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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a kitten, even though I won't have anything to do with it?

174 replies

OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 14:37

The kids are absolutely desperate for a kitten and some have just come up for sale in my area. They've had a really shit time of it lately... My mum died, their uncle died and DH has just come out the other side of a horrible depression/anxiety fog that put so much strain on all of us. I think a kitten will really lift their spirits a bit. We don't have any other pets.

Thing is I won't be able to touch it because I'm really allergic. So no kitten cuddles Sad

I'll be fine with an antihistamine and avoiding too much contact so I don't feel I'm really an issue, but the cat will be spending most of its time with me in the house once DD's off to school in September, so will me not being able to give it loads of love and snuggles going to affect it? Will it be sad?

OP posts:
RedPanda2 · 11/07/2018 16:59

Guinea pigs are social so you need two, please look for a rescue as buying from a breeder is horrible. They need a lot of space so a tiny cage will not do. I'm really against the idea of getting a pet 'for the kids' as they can lose interest. Hence the need for guinea pig rescues.

Alwayscommuting · 11/07/2018 17:00

I think it depends on the cat, could you possibly ask a rescue if they have any that aren't particularly affectionate. I have 2 cats age 2 & 3 and neither of them would be happy at all if they didn't have love while we're in the house. My mum has 2 cats that are older and one of them would be quite happy to be left alone. The issue would then be that when your little ones wanted a cuddle they might not be up for it.

PonderLand · 11/07/2018 17:04

I'm allergic to animals I have asthma attacks/hives/swollen throat and eyes if I even go in a house that has a pet. For some reason I thought it'd be a good idea to get a kitten, after about a week of awful reactions I was fine and my cat is 4 years old now and nothing to report since he beginning. It's really bizarre and I can't understand it.

I'm still allergic to other people's pets but I must of developed something for my particular cat. I wouldn't get a hairless cat, a family member had hairless rats and I was more allergic to them than any other furry animal I've come across.

On another note my parents got a dog when I moved out and during a period of living back at home I did start to improve around him. When I visit now though the symptoms come back. I don't know if this helps you but there is a chance you could be okay! I didn't think it'd be possible for me to ever have a pet.

parklives · 11/07/2018 17:09

I just get the feeling op isn't listening at all to the resounding NO!

Can't you just have a lovely holiday with the kids?
I know a few people who have bought pets 'for the kids' but the kids rarely stay interested more than 5 mins very long.

Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 17:13

Why do you get that impression? I'm asking questions, I'm reading the replies with interest.

It wouldn't be a pet for the kids, it would (potentially, since I'm not actually decided, hence the thread) be a family pet.

OP posts:
LadysFingers · 11/07/2018 17:14

We had a kitten - it could only go 20 minutes without a cuddle! It used to follow me about squeaking for a cuddle! Kittens need to be socialised with people, if you want a happy, docile cat in the house!

blackbirdbluebottle · 11/07/2018 17:17

Can you get something else other than a kitten as a first pet? Like a fish?

CluelessAboutSpain · 11/07/2018 17:18

As previous posters have already mentioned, being allergic to cats doesn't necessarily mean you will be allergic to all cats. I have a friend who massively reacted to my old cat but is completely fine / symptom free with our current (incidentally much fluffier) cat. On the other hand my old cat was no problem at all for a relative of mine who has terribly allergy symptoms around most other cats.

From what I have read some cats produce a lot more allergens (usually a protein called fel d 1 and fel d 4) than others. You might be able to find a rescue / someone looking to re-home who would be willing to let you spend a couple of hours with a cat to see how you react to that particular animal.

Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 17:18

It's been a looong time since I raised a kitten. I do think I've forgotten what they're like.

OP posts:
BunnyCarr · 11/07/2018 17:18

Please don't do it.
Please don't.

Your kids will be interested in the kitten for about 2 months and then the donkey work will be left to someone else. Probably you.

