To deal with this myself

[allergicProblem]

Backstory is that I was accused of making up allergies and went through hell. It was like Chinese whispers and all involved seemed to be incapable of actually checking properly which would have shown I wasnt lying

Anyway.......my youngest clearly has an allergy but because of what happened I feel like just dealing with it myself. Ordering him a special milk and food, avoiding what he reacts to , I have Epi pens etc anyway so it’s just easier.
My dm says I’m being ridiculous but after what happened nothing would surprise me as it was a total muck up from start to finished
AIBU to just deal with this without any nhs input

Nobody ever said munchausens to me but afterwards when I requested our notes something similar ‘?fabricated Illness’ was in notes

Hi OP,
I can understand why you feel so worried about getting services involved again. It sounds like you’ve had a really rough time. However you will need to gave professional input at some point e.g. to control allergens in the school environment.
Can I suggest you take time to write down a factual account of what happened (no emotion in it) and then add how this has impacted on you and your family (emotion bit) to send to your GP. Try not to accuse people as it will make them defensive. Just ‘mistake’ and ‘accident’ type language. Then tell them, from your experience, you strongly suspect youngest also has allergies and you want to manage this proactively with medical services. I don’t think telling them you’d considered managing it yourself with epipens! Ask for a double appointment to discuss this. Make a copy before you send it.
You need to show, and document, how responsible you are. Talk their language. I know this isn’t how it should work. It may take time but with a softly softly approach the services will come around.
Good luck.

Baby is 6 months
Currently breastfed. Had eaten dairy when i gave porridge

Fabricated Illness is the new "correct" name for Munchaussens

It should have been so easy to clear up and it wasn’t, im finding it very hard and still worry willit happen again

Go private. Find a respected consultant. Pay to get the tests done and then present it as a done deal to your GP

Having one Sibling with allergies means genetically the othersmight also have allergies

Not seeking appropriate medical care for your child is actually pretty serious too, OP. The first allegation you say was false, so don't make the second time they investigate a legitimate one! If your child has allergies at some point they'll have to be diagnosed or for that information to go public. If it turns out then (months? years?) later that you have failed to seek appropriate medical treatment for a potentially life threatening health condition, you will not be well treated.

Labradoodliedoodoo
Great advice in a perfect world but do you have any idea how much private care would cost?

I don’t understand why cp phoned the dr in the first place? Someone must have suggested something was going on (munchausens by proxy I assume). Then the nurse said ‘no allerggies’ (By missing the letters) and the whole thing kicked off, but.., why would cp get in touch with the go in first place unless there had been concerns? Nursery? School? Crazy ex?

You need a GP referral to go private if you already gave private insurance. If you don’t have insurance you can pay for it yourself. A consultation will set you back a couple of hundred quid a go. Don’t know how much the testing will cost. BUT then it’ll be a ore-existing condition and nothing related to the allergy will ever be covered.
This may seem like a small point but we had to do this as our GP didn’t ‘believe’ in milk allergy. So non of DCs ongoing related issues have ever been covered since.

*yes, DC had clear milk allergy

And where exactly did you qualify as a dr? You are being DANGEROUSLY ridiculous!!!

Even if you WERE a dr you would be risking your career if you did this.

You are risking a child's LIFE.

Not at all surprised SS were involved.

Aside from everything else, if your child does have a serious allergy and you're WRONG about what they're allergic to they could come into contact when not with you and potentially die as a result of that!

Also not giving a BABY dairy, you are bf now but not eating dairy yourself? Or are you just not giving him dairy directly? If you're having dairy and he's not reacting it's unlikely to be dairy, if it was a commercial baby product you fed him it could be any number of things!

Feeding a very young child without PROPERLY substituting that major food group is neglectful and dangerous too!

Stop this nonsense and go to the dr.

Fabricated illness is how they now describe mbp.

I am absolutely flabbergasted (retro) by these posts.
We have a 6 month old child here, whose mother is very clearly in need of help.
Munchaussen/fabricated illness, potato/tomato!
OP please, please, please go to your gp and get this sorted!
When I say sorted I mean your baby’s health and also you need to talk about the worries you have.
OP, you really need support here, but you absolutely MUST speak to some health professionals and be honest.
DO NOT under any circumstances treat your child yourself!

Graphista if you attack someone who is already feeling like they’ve been attacked what sort of reaction do you expect? If you want to encourage OP to seek professional input can I suggest a less aggressive tone may be far more effective and potentially less damaging.

