To deal with this myself

[allergicProblem]

Backstory is that I was accused of making up allergies and went through hell. It was like Chinese whispers and all involved seemed to be incapable of actually checking properly which would have shown I wasnt lying

Anyway.......my youngest clearly has an allergy but because of what happened I feel like just dealing with it myself. Ordering him a special milk and food, avoiding what he reacts to , I have Epi pens etc anyway so it’s just easier.
My dm says I’m being ridiculous but after what happened nothing would surprise me as it was a total muck up from start to finished
AIBU to just deal with this without any nhs input

I have life threatening allergies. My sons have non life threatening allergies (so far at least - I wasn’t allergic to anything until I was 10).

Social services cannot argue with blood tests and skin prick results. You go to the doctor and say dc1 has x serious allergies, now dc2 has reacted to y - here are photos of the reaction. I want him to have allergy tests.

When the tests are done, get a copy of the results printed and keep it. Hell, take a photo of the skin prick reactions too.

I know it’s hard to trust services when you’ve been let down in the past but it’s absolutely crucial that your child has allergy tests done. They can test for a wide variety of things and safely - you cannot safely trial things at home if there’s a risk of a serious allergy. It also needs to be in his medical records in case he is hospitalised - I was almost killed when my records weren’t checked and I was given a drug suspended in nut oil.

You may be able to avoid the triggers at home, but what are you going to do when your child goes to nursery or school? If you home educate, to be honest with your history that may ring alarm bells in itself.

All you need to do is to tell the GP that your child had that reaction to that food and make a calm request that he be tested for allergies. Then the test results will speak for themselves. I know you've had a bad experience before, but those accusing you of making it up have also been proved wrong before, so will be considerably less willing to make the accusation again.

You will have agency involvement if you give DC unprescribed epipen treatment. Go to a different doctor if necessary but don’t self diagnose and prescribe

They did argue I was constantly showing them the same letters results and care plan and they were taking things further and further it was terrifying
We don’t know where it all originated the report stated ‘concerns’ and the summary was ‘any further issues or referrals and we will need to re investigate to safeguard the children’
I’ve done nothing wrong all I did was ask for help with allergies and it was all done properly and was true. I’m scared if I now go and say my baby had a reaction they will say the same
Eldest allergic to dairy egg fish
Baby reacted v badly to dairy

I’d say you were a gnat’s chuff away from being accused of MBP, honestly.

I had all the proof before. When they said I was like oh look it’s ok here’s all the proof thought that would be it. It wasn’t. I was saying it till I was blue in the face it took weeks and weeks it was like nobody wanted to see the proof it was terrifying and I’d done everything properly
I was being accused of getting attention by lying and I wasn’t lying
So do I go and risk the same again ? I’m scared really scared
What do I say do I be open and say after what happened I’m scared ?

Please take baby to gp buy could you also explain your concerns to them. Is there a particular gp join trust more than others? Or what about your health visitor? As worrying as it is for to with the ss concerns it is better for your lo if go knows of the reaction...

Maybe I should go private then just for tests and then go to the gp ? I will see how much it is just do the one appt I think I would feel slightly better doing it that way
I’m just terrified and have lost trust after what happened

Yes just tell your gp you had no idea why ss got involved last time I don't understand why they did from what you've said? If you have concerns about your baby you have to go to the gp. Or take out private cover as someone else suggested.

1. I would seriously think twice before using your older child’s EpiPen on a younger child - the dosage changes at different ages and you can do your child serious harm.

2. EpiPen is not the be all and end all of treatment for severe allergies - if he has anaphylaxis you cannot just use an EpiPen and that’s it. Any allergic reaction that needs an EpiPen should be seen in an A&E and then you’ll (rightly) face more questions about using DC1s pen on DC2.

3. if you decide to use it and NOT go to A&E how are you going doing to explain refilling DC1s EpiPen after using it on DC2?

I appreciate you’ve been through a lot but you’re not helping your child or keeping him safe with this plan. Go to your GP with an explanation of your concerns and take it from there.

WHO accuses you of lying?

You are definitely BU to not diagnose your baby. This could be dangerous.

It sounds like you went through a terrible time, I went through similar- an unjust alligation in which social services became involved it was frightening & horrible.
I think though that you have to bite the bullet -go to the doctors and get tests for your son - you know what evidence they require now , once you have the correct diagnosis you can put all this behind you or it will keep presenting problems.
Grit your teeth and do it.

Apparently a referral was made (I still don’t know by who)
Ss then spoke to the gp and they made an admin mistake and said they couldn’t see any proof of allergies. They cane to see us and I showed them the proof and called the gp who admitted their mistake. I thought that would be the end of it.
Instead ss said they still wanted to do a full child protection investigation centres around made up allergies. But they are all genuine allergies and I felt nobody listened I sent the letters and care plan to so many and repeatedly said to call the allergy consultant it took weeks to clear up and was an intrusive process where I was treated like a liar

I just feel they left it open ended and if I now go to the gp about another child potentially with allergies will it all start up again it was terribly stressful scary and upsetting and so frustrating

You have to get proper treatment for your child. To do otherwise is negligent.