You're allergic to cats, that's serious, therefore they can't have a kitten and that the end of it. Your health should trump their fad.

UpTheBumNoBabies · 11/07/2018 17:18

Oh and some aren't as affectionate.
Cat 1 - hates men
Cat 2 - loves everyone
Cat 3 - feral bitch 😂

Cat 4 - see attached.

But, they are lovely cuties and I wouldn't be without mine.

Is there anyone you know with cats who you could go and spend time with and see how you get on? Or ask a rescue if they need a short term fosterer to help you decide?

to get a kitten, even though I won't have anything to do with it?
Original poster
OkMaybeNot · 11/07/2018 17:20

Oh my Up, how beautiful!

OP posts:
Danniz · 11/07/2018 17:28

If you must get one, get an older short haired female. I did that, after research on allergies.

Shortstuff08 · 11/07/2018 17:45

Allergies can get better.

They can also get worse.

Are you really willing to take that gamble? Get a cat, your allergy gets worse, cat needs to be rehomed, kids devastated and cat rejected?

Really?

BMW6 · 11/07/2018 17:50

What if the kitten really attaches to YOU!? Are you going to reject it by constantly pushing it away?

MatildaTheCat · 11/07/2018 17:53

We got a cat because ds2 was so desperate when he was 8. The cat is now 18 and going strong. He left home years ago. Oddly he didn’t take the cat. Hmm

Luckily I never had any expectation that he would actually look after or pay for the care of her.

ItalianOne · 11/07/2018 17:53

We got one, been out from day 3 in back garden, is now 1 year old and only comes in for food and few hours at night when he stays in DD room .
I don't have much to do with him tbh and that works for us

PeckhamPauline · 11/07/2018 18:06

Don't get a cat if you are allergic. Sorry but that's a daft idea!

PeckhamPauline · 11/07/2018 18:07

If you really must, try fostering an adult cat first, and then if you decide to keep him you can. If you can't then at least he'll have other options.

susurration · 11/07/2018 18:26

And what will you do when the cat gets into your bedroom without you realising and has a nap on your pillow? Or climbs into the clean washing pile and gets fur on your clothes, without you realising?

How will it be taken to the vets, be wormed/flead effectively, fed, groomed etc if you can't touch it? I wouldn't trust children to take care of a cat to the extent they actually need. Cats are not actually independent, aloof creatures that need nothing from you. They're territorial, not solitary and most cats enjoy human company especially.

ToPlanZ · 11/07/2018 19:55

Hi OP

I have asthma and hayfever and was allergic to cats. I now have two, they are lolling on me as I type. First six months were quite bad, lots of itching, watering eyes as expected, however now I have a tolerance to them and don't suffer anymore.

NotTerfNorCis · 11/07/2018 20:02

Be careful if you are allergic. I love cats but can't have one because they make me so ill. In my case it sets off asthma which just gets worse until the medicines stop working. A workmate's mum had the same problem and only gave up her cat after several spells in hospital.

There are supposedly hypoallergenic cat breeds though. Maybe worth a try?

heartsease68 · 11/07/2018 20:04

We have had many kittens. It will be perfectly fine without cuddles until 2 or 3pm. Especially if you have some entertaining cat toys. Such as a piece of paper and a ribbon.

Thisnamechanger · 11/07/2018 20:09

Rabbits are rotten pets for kids. Only get one of your prepared for a huge amount of work, expense and letting them get on with it. They prefer to be left alone, not cuddled.

Fluffybat · 11/07/2018 20:17

OP just wanted to say that I think it's really sweet you want to get your children something after such a tough year. I think a lot of people are being incredibly hard on you. I know a few people who have cat allergies and live with cats (including my brother in law). It is difficult but I guess it depends on the severity. Could you look into other pet options? A house rabbit? I don't know if you're allergic to them too. We had a house bunny and he was Fab! Sorry for your family's loss.