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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a kitten, even though I won't have anything to do with it?

174 replies

OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 14:37

The kids are absolutely desperate for a kitten and some have just come up for sale in my area. They've had a really shit time of it lately... My mum died, their uncle died and DH has just come out the other side of a horrible depression/anxiety fog that put so much strain on all of us. I think a kitten will really lift their spirits a bit. We don't have any other pets.

Thing is I won't be able to touch it because I'm really allergic. So no kitten cuddles Sad

I'll be fine with an antihistamine and avoiding too much contact so I don't feel I'm really an issue, but the cat will be spending most of its time with me in the house once DD's off to school in September, so will me not being able to give it loads of love and snuggles going to affect it? Will it be sad?

OP posts:
LittleMissMarker · 11/07/2018 15:31

Sorry, but I'd advise you strongly against this, even with an adult cat. You will have to look after the cat yourself because children can't be relied on to do all the regular care. Cats shed a lot, they need brushing, your house will be full of fluff.

You could get lucky - I had two cats and became very allergic to one and not at all to the other, though they were sisters. But it could also be a disaster, and that's not fair on you, or the cat. I have a different cat now and I am a bit allergic to it, I can't have it in my bedroom with the result that when it does get in it pees on the bed (it never pees on DS's bed, where it happily sleeps) so DH and I have to keep our bedroom door shut all the time and make sure the cat hasn't crept in. It doesn't sound like much, but dealing with a weed-on mattress gets very wearing, and so does endlessly making sure the door is shut and being cut off if I'm in the bedroom and so on.

I understand you all need some cheering up but this isn't the best way. It could just be a big strain in the long run, and you don't need that.

theunsure · 11/07/2018 15:31

YABVVVU
Don’t do it, horribly unfair to any kitten or cat.
Would you leave a child to cry because you are too allergic to touch it? No different for an animal that needs comfort.

bakingdemon · 11/07/2018 15:34

My husband is allergic to cats and just being in the same room as one for longer than about ten minutes has him wheezing and his eyes itching. If you're allergic to cats you absolutely shouldn't get one, full stop.

Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 15:37

I am taking all posts on board, but can I just say I had absolutely no intention of making the children responsible for anything to do with the cat's care... I don't know how anyone's got that impression from my OP. Me and DH (who loves cats) would be doing everything, obviously.

OP posts:
Almostfifty · 11/07/2018 15:39

I'm allergic to cats, sneeze like nowt on earth near them. However, I'm not allergic to our cats. I seem to have become used to them and can look after them no problem. I do make sure there's never any fur lying around though.

If you're worried about affection, get two, then they'll look after each other. Of course this means twice the fur etc, but I'm fine with two.

WeirdAndPissedOff · 11/07/2018 15:39

Kittens are very similar to toddlers, in some ways. As well as needing attention, cuddles and play, they also sometimes need little nudges or picking up when they're beig mischievous eg climbing the curtains, chewing the leads, squatting in your potted plants, trying to eat DC's dinner/chocolate.
They also leave hair and dander everywhere, can be bitey when young (and supposedly it's the saliva that causes more allergens than the fur), and often won't take no for an answer if they decide they want cuddles or to sleep on your pillow.

I should know - I've got six of the little sods. Grin
But hands-off rearing isn't very realistic I'm afraid.

However if you do decide to get one, I would second getting either an older cat or two kittens.

Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 15:41

I am ok to touch them, I just need to be careful not to touch my face/eyes/mouth and wash my hands as soon as possible.

Can guinea pigs live in the house?

OP posts:
Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 15:42

That's really interesting Almostfifty. Were you allergic to them at first and you developed a tolerance?

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 11/07/2018 15:45

Can guinea pigs live in the house?

Rabbits can. And are much quieter than guinea pigs

Charolais · 11/07/2018 15:51

I'm allergic to cats, sneeze like nowt on earth near them. However, I'm not allergic to our cats. I seem to have become used to them and can look after them no problem. I do make sure there's never any fur lying around though

I have been only allergic to one cat in my life. She made my eyes itch and all that. I’ve even had skin allergy tests that proved I have an allergy to cats but we have had many other cats and I’m fine with all them - no reaction. It was just that one cat years ago I reacted to.

eggcellent · 11/07/2018 15:52

If you're set on a kitten then maybe consider getting two so it won't be lonely. They will keep each other company and play together.

HoleyCoMoley · 11/07/2018 15:55

Yes piggies can live inside but they are happier as a pair

Wolfiefan · 11/07/2018 15:57

If you are allergic to cats and have cats in your house then the whole house will be covered in what you're allergic to.
Don't get a pet you can't touch and may have to rehome.
Don't get a pet for children.
Get a pet you want and are able to interact with.

