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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a kitten, even though I won't have anything to do with it?

174 replies

OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 14:37

The kids are absolutely desperate for a kitten and some have just come up for sale in my area. They've had a really shit time of it lately... My mum died, their uncle died and DH has just come out the other side of a horrible depression/anxiety fog that put so much strain on all of us. I think a kitten will really lift their spirits a bit. We don't have any other pets.

Thing is I won't be able to touch it because I'm really allergic. So no kitten cuddles Sad

I'll be fine with an antihistamine and avoiding too much contact so I don't feel I'm really an issue, but the cat will be spending most of its time with me in the house once DD's off to school in September, so will me not being able to give it loads of love and snuggles going to affect it? Will it be sad?

OP posts:
Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 22:31

Well according to Wolfie, Voice0fReason, you're either not allergic at all or very, very stupid Grin

Are you cured too, or just stupid?

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 11/07/2018 22:31

Please don't rescue a cat from where I volunteer. It's heartbreaking settling them back into the cattery when they're returned after days or weeks due to an allergy.

SoftSheen · 11/07/2018 22:33

Don't get a cat. Cat hair gets everywhere- in your bed, on your clothes. Your allergy could get worse, meaning that you will have to rehome the kitten, which isn't fair on either the kitten or the DC.

If you think that your DC really want and would appreciate a pet, how about doing some research into guinea-pigs? They can make good pets for children, and though they of course would need to be properly cared for, it wouldn't be as necessary for you to have large amounts of direct physical contact.

powershowerforanhour · 11/07/2018 22:34

Only get a cat if you really, really want a cat for the next 15-20 years. How old will you be in 20 years? That's how old you will be when the cat dies. You have to look after it till then (and more intensively in its latter years). If that's OK then go for it. Rabbits can live longer than you'd think too. Google average lifespan of any species you might consider getting and consider whether you're OK with tying yourself to it that long.

Voice0fReason · 11/07/2018 22:35

If you were allergic. Properly allergic.
So there aren't less severe allergies then?
There's no such thing as mild hayfever or mild dust allergy? Because I have those as well as a mild cat allergy.
Now my penicillin allergy - that is quite severe. Not life-threatening, but needing treatment.

Not all allergies are the same.

DrDougieHowserMD · 11/07/2018 22:36

I wouldn't. If your DH was willing to do the care then okay but if he's not in the best place mentally he might not want the responsibility.
My DH is highly allergic to cats and they set his asthma off. I used to trap and neuter cats and would take the colony's kittens in for treatment and homing. DH was fine and stayed out of the way of them. I did end up keeping an orphaned newborn though and now 4 years on she has nothing to do with me and is wholly my DH's cat, living on his lap! Somehow she doesn't set off his allergies (though other cats still do). Very odd.

Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 22:37

I'm going to look into Guinea pigs tomorrow I think. It would be nice to have a companion pet. Something that sits with us on the sofa and socialises with us as a family... Our garden's too small to have a dog, and I have a disability that means I wouldn't be able to walk it very far. Don't know what that leaves us with really.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 12/07/2018 00:24

There are supposedly hypoallergenic cat breeds though.

Which some people are still allergic to!

It is far more a problem of dander than fur and dander is constantly being shed.

However often you clean you cannot escape it.

heartsease68 · 12/07/2018 00:30

If your children didn't go to school, you would have to be setting up regular breaks where the kitten had a long segment of 'me'/nap time anyway.

heartsease68 · 12/07/2018 00:33

I also disagree with the idea that kittens are a lot of work. Before they're going to the litter tray (which happens so early!) and if they're being bottle-fed (which we have done) they are indeed a great deal of work. But if you have one kitten already house trained and weaned onto dry food and a little person available to pull a string along for an hour or two each day, I cannot see why this would be unfeasible for you.

heartsease68 · 12/07/2018 00:37

this is taking me back down memory lane. when you have nine kittens all needing to be fed bottle three times a day but also mid-weaning (so need the dirt softened off their faces using oil and then a thorough bath and dry each evening) followed by eye drops and antibiotics for an eye/gastro infetion that they have helpfully passed to the entire house including your one year old baby....they are indeed a lot of work.One innocent, healthy little kitten is a piece of cake!

Dieu · 12/07/2018 01:46

Dogs are way better (why delay the inevitable Grin), and maybe easier to manage with your allergies? By no means guaranteed of course, but some some breeds - mine included - don't even moult.

