AIBU not to want to be seen by the same sonographer again?

[mummyclarke1987]

Yesterday I had my 20w pregnancy scan. This is my second pregnancy and it took me a few months to conceive. Partly due to my pcos and partly due to stressing about getting pregnant. My bmi is in the high end currently 37 (size 18) I have not put any weight whatsoever since getting pregnant, however been apple shaped most of my extra weight in around my tummy always making it difficult to see the baby properly when having a ultrasound. However until yesterday no medical practitioner had made me feel bad about myself. They will always bring it up if they have to bad in a polite way.

The lady that perform the scan yesterday was an exception. She was pregnant too. She seemed very displeased and annoyed by the fact that she had to struggle to get good image, kept making faces and at the end she told me in a serious tone "I don't want to upset you but your bmi is a problem". She asked me to go back in the waiting room and have some water, so she can scan someone else and call me again later. I was cooperating perfectly and hoped that the views will be better with a full bladder.

I was called in 15 mins later by who I think was the lead sonographer. The pregnant lady was still in the room typing at the computer with her back turned to me and for the whole time I was there she did not speak to me or turned around to look at me. I was only spoken to my the lead sonographer who was a lot more pleasant and sympathetic. She managed to get some of the measurements but said I had to repeat the scan because it hadn't been possible to get all of them. She said it was a good start and that I did very well. She was very reassuring and professional.

I just think that the fact that the first sonographer was annoyed, then she threw that line at me "I don't want to upset you" as been pregnant and overweight is something I should be really upset about, combined with the fact that she did not turn her back to look at me again or acknowledged my existence, it just makes me not want to have anymore appointments with her. On the other hand she's pregnant too, she has a family and I wouldn't want to seem as if I'm complaining about her, because been a mother and pregnant as well, I'm thinking she might just be having a bad or long day and I wouldn't want to cause her any trouble at her work.

Please can you tell me if you think I'm been unreasonable?

YANBU I had a mare sonographer. 2 actually one with my first and one with the second.
I can’t even remember what it was for with the 1st I jut remember being 36 weeks and wanting to punch her in the face.
The second one had a resting bitch face, didn5 really say much then comes out with, I’m not sure why your here if you live in then you should have gone to * hospital. I just glared her and said ‘ if you did your job properly and read my notes you’d see due to medical issues controlled by doctors in this hospital I am required to come here as ** hospital can’t deal with my health issue’ she shut up didn’t say much else except everything was fine and needless to say when I booked my next one I told the receptionist in no uncertain terms so I want the same Sonographer.
Just request you don’t want another one as you weren’t happy with the service, it usually isn’t a problem, you do get a say 😊

I don't think she was offensive with what she said either OP. I remember the sonographer pulling faces all the way throughout DDs 20 week scan as well, but that was because she was a wriggly thing and it took twice as long to get clear pictures. Perhaps you are reading things that aren't there because of your own sensitivities.

To me situations like this go into the living life overweight is hard category - losing weight is hard - choose you hard. Either way, make your decision and get on with it.

Ignoring whats everyones saying her but i dont think she was rude. She factually told you she couldnt get an image due to your weight and got someone more experienced in. If you get upset by that you are worried about your weight. Re using pcos as an excuse my sil has pcos and a size 10 so it can be done. Im heavier than her and dont have pcos. Hope all was ok with your scan and you have a healthy pregnancy.

Exactly OP good health professionals don’t criticise people at vulnerable times of their life like pregnancy or illness needlessly because of their BMI which may or may not cause a problem .

The sonographer wasn’t rude at all.

I’m a size 10 normally, the sonographers pull all kinds of faces as they concentrate on getting a clear image due to having a tilted uterus... I’d imagine it’s pretty tricky work. They have to press down really hard, I’d imagine it’s harder with a fat person.

So this sonographer was concentrating on getting a good scan for you... couldn’t do it and informed you of the reason factually, then arranged for a more experienced person to try. And you want to make out that this person is not good enough??

No, you need to toughen up a little bit. You’re obese and it sounds like you’re ok with that, but it doesn’t mean everyone has to pussy foot around it.

