Hi all nc for this. There is this guy that I was friends with about 20 years ago and I was in a relationship with him for about 2 years. After we broke up we still remained friends and hung out in a large group. I got to know his parents really well and his mam is a lovely woman who always treated me really well (like a daughter).
We all drifted apart but I would still see him occasionally in the town.
Anyway last year he was charged with possession of images of child sexual abuse. The case is ongoing and I am not really sure of the details of what is alleged. At this time his father was terminally ill and died a few months ago.
I went to the funeral and his mam was naturally in a terrible state. She is a very "harmless" woman, she had a very tough life with her husband, he had many affairs that everyone knew about, had a child with another woman, he used to hit her, he drank heavily he was very financially controlling and she has always struggled. She adored her son, he was her golden child and these allegations have hit her very hard. As you can imagine the past year has been horrendous for her, she lives in a small town and has taken a good deal of abuse about her son.
He still lives with her, he was forced out of his house by his wife and was sleeping in his car. She told me that while she doesn't condone what he did she couldn't lie on her pillow at night knowing he was on the streets. She said that what he did was terrible but she cant abandon him. He is in hiding in her house. She is very lonely, has arthritis and needs help.
I called to her this morning for a cup of tea and all this came out. She is struggling to manage the house, she is very house proud. She needs her windows cleaned and a bit of cleaning done outside the house. Her son wont do it as he doesn't want to be seen outside,
I offered to come tomorrow and do the windows for her. When I called this morning I didn't realise he was still living with her. I had just knocked in to see if I could call back to her in 30 mins. The son was there and knew I was coming back so he left the house and only came back when he knew I was gone. He wont be there tomorrow morning (I don't want to see him and they both arranged for him to leave without me asking).
Anyway here is my dilemma, DH is dead against me getting involved in this. He said I cannot be seen down at the house when I know and others know he is living there. I can see his point but I also see a downtrodden old woman who needs help. I don't want to get into a situation where I am calling down regularly but maybe once every couple of months to check in on her and do a few jobs I know people will talk, they live in a housing estate and everyone knows everyone there so I will be noticed.
She was so happy to me and said she had prayed to her dead husband to send someone to help her and then I arrived at the door.
What would you do?