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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a kitten, even though I won't have anything to do with it?

174 replies

OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 14:37

The kids are absolutely desperate for a kitten and some have just come up for sale in my area. They've had a really shit time of it lately... My mum died, their uncle died and DH has just come out the other side of a horrible depression/anxiety fog that put so much strain on all of us. I think a kitten will really lift their spirits a bit. We don't have any other pets.

Thing is I won't be able to touch it because I'm really allergic. So no kitten cuddles Sad

I'll be fine with an antihistamine and avoiding too much contact so I don't feel I'm really an issue, but the cat will be spending most of its time with me in the house once DD's off to school in September, so will me not being able to give it loads of love and snuggles going to affect it? Will it be sad?

OP posts:
TattyTshirt · 12/07/2018 22:06

Haven't read the full thread. Just came on to say if you are allergic to cats don't get one. That's it really

ShotsFired · 13/07/2018 08:49

Don't know what that leaves us with really.

It leaves you with not getting an animal to rely on as a way to cheer up the children. Honestly, there are other ways of bringing happiness back into a household.

Mangoo · 13/07/2018 09:12

Haven't RTFT but kittens are actually really hard work. We have two cats and I can tell you I enjoy them a lot more now they are slightly older.

In terms of allergies it isn't usually the hair that you are actually allergic to. It's the saliva or skin.

What about a tortoise? We have one and the kids love him. No hair or allergies at all. I'd do some research first just to make sure you give them the right food & bedding etc.. but they are easy to look after & he's actually a proper little character.

Eponymous · 13/07/2018 09:51

I have cat allergies. I did a lot of research and we have ended up with 2 Siberians that I have no reaction too. My dd is asd and an only child so a cuddly pet of some kind was kinda critical.

You do need to test the cat for your own personal allergies tho.

The allergy protein is FelD1 in their saliva and skin not in the fur, except when they groom themselves. Not the hair itself.
Female cats produce less Fel D 1 than males, although neutered males produce less than un- neutered. If your determined to go ahead get a female.

Siberian's are extremely expensive tho and you would only get them through a breeded.

adviceonthepox · 13/07/2018 10:06

My ex was allergic to cats and he had a reaction every time in came in my house even with taking antihistamines. He had nothing at all to do with my cat. Cat was out the house when he came to pick up the kids or to have the kids for me to go to work. I even emptied the cat litter hoovered and mopped everywhere before he came over. Didn't stop his reaction in the slightest!

Skarossinkplungerridesagain · 13/07/2018 10:44

You're talking about buying a living thing that you can't take care of just to cheer your kids up. Abhorrent.

DarlingNikita · 13/07/2018 10:49

It's a terrible and irresponsible idea to get a pet (any pet) to lift your kids' spirits. Chances are they'll lose interest in it after a matter of months/weeks/days anyway.

Branleuse · 13/07/2018 10:58

my friend got a siberian forest cat because theyre relatively non allergenic. Her husband is really allergic and he is fine with these cats

Branleuse · 13/07/2018 10:58

im a bit allergic to my cats, but I take an antihistamine every day and its mostly fine unless i do loads of nose boops

Mangoo · 13/07/2018 11:01

Nose boops are the best stress relief Grin

thecatsthecats · 13/07/2018 11:11

One of my boys went missing for four days this week (the bastard nearly broke my heart), and the emotional support we had to give his brother was crazy.

They're cuddly cats anyway, but he likes his space a bit more, but he just would not leave us alone, needed more fuss, cuddles and play with his brother gone.

Cats can be hugely emotionally demanding (and now we're having to deal with his sulks that we're fussing the prodigal cat, and making him feel welcome back...).

Birdsgottafly · 13/07/2018 11:17

I'd look out for baby rabbits being offered locally. As soon as they are handled, the better, you have you get a pair, though, which would also stop the children from fighting over them.

You can partly litter train them and unlike Cats, they are around when you are out in the back garden (in a run).

You can't guarantee the personality of a Cat, you could get one that isn't what the children want, because it it so aloof.

Are Geckos/Bearded Dragons definitely not for you?

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 13/07/2018 11:41

Hi Op. Im really allergic to cats and rabbits. I have 4 cats and 2 rabbits!! I take a daily antihistamine, those once a day tesco own brand loratadine tablets which are v good and v cheap! Ive definitely developed a tolerance as if Im around a strange cat I can feel the itchy eyes and wheezing beginning to happen.

My advice if you want kittens is to get 2. They play together and so expect less interaction from you. You will still need to play with them lots and cuddle them but Id say less than you would a solo kitten. Hoover daily to start off with. I can now go a week without hoovering and feel fine (a few years in).

I know quite a few fellow allergy sufferers who now own cats. We have all developed a tolerance and I can quite happily sleep with a big fluff ball curled up on my head and suffer no ill effects. Cats are such wonderful animals. They are a lot more interactive than smaller pets and I really dont believe you deserve the negative comments youve had on this thread!