Melamin · 11/07/2018 15:57

I would love a cat but I seem to be coming down with one allergy after another. The loratadine and cetirizine both make me groggy so I am now on acrivastine. Now I have got stones in the salivary gland, which seem to be a side effect so I am going cold turkey with the antihistamines (pollen seems to be over here - grass is dead Grin ).

I knew someone who had a rabbit and a guinea pig in the hallway. They were very friendly and used to come out in the evening and chew the television cables Grin

AwkwardPaws27 · 11/07/2018 15:58

Guinea pigs can live indoors very happily and make great children's pets - much better than rabbits.

Guinea pigs should always be kept in pairs or groups, never alone. Get the largest cage you can find, and try to rescue if possible. There are lots of small rescues which will match you up with a suitable pair or trio, for kids they will probably match you with a well handled pair of young adults rather than skittish babies.

They are fab, and they make the best squeaking noises to greet you and when they hear the fridge door open.

ImAGoofyGoober · 11/07/2018 16:01

I didn’t think iou had to touch a cat to still have the affect of an allergy? I thought it was the dander which can float about through the house?

Anyway I think it would be silly to get something you are allergic to.

ImAGoofyGoober · 11/07/2018 16:02

Mine would really set your allergies off. Soooo. Much. Fluff!

to get a kitten, even though I won't have anything to do with it?
SuburbanRhonda · 11/07/2018 16:11

Please don’t get a cat because your children are pestering you for one.

And don’t get guinea pigs either unless you’re prepared to research their care properly, rather than just asking a couple of questions from strangers in the internet.

helpfulperson · 11/07/2018 16:28

I'm allergic to and have always owned cats. As someone else mentioned my own don't bother me as much as other peoples so I don't know if one can become immune. I also took prescriptions antihistamines daily for a number of years but now only need the occasional piriton.

I would suggest an older cat rather than a kitten though because yes kittens do need lots of hugs.

Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 16:46

And don’t get guinea pigs either unless you’re prepared to research their care properly, rather than just asking a couple of questions from strangers in the internet.

I'm not an idiot Confused

I didn’t think iou had to touch a cat to still have the affect of an allergy?

It's strange, but they've only ever affected me when I've touched them and then gone to touch my face/eyes/mouth. I could sit next to a cat quite happily for hours as long as it wasn't rubbing itself on me.

OP posts:
Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 16:51

ImAGoofyGoober

What a gorgeous cat!

OP posts:
UpTheBumNoBabies · 11/07/2018 16:52

Don't get a cat. We know have four (one gave birth to one in the early hours this morning, we didn't have a clue and as had only ever left the house once).
They need much more affection than a lot of people realise.
You'll trip over them on the stairs cos they're sneaky little feckers who just lay there and refuse to move until you've tried to overstep them.
They'll stick their arse in your face every morning to be fed.
The kids will love it to bits but won't clean its shit.

Almostfifty · 11/07/2018 16:55

Ok, yes, a bit, but (and I'm probably going to be proved wrong here) I do wonder if you're not quite as allergic to kittens as grown cats, as they're just growing their fur and not shedding it.

I sneeze a lot in other people's houses who have cats still.

LittleMissMarker · 11/07/2018 16:58

I had absolutely no intention of making the children responsible for anything to do with the cat's care... I don't know how anyone's got that impression from my OP.

I kind of got that impression - or at least that possibility - because the very first thing you said was that you wont have anything to do with it. But if you and DH are caring for the cat then you will have a lot to do with with it and you will be exposed to the allergens.

I just need to be careful not to touch my face/eyes/mouth and wash my hands as soon as possible.

Brushing the cat will be pretty unpleasant if you are allergic. The fluff flies up, your face and eyes will be itching. Dusting and hoovering and gathering up laundry are likely to be a problem too. I am guessing you haven't lived with cats before?

If you're worried about affection, get two, then they'll look after each other.

Nooooo! I've had two pairs. Yes, my first two were a pair of sweeties, they were no harder together then one, and they did keep each other company. It only broke my heart that a few years later I couldn't spend more than a minute in the same room as one of them because I had become so allergic to her, and she was bonded to me. Later we had another pair. Fewer allergy problems, but the second two were not much company for each other at all and the remaining cat (one died quite young) is much happier and more settled alone. Oh, and both of them hate being picked up and hate cuddles, and neither will sit on a lap.

Cats are a lottery. We got both pairs as kittens, each pair were sibs, similar circumstances, they turned out very differently.

UpTheBumNoBabies · 11/07/2018 16:58

*now not know