@MiniCooperLover Not aspire to it no, but equally, not expect someone to fatshame you because the sonographer either has zero tact or is a sanctimonious sod...

My bmi is not a problem but my baby is very awkward and they've had terrible trouble getting measurements. Scan last week I was told 'I'm not picking up your notes again' and at a 20 week scan they resorted to a vaginal scan. They donit day in day out and whilst I'm not saying they shouldn't think before they speak it's common knowledge that the higher the bmi the often much harder the scan is.

I’ve conducted ultrasounds and I’ve pulled faces. It takes a lot of concentration and effort to do an anomaly scan. Sometimes you just can’t help it, a bit like sticking your tongue out when you’re writing or drawing.

I can garauntee that if the sonographer asked you to leave the room and wait to be rescanned without telling you why, you’d have had the longest 15 minutes of your life in that waiting room, with all sorts going through your head. She was honest with you. You may not have liked hearing the reason she gave but it was better than leaving you in the waiting room panicking.

Not uncommon for a different sonographer to rescan, definitely not uncommon for someone to be at the computer working and not interacting. I wouldn’t call anything she did unprofessional or rude. She even said she didn’t want to upset you.

Sonagraohers get a raw deal in my opinion. There’s much more to it than squirting a bit of jelly on and wiggling the Doppler around. It’s highly skilled and taxing work which often shows undesirable results.

I had similar with a sonographer who I had the displeasure of seeing.

She was incredibly rude to me throughout the scan, and then requested that I drink even more water and then return.

Upon my return, she pressed the scanner into me so hard - repeatedly, that I was tensing and wincing in agony. I was in severe pain after the scan, and the pain lasted for about 5-6 days.

I complained to the hospital about her.

I’m curious Did, how many scans are sonographers expected to do in a day?

Oh and I’d just like to add, if you want to be treated with kid gloves when it comes to health, don’t ever see a professional health professional. In my experience, the ones that give it to you straight are the ones that will look after you and your best interests

It’s hard to say Lyndsey I’ve conducted very few and not antenatal. It’ll depend on the department and the hospital, how many machines there are, how many sonographer and how many scanning slots they’ll have. They do work very long hours.

She probably didn't mean 'I don't want to upset you' to mean you should be upset that you are pg and overweight. She probably meant that you had come for an anomaly scan and weren't going to get one and that would be upsetting for lots of people.
In my job I have to sometimes refer people to a different facility due to either their weight or their size and if I am apologetic I don't mean 'sorry you are fat' I mean 'sorry you were expecting a scan today and now you aren't getting one'.
While the second sonographer scanned you the first sonographer was getting on with someone else. You don't need to have 2 people engaging with you and the second sonographer doesn't need to be distracted while she is scanning. I work in a similar setting and if we are doing something particularly difficult we deliberately don't engage with each other (unless necessary for patient safety) to allow the person doing the examination to fully concentrate. If an examination is straightforward or we don't have anything else to do we may engage more with patients but your scan was obviously very challenging to the extent that it couldn't be completed so the second sonographer must have been concentrating like billy-o

I think you’ve had some harsh responses.
She told you what the problem was and I don’t think any hcp should have to beat around the bush when talking about weight/lifestyle. People can get far too touchy over it but it sounds like you took it ok.
But when you returned to the room, would it have pained her to smile, and say, because I couldn’t get the measurements, my senior is taking over, and I’m just taking notes?
That would have been polite.
Yes the nhs are pushed for resources, but it doesn’t mean their staff should be pushed for basic manners. Pleasantries don’t come out of the budget!

So request another one if you wish, but you probably won’t see her again anyway
Or on the other hand you could see her again and she may be perfectly nice, as it could have been something going on in her life which caused her to be so abrupt.

Thanks Did. I was curious.

I can totally see why a sonographer might not treat patients with kid gloves. They spend all day doing very demanding tasks with women for whom it’s a huge deal, but for the sonographer it’s just routine. Seems like quite a physical job and emotionally stressful too.

So I can see why, if this one was a little off, she might be. Imagine scanning women all day, having to tell some their baby has died (maybe even the appointment before OP).