Justanamechange · 13/07/2018 11:49

I have 20 house cats. I'm often allergic to new cats or cats that I don't know, but it settles fairly fast. Once in a while I'll get very itchy eyes, but again doesn't last long. I manage just fine.

You sound like you've given a lot of consideration to getting a kitten and would be a great home 'but if you're worried about lack of attention during the day as cuddles is the only issue for you with getting cats then maybe get two kittens. They'll give each other love and cuddles when no humans are around that can.

loveyouradvice · 13/07/2018 15:09

Why on earth aren't you thinking of getting different animal such as a guineapig or rabbit? Both very sweet, furry and cuddley...

You would obviously need to check but if you are allergic to cats doesn't make sense to risk having one in the house.... a DF did and after 3 months had to move the cat out as the accumulation was making them really ill.... So a day or two I can understand, but all the time???

NeedDrink · 13/07/2018 15:22

My kids have a cat each. I feed them. Kids do all the cuddles. Had them for years. Kids havent lost interest and love the cats. I take responsibility but dont do cuddles. If your allergy allow it, go for it. You dont have to cuddle it..

ElementalHalfLife · 13/07/2018 16:09

Some very OTT responses on here. I think that you sound like an ideal cat family, OP, your DH and dc can do the up close and personal cuddling stuff even if you can't which not all cats like btw let along 'need'. I currently have 4 (6 if you include the 2 CF TNR ferals who come around twice daily for feeding) of whom 1 hates ANY kind of touching except by our senior male cat whom she adores. She acts like she's being tortured (she's not) cringing and mewing piteously whenever we have to briefly handle her to apply flea treatment or the rare occasions when she's needed medication or to go the vet. Our other female doesn't mind limited petting or grooming but hates being picked up and she doesn't do lap-sitting so therefore cuddles are out. Our other two, both males, will happily be carried around like babies forever - I've joked we should get them slings.

My main reservation is out of concern for you, OP, not so much for the welfare of the cat. As pointed out, cat hair and dander gets everywhere, it's isn't easy to confine even if the cat is banned from certain rooms, it's often airborne and also gets carried unwittingly from room to room on clothing, shoes etc. If it it turned out unbearable for you, then you'd have to look at rehoming the cat which honestly wouldn't be fair to it or your dc if they'd become attached.

SuburbanRhonda · 13/07/2018 16:28

Please don’t get rabbits.

They are sensitive, complex, prey animals. It’s a myth that they make good pets for children and they normally end up in a rescue once the family realise how much work they are.

Mangoo · 13/07/2018 16:36

I was told by the shelter where we got ours that boys are much more affectionate than girls. I would say that's definitely true for our two.

Perhaps see if there's any truth to this (I've never looked it up myself) and go for a female kitten if so?

EscapistTendencies · 13/07/2018 16:45

Have I indicated anywhere that I don't understand that I'm allergic to cats, Wolfie?

But you don't seem to understand. Not touching the cat, or confining it upstairs won't stop your symptoms. Cat allergens are in the air and on your walls/soft furnishings. Even if you were so bad you had to re-home, the allergens can hang around for upto a year in the environment. Plus a cat would be miserable being confined. And now your jumping to guinea pigs, and yes you absolutely cannot just have one, which you would know if you'd done any research at all. Please go off and do some research on the species you're considering to see if you can meet it's needs first. Sorry to sound harsh but I deal with animals miserable and neglected through ignorance every day and I'm sick of people getting pets on a whim who's needs they just do not understand.

BlankTimes · 13/07/2018 17:00

Please get your kids an interactive soft toy each.

Then your allergies won't matter and there's no danger of a real animal being wrongly cared for.

Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 14/07/2018 07:00

You're talking about buying a living thing that you can't take care of just to cheer your kids up. Abhorrent.

Except I've said about ten times that I would be doing all the care, and the cat would be a family pet. There's also another adult in the house who has two hands and a brain Hmm

Anyway, we have a small break away booked for the summer holidays so any more pondering over a cat will probably resume in September.

OP posts:
adaline · 14/07/2018 07:56

You still don't understand OP. You can't live in a house with a cat when you're severely allergic. Their fur gets everywhere - we have two and their fur is all over the carpets, the sofas, all the laminate and wooden floors, and everyone's clothes - it gets in your food, on your bed even if the cats aren't allowed in the bedroom. Their litter gets tracked through the house as well.

We vacuum daily, wash their bedding on a weekly hot wash and you can still smell "animal" in the house. My mum has severe allergies and she can't come to mine for long because the fur is everywhere no matter what we do to stop it. It's especially bad this time of year because they're moulting.

Nothing you do will stop the spread of cat hair and you can't confine a cat - it's cruel. They need space to run and jump and be up high or in enclosed spaces to be happy.

TrudeauGirl · 14/07/2018 10:15

I don't think a cat would be a good idea. They need lots of affection.

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