguarding issue, how does she know there isn't a child in that class that is in witness protection or family are hiding from an abusive partner?

Canshopwillshop · 13/07/2018 15:21

YANBU - we get constant reminders from our school about not doing this. There could be safeguarding issues for some children and it’s just not on.

Hersetta427 · 13/07/2018 15:24

Our school implicitly say please take as many photos as you want but please do not post on social media so Yanbu

Mousefunky · 13/07/2018 15:26

YANBU, it’s against most schools policies. I would report the image and also message her to remind her of the schools rules.

pudcat · 13/07/2018 15:30

Please report her to the school. There maybe a child in the photo whose family is in witness protection.

Cachailleacha · 13/07/2018 15:34

YANBU, she could take photos but not put them on social media, or just take a photo of her own child.

Sirzy · 13/07/2018 15:36

So many children can’t be on social media for whatever reason that unless you have consent you shouldn’t post it, especlly something as identifying as a School sports day.

It’s not that hard to blur out faces of everyone else if you want to share the picture!

InDubiousBattle · 13/07/2018 15:37

I would always ask to have pictures of my dc removed. I don't want pictures of them on social media. I would report it to school too. AThe the school my sister teaches at there are several children for whom a photo in uniform could be very dangerous.

SugarIsAmazing · 13/07/2018 15:39

A school can 'say' anything they want but can't enforce anything. The photo belongs to the photographer and are hers to do with as she pleases.

Wellthisunexpected · 13/07/2018 15:43

It probably against school rules, so I'd mention it to the school. It's possible they have kids there where the parents/ guardians haven't consented to photos for very valid reasons, such as being in foster care, fleeing DV, recently adopted or just not wanting photos of their kids all over the place.

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler · 13/07/2018 15:43

Our school banned photos from being taken at plays/ sports day after 1 mum continued to post on social media despite constant reminders not to. Luckily they relaxed it again after a year or so and photos were allowed but we are always told not to post them online if any children are identifiable unless you have permission from the other parents.

TeenTimesTwo · 13/07/2018 15:52

A school can 'say' anything they want but can't enforce anything. The photo belongs to the photographer and are hers to do with as she pleases.

Even with images taken of minors without parental consent on private property?

Even if what you say is true, the logical conclusion of that attitude is likely to be one or more of:
a) individual parents banned from events
b) all photography banned from events
c) events taking place without parents present
d) cancellation of those events
So children and other parents miss out because of the self-centred behaviour of a few.

TornFromTheInside · 13/07/2018 15:56

It's not illegal to post the pictures of other children, but some children are looked after children and their identities / faces shouldn't be put online because it can compromise their safety and help reveal their location.

No permission is needed from other parents though, and strictly speaking a school cannot stop you taking photos if you're beyond their perimeter (even if the children are inside it, but say on a playing field where there is no reasonable expectation of privacy).