TwoBlueShoes · 12/07/2018 02:23

It’s not so much that kittens are hard work, they are just really annoying. Cute, but annoying. I think even without the allergy issue, your DH isn’t going to appreciate trying to study from home with a kitten bugging him all day.

AltheaorDonna · 12/07/2018 03:57

This is a ridiculous idea. I have a beautiful fluffy ragdoll cat that I got because my colleague's wife was allergic. She was only a little bit allergic when they got him, but became much worse over the 18 months they had him, and in fact for the last six months the poor cat was locked in their garage while she had weekly anti-allergen injections to try to get over it. It was heartbreaking for the poor cat, and it took him some time to come round after we re-homed him. And cat hair gets absolutely everywhere, so not touching it won't help. Please don't get a pet you are allergic to, its a recipe for disaster.

Jackyjill6 · 12/07/2018 07:03

Well you sound pretty sensible to me OP. You have your DC and DP to cuddle a cat. You are able to do the non contact stuff like feed it, and play with it with something on a piece of string etc. Oh and you are perfectly capable of ensuring it gets the proper vet care.
You know your allergy better than anybody on here, so you are the best person to be honest with yourself as to how you will manage that, and consider all the extra vacuuming etc that may be needed.

I am not sure how helpful it is for others to recommend rabbits and guinea pigs instead, as I think people can be allergic to them too, and it's much less likely that they would get enough attention from the family.

Jackyjill6 · 12/07/2018 07:06

So if you were going to check out guinea pigs, make sure you handle them to see if you are OK to touch them.

thelastredwinegum · 12/07/2018 12:41

Guinea pigs are great pets, not particularly cuddly but they do have their own personalities. One of mine (rescued) lived to 8years old.
"The Guinea Pig Forum" is a great place to research and ask advice, there is also a list of local rescues which I believe you can narrow down to area.

Many of the cages/hutches advertised as being suitable for piggies (and rabbits Angry are far too small though. C&C cages are great if you have the space for them, and no other pets which may decide to try and get at them.

Ohyesiam · 12/07/2018 12:44

I’ve only read your initial post op, so you might be past this now, but my allergic husband has been fine with nettle tablets daily and getting a female cat, who produce less of the dander that most allergies are about.

thelastredwinegum · 12/07/2018 12:45

Oh I should probably add that piggies have hair rather than fur, my DH was still allergic to them though - although not as bad as he is with other animals. I think the hay (which they need lots of!) affected him as well.

Ohyesiam · 12/07/2018 12:48

wolfie that’s not true. My oh has a medically diagnosed cat allergy ( cat dander 6) and he just wheezes a bit( but not with our cat see my previous post) .
Is one of your Symptoms rudeness?

Jaxhog · 12/07/2018 13:47

Please don't get one. your kids will lose interest, and you'll end up doing the basics. The kitten will have a miserable life that way. Please don't do it.

MikeUniformMike · 12/07/2018 14:23

Cats can live to about 20 yrs. It's a big commitment. A kitten is like a toddler and a cat like a teenager.
I wouldn't be without mine but there have been sacrifices.
He wants food on demand, leaves fur and dander everywhere, brings home 'friends' who are reluctant to leave (tiny nasty biting jumping ones), he is unbelievably picky with his food, he stays out all night, he nags when he doesn't get his own way...

LuluBellaBlue · 12/07/2018 14:29

This may be totally incorrect but I have a pure white cat..... 3 different people who are allergic to cats haven’t been allergic to him. I wonder if it’s something to do with the different pigments???
Also white cats rock! Pic to proof it Grin

to get a kitten, even though I won't have anything to do with it?
Wolfiefan · 12/07/2018 14:37

What's not true Oh?
Cats are rehomed due to allergies? It is.
Allergies can worsen? Yes they can?
Living with an animal you are actually allergic to is miserable? Yep. I'm allergic to one of two sister cats. It's not fun.

SuburbanRhonda · 12/07/2018 20:37

I'm going to look into Guinea pigs tomorrow I think. It would be nice to have a companion pet. Something that sits with us on the sofa and socialises with us as a family

Guinea pigs are social animals so you will need more than one or it will be miserable.

They poo constantly so I wouldn’t have one on the sofa unless you’re very relaxed about that sort of thing.