If you do not seek medical help for your baby and the social services find out, you really will be at risk of losing them. Go to the GP. Go to a different GP if you prefer. But you absolutely have to do everything by the book. Keep all the records, all the letters, take witnesses, whatever you need to do, but you must not withhold medical care from your child.

Oh dear OP. You sound so stressed pet but honestly and truly you will fly to the top of social services list if you're caught giving an unprescribed, powerful drug/hormone to a small child for an undiagnosed condition.

Please take the advice here on board. You could get in serious trouble if something happened.

I get why you are so scared, I really do because I have been through being falsely accused & SS were involved as a result (in my case over what was later proven to be falsified medical evidence) & it was the most traumatic experience of my life.
I too was waving the proof in their faces & they were very heavy handed then just suddenly walked away.

It is also common in such cases for people to avoid contact with doctors & other professionals due to their experience as a result so I really do get where you are coming from.
I don't think people really understand how terrifying the experience can be unless they have lived through it.

BUT, although personally I am too scared to go to the doctors myself, if my child needed to, I would do it because I'd be more scared of losing him to an untreated illness than I am of the notion of me dying for lack of medical care.

Or you can risk attending your childs funeral if they turn out to have a serious medical problem which goes undetected or improperly treated whilst SS take away any other children.

So yes, YABU to think that you can deal with this by yourself & you know it too, which is why you are posting.

Endofeternity - you can suggest whatever you like - free speech and all.

Just as I can choose the tone of my post.

You must get help for this - if you don’t it will be seen negligent of your child’s health, the first issue with SS was eventually seen as a mistake but they will not overlook you self diagnosing and self medicating a life threatening allergy. You must get help for this go to the GP ASAP

Graphista this is a UK issue so not covered by the American constitution.

OP the majority of posts sound like they understand you fear, but can also see you know the ‘self management’ isn’t right.
You are not alone. Keep records as you have been. Someone suggested taking someone with you to the GPs, that’s a great idea. Do you know anyone calm and able to support you with this? You know you need to start the ball rolling for your youngest. Obviously they can’t just take any parents word for it he has an allergy. From the reaction you describe it’s the type you can test for. That will give you the hard evidence to support your observations.

Will this help op?

Sounds absolutely terrifying. I hope you get some redress for all you went through - and also appropriate medical support for your children. As hard as it is, you have to go to your GP.

It might be worth contacting your MP too.

I'm so sorry you went through all that. Awful

Graphista this is a UK issue so not covered by the American constitution. Think you'll find we have free speech in the uk too.

Springydaff - yes - getting your MP onside is an excellent idea. I've had 2 MP's help a great deal when I had issues with bureaucracy too.

One chivvied the csa along for me.

The other helped me not end up homeless! (Tory too )

I've an ex who at one point seemed to have ss on sodding speed dial!

Very stressful being investigated, at one point because he'd KEPT calling them I think it was a case of they started to think 'no smoke...' And I did feel a bit like my every move was being watched, but ultimately they saw it was spurious allegations (supported in part by GP and dds school) and we were then left alone.

But the main thing is baby is kept safe and healthy and given it sounds likely the baby does have a dangerous allergy to something, that can't happen unless op takes baby to Drs.

Much better to do a preemptive strike rather than have to do a LOT of explaining to a rushed sw in a&e possibly outside GP hours.

What you went through sounds really distressing and hard, but it was ultimately resolved because you hadn't done anything wrong.

If you knowingly deny your child medial attention for a potentially life threatening condition, then you WILL be doing something wrong and they'll come after you with bells on.

Don't become a self-fulfilling prophecy! Even if ss took notice again this time for whatever reason, ultimately it will have to hit a dead end if you have behaved appropriately. Make sure you do, however scary

Yes you are and you know you are. Hiding allergies, using an Epi-pen that's not prescribed and keeping it hush hush is a quick fire way IN to child protection proceedings and you know that it is, so if you want us all to gather round and collude then I'm afraid you won't get that here OP. Now, harsh words over, you've had some good advice here. Get yourself and your little one booked in at the GP surgery and while you're at it get an appointment with your health visitor. Explain what symptoms your little one has that makes you think allergies, and also explain how the previous situation impacted you and makes you afraid - ask for their support. You can't hide allergies for ever - at some point your child will go to nursery, school, a birthday party etc... i.e an environment outside of your control to be able to just avoid allergens, if you don't get your ducks in a row the outcome can be deadly x