However, nothing OP has said makes me think she was unprofessional. Like PP have said, she was probably apologising for not being able to do the scan not for OP being so fat.

And it’s not wrong for a medic to point out your BMI is a problem when it has literally caused a problem during the scan.

OP, let this be a wake up call. Get a handle on your weight, before it has a serious impact on you or your child.

Lindsey our Sonographers start at 8 am and have scans booked every 15 mins for abdomen/pelvic scans . They have 20 mins for antenatal scans . They get half hour for lunch if they're lucky but often they have to wait for people to drink more because they haven't followed instructions on how much and when to drink and so miss their lunch. They finish at 5:30. Most Sonographers have neck , shoulder and wrist problems.

Or she could have been concentrating (hence face pulling), getting annoyed at herself that she couldn't get the scan pictures needed, and be tired because she's pregnant.

She did nothing wrong. And she was entering info in the computer, why would she need to be there. You do realise NHS is overstretched and she prob had load more woman to see and possibly running behind

Sounds like she could have been nicer about it. It is your choice not to have her touch you again I wouldn't want her near me. Imagine if she actually had bad news to deliver after that attitude.

I'm sure it is a hard job but if she can't do it well she shouldn't be doing it.

OP it is very unlikely you will see the same first sonographer again especially if you are hard to scan. So far I've had 3 different sonographers plus a trainee. The first two made it very clear they didn't want to scan me again because baby keeps moving and is always in a difficult position to scan. At my 28 week growth scan it was left to the trainee to do nearly all the direct communication even though they both had to scan me as the baby's movements meant the trainee couldn't check blood vessels. The sonographer only communicated directly with me with to say "Hello" at the beginning and to tell me she would come to into the waiting room to hand me my notes.

I also actually didn't look at their faces when they were scanning me I was looking at the screen as due to the baby's movements and position I think all four would be pulling faces.

Btw I'm aware all HCPs have been told to tell people if their BMI etc is not ideal.

It's hard to say if she was being rude. I'm a radiographer and it's a part of the job that we get patients that are difficult because of their size. Sometimes we have to tell patients they can't be done at all because they are over the weight limit of the table or won't fit inside the scanner. That obviously can be embarrassing for the patient no matter how you say it. But there is no choice. If they won't fit, they won't fit!

On the other hand though, I have seen some staff that act like the patients weight is a personal insult. That's not a helpful attitude. If you can't do a patients exam or can only achieve limited/poor views, then you just do what you can and document it - no point getting upset at the patient.

I'm a sonographer.

I know it's not the nicest thing to hear, but if she couldn't get the images/measurements she needed you would need to be told. You would undoubtedly want to know why, mothers natural panic.
So your sonographer told you the truth.

It really is very, very difficult to scan a larger lady. I can't think of any other way to make it seem less offensive. However, I can think of a few ways that would have made it worse. It's one of those situations where there is no great, complimentary ways to say it.

She was probably more annoyed that you didn't already have a full bladder. That's my pet peeve but then it's on my trusts appointment letters. Pretty hard to miss.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well.

I don't think you realise how much strain sonographers put themselves through physically trying to get accurate images and by you being much larger is only going to make it much harder on her plus she's pregnant too. It sounded more like she was letting you know her reason for being unable to give you a sonogram than her being rude as she was just pointing out facts!

OP 'AIBU?' Various posters 'YABU' OP still tries to defend herself after asking a question. 🙄

OP as PP's have said you can't expect every medical professional to treat you with kid gloves. Obesity puts a huge strain on the NHS and I'm disgusted you mentioned cancer in one of your posts. Get yourself on a healthy eating plan and lose some weight before your baby is born. It's not the sonographers fault she couldn't get accurate measurements due to your obesity FGS, that's YOUR issue. YABVU.

All she had to say was that she was struggling to get views. She did not need to tell you that your BMI was the problem. But yes, you will now have a whole parade of posters come along to tell you you should go on a diet or that you have no right to expect people to be courteous to you.

user your comment has already been explained by sonographers earlier in the thread re the OP's BMI.