3hr round trip with DC 27 degree heat ...AIBU

[Greekyoghurt83]

DH wants to visit his mother and sister at an outdoor venue near them. Takes an 1hr and 30 minutes one way on a very busy and congested motorway. We will then be out all day with DC 18 months and 4. Forecast is 27 degrees. I think they are mad and saying it's not fair on the kids, given the travel and the heat. They are more than welcome to ours. DH thinks i am being unreasonable as they always travel to us ( errr because we have young children). AIBU? WWYD?

YABU. Do you not like your in-laws?

YABU to not do some of the travelling and visiting.

I would've gone without a second thought.

But you could send DH with the DC and you stay at home. Nothing wrong with that.

At the end of the day you know your kids best, but as someone who travelled 4hrs on motorways to visit family in the summer, it wouldn't necessarily be a problem (for me and mine).

What is the outdoor venue? Is it somewhere you want to go, if the temp was lower? Do you enjoy spending time this way with DH's mum/sister? These could all be impacting on your feelings and views.

Having young children doesn’t mean they should always travel to you! Go!

In a car? With air conditioning? I live in a country considerably hotter and sometimes just go out in my car because the air conditioning is so cold. If you are walking or going by horse and cart I’ll change my response, but you sound like you are just looking for flimsy excuses not to go.

I assume your car doesn't have air conditioning? If I don't ask someone else will in a moment....

If it does, I don't see the problem. I'd sooner spend an hour or two in the car than be out in the sun at the moment!

YABU. Don't you have aircon in the car? It's much hotter in many other countries and they manage to leave the house with kids!
I think you're being pretty selfish always expecting them to go to you.

The air conditioning in my car is useless, I hate getting into my car in the baking hot weather, so do my kids. So I don’t think yabu - IF you have rubbish air conditioning in your car.

Yes but that's it we will then be out in the sun all day as not going to their houses. Ok seems like I am being unreasonable so I'll go and try not to moan!

YABU

mine would have been fine with the day out but not coped with a car ride at those ages. can you get the train? x

I don't see why you can't compromise and do some of the travelling. Is there a better venue you could meet them at? Is there no opportunity for shade at all in the proposed place?

I’d just time the journeys in with your youngest’s naptimes and make sure the oldest has enough fluids. They’ll be fine and probably love a change of garden to run around in x

Will there be no shade at all where you are going? I would say YABU. We travel to see family every 6 weeks or so and it's a 6 hour round trip. Family is important to us and I wouldn't expect to sit at home and have everyone trek to us every time just because we have kids.

YANBU... but I am ginger (and have been doing a rain dance for about a week now) and not a fan of trekking my kids around to see people. I do personally think if you have young kids it probably suits most people that they come to you, but what do I know, looks like we're alone in this thinking (also relevant I don't have a car so it's harder for me to get to others than vice versa)

Well done OP for acknowledging YABU. If they usually come to you then it’s good for you to occasionally reciprocate the effort. But don’t just try not to moan, make sure you don’t. 27 degrees is not even that hot, where we live that’s what we consider a summer day cool enough to actually enjoy the outdoors without getting heatstroke so we jump on it and spend all day outside. Just plenty of sun cream on the kids, keep them hydrated and insist on getting them into the shade over lunch time. Blast the a/c in the car for a few minutes before strapping the kid’s back in. Bribe with snacks/cartoons on the iPad if they get stroppy in the car. You never know it might actually be fun!

27 degrees? That's a nice summer's day where I live here; it was 2 deg here this morning, double rugged the dog to take him out for ablutions :D

In 80F heat and with small children I wouldn't be rushing to go to something at an outdoor venue, especially if it involved sitting on a congested motorway to get there.

Unless George Clooney would be waiting for us in a VIP tent stocked with champers, in which case I might reconsider.

If 18mo will nap at the venue and not on the way home instead I'd be ok with it as a one off.

Yeah he probably won't nap at venue...will try my best though

I'd have liked a journey in my car yesterday but then I've just had the aircon filled up - YABU, it would've been hotter doing just about anything else.

I wouodnt have thought twice about it.
But then I’ve also lived in places where 27oC is the norm and life just doesn’t stop.

Im going to assume that you have the air con in the car which will make everything much easier.

Re. Being out. You need to ensure they have plenty of fluids, a hat etc... And I wouod be sure you have on of those ‘umbrellas’ for the pushchair for your youngest (so he can nap in the ‘shade’).
I suspect your IL and DH will want to be in the shade too and unwilling to do anything too strenuous anyway.

If you have air con the car is the best place to be right now.

YANBU.