Social Services/GPs whatever do make mistakes. They can be over vigilant and they can ask questions even when nobody has done anything wrong. I remember making a throw away comment about food once in a doctors surgery and was then asked a very pointed question by the GP who clearly wanted to assure himself that I wasn't starving my child. I didn't take offence: he was just doing his job. SS have to follow up leads. They also make mistakes. It is not a reflection on you.

You need to put your son first and put whatever trauma you suffered behind you. If you have letters from a consultant you have proof that you were making up nothing, and therefore it doesn't matter what anyone says. The GP knows you are telling the truth.

I agree with the poster above: contact the previous consultant and say you are concerned as your son is also showing signs of allergy. If he needs you to be referred by your GP, go to your GP. Bring along the letters relating to your first child. If the GP raises the events of the past, remind the GP that whoever the 'they' was who accused you was proved false. If doing all this makes you extremely anxious then I suggest bringing along a calm friend who can talk and advocate on your behalf. Focus on the goal which is to get proper treatment for your child.

OP as babies, one of the ways we learn is to look for patterns. If I cry, my Mum will feed me. If I smile, an adult will smile back at me etc. The trouble is, we don't always realise as an adult that sometimes there is no pattern. Just because something happens once, doesn't mean it will happen again. I think because you are afraid, you are stuck in child-like thinking. I honestly don't mean that as any sort of insult - it is just something I learned in therapy - that all adults sometimes fall into child-like thinking. I think that your adult-self KNOWS what the right thing to do is, but your child-self is shouting louder at the moment. What your adult-self is telling you will be the voice to listen to.

I hope that makes some kind of sense.

Did you take your baby to the Dr's when he had the allergic reaction?

What sort of reaction did he have

He is violently sick after having anything with dairy in andcoughs and gets hives
Totally avoiding it
When it happened the first time I thought perhaps unwell. Second time realised its the dairy so have anti histamine as it wa sthw weekend and Drs shut, the antihistamine helped

This is how my eldest was but after a few times he would have throat swelling so I’m just totally avoiding dairy for baby atm as remember how bad it got with my eldest

Social services clearly made a mistake but that was realised in the end. I have been involved with social services for completely different reasons and I completely understand why you felt like you were being questioned and not believed - I think after all the recent scandals they have to be quite hard and honestly are so stretched which probably explains why it took so long to clear up the mistake. On the other hand they know they made a mistake and will be careful about making the same mistake again.

On the other hand if you use medicine for one child on another undiagnosed child you will end up with bigger issues. Get the test done privately if you feel safer that way but please get them done.

If you go for a private allergy diagnosis, often the NHS will not "believe" the results.

Also it's possible the private diagnosis will not be in your NHS medical records if there was an incident of allergic reaction and a hospital doctor had to look up your child's notes.

I know you are very upset about what has happened but it sounds as though you really need to take all of the emotion out of the situation and only look at the facts.

From your posts, I think the facts are the NHS have diagnosed your eldest child with several allergies and have prescribed anti allergy medicine for him and have given you a care plan.
Have a copy of that with you when you see the GP.

Shortly afterwards, a NHS professional made a mistake and told other agencies you did not have medical confirmation of the allergies, Do get a copy of this in writing so you can also give it to the GP.

If that's the case, then it should all be cleared up.

Then go back to your GP, see whichever one in the practise is most likely to listen or change GPs if you feel no-one in your current healthcare practice will be impartial enough to give you a fair hearing.

Ask for an urgent allergy test appointment for your youngest child.

In the meantime, could you arrange for someone else to be there - family, friend, neighbour - whenever you feed your youngest child a potential allergen, so that they can be an independent witness to any reaction and could accompany you to A+E.

You really shouldn’t mess about with epi pens and medication not prescribed for your child.
What exactly where you accused of?
Sounds a little Munchausen by proxy to me.

What MsChanandler said. How old is baby and what are you feeding them currently?
Anaphylaxis is a killer and even after an epipen treatment is usually needed. If SS find out you have adminstered an epipen to a child it wasn't prescribed for and that you have not sought medical help for a life threatening condition it could be very bad indeed for all of you. Hives and anaphalactic reactions are easily proven if they have to be. Blood test, pin prick tests and if need be they can adminster small amounts of the allergen in the hospital to check reactions.

Yes that is exactly what happened it has been scary. It was very intense and got to the point I wa ms thinking nobody is listening to me at all and I’m not lying. It has actually made me quite unwell the whole ordeal