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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

3hr round trip with DC 27 degree heat ...AIBU

81 replies

Greekyoghurt83 · 10/07/2018 21:05

DH wants to visit his mother and sister at an outdoor venue near them. Takes an 1hr and 30 minutes one way on a very busy and congested motorway. We will then be out all day with DC 18 months and 4. Forecast is 27 degrees. I think they are mad and saying it's not fair on the kids, given the travel and the heat. They are more than welcome to ours. DH thinks i am being unreasonable as they always travel to us ( errr because we have young children). AIBU? WWYD?

OP posts:

SinkGirl · 10/07/2018 22:16

We took our twins to a family member’s house for a bbq weekend before last - it was only a 40 minute drive and we could shelter inside their house when the heat was too much but they still really struggled. Our car doesn’t have working air con, and car seats are so hot and sweaty, and one of them really really struggled with the heat while we were there. We aren’t taking them in the car unless it’s critical at the moment, and making sure they’re indoors between 11 and 3 every day. DH and I both really struggle with the heat too so they’ve probably got it from us.

emmyrose2000 · 11/07/2018 03:36

YABU

BradleyPooper · 11/07/2018 03:41

It's 38C here (normal summer) and I did a 6 hour round trip for a day out last week. Do you not have a/c in your car?

BoomBoomsCousin · 11/07/2018 04:14

If your car doesn't have A/C then YANBU. But otherwise, I think it's quite manageable and it seems unreasonable to have expected them to do all the travelling up to this point.

Outdoor venues can be trying in the heat, but they can also be great if you're prepared. Think about what's available there and make use of it - If there's water, take a change of clothes for the kids (just in case) and let them play in it, if it's somewhere you can set up on the grass then take some kind of pop-up shade tent, if there's likely to be ice-cream plan on buying it, etc. Slather on the suncream and don't forget to top up, wear sun hats, make sure you have plenty of water, maybe a spritzer bottle, and so on. Take it easy and enjoy the lovely summer.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 11/07/2018 04:23

27 degrees really isn't that hot. Over 30 and you might have a point.
Just take plenty of water and shade for the kids (and you of course!), preferably hats/ parasols and sunscreen, and you'll be fine.

Monty27 · 11/07/2018 04:29

Come on op. Cold drinks, books music.
It's not actually that long.
Sunhats and shade. It really isn't a Biggie.

PenelopeFlintstone · 11/07/2018 04:44

Make a deal with your DH that you don't go this time but he takes the kids, and he doesn't have to go next time you visit your side of the family. Win-win.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 11/07/2018 04:44

YABU

But I’m in Australia and my kids did a triathlon when it was 43 so I may not be the person you want opinions from!

It was 25 here on Friday and we’re in the middle of winter!

I can see where you’re coming from though if you’re not used to the hot weather Plenty of ice water bottles, hats & sunscreen and try and stick to the shade. Good luck!

hodgeheg92 · 11/07/2018 04:47

You're using it as an excuse not to see your in laws (is what I suspect your DH will be thinking)

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/07/2018 04:59

If your children cannot be in the shade for some of the time and during the hottest time of the day YANBU. Can you buy a sun tent thing? This still will be baking in the sun but at least will provide shade. Bottom line out all day in the heat is too much. 2/3 hours is probably ok. Then inside somewhere. I would never have taken my dd out in the blazing sun all day at that age.

thewayoftheplatypus · 11/07/2018 07:09

Only you know your kids, how they will respond to the weather, and the suitability or the venue. Is there an indoors cafe? Trees you could sit under for shade?

We went to legoland on Saturday with DCs 2 and 5. It was a 3 hour drive each way and 32 degrees when we were there. In the car we alternated between turning on our rubbish air con and opening all the windows. The kids were smothered in lotion, had hats and sunglasses and covered with long but thin tees.

We made sure to spend plenty of time out of th sun when we could (choosing indoor ride lines for the heat of the day for example and eating our picnic under a shady tree). I was hot and sticky, but they both coed beautifully and had a great day!

I would research the venue and see if there is anywhere they can be out of the sun for small breaks. And unless they are car sick/not used to driving, I wouldn’t be too worried about what is a relatively short journey time x

Fluffyrainbows · 11/07/2018 07:17

I would think twice but our air con is broken and unfixable, so the car is hideous and no escape from the heat. I'm also heavily pregnant. We have a van as well but that has no air con. If the roads tend to keep moving maybe but if traffics bad, maybe not.
The poster above who did a 6 hour round trip to legoland, well I take my hat off to you. I may have risked it on a school day but not a Saturday!!! Sounds like a nightmare!

Ansumpasty · 11/07/2018 07:25

I don’t see the issue here...put the ac on or roll the windows down? It’s 27 degrees...not exactly making them walk through the desert?
It’s also not a very long car journey?

Lovemusic33 · 11/07/2018 07:42

YABU, we travel further than this most weekends, the kids are outside for a few hours and then we travel back, I don’t have air con, I do have windows and we take lots of water. A hour and a half each way is nothing.

Pickleypickles · 11/07/2018 07:46

It wouldn't be the journey it wpuld be the actual event i was worried about, Is there shade there? I took dd to an outdoor thing on Sunday but it was just in some fields with no shade, she lasted about two hours befire becoming a nightmare because of the heat and we had to go home.

Basta · 11/07/2018 07:46

DH thinks i am being unreasonable as they always travel to us ( errr because we have young children).

Errr, didn't realise children weren't portable. How old is your mum who is being expected to do all the travelling?

obviousNC101 · 11/07/2018 07:49

Yabu and very entitled. If I was your family I'd stop bothering to see you

londonrach · 11/07/2018 07:49

Yabu and abit selfish and i say that as someone who doesnt have air con in the car. I just open the windows. Ive alot further as a child to see family and also as a adult. Its life.

SoyDora · 11/07/2018 07:51

YABU, as long as they will have some opportunity for shade in the day (indoor cafe etc). The car journey I wouldn’t think twice about though.

I do think this...

DH thinks i am being unreasonable as they always travel to us ( errr because we have young children)

Is a bit unreasonable and previous. We lived 3 hours from family and friends until our oldest was 3 and we still visited them as always, just factored in regular breaks. Children are portable.

CrackerCrisp · 11/07/2018 07:54

We did two hours drive on the weekend, spent all day out then drove the two hours back again, with two DC. There’s no reason your in laws should always visit you just because you have children, that’s not very fair.

French2019 · 11/07/2018 07:56

As others have said, 27 really isn't that hot, and if you open the windows/turn on the AC, the journey should be fine. It's not like your youngest is a newborn baby.

If the venue is all outside and has no shade, then you may have a point. Could you suggest a nearby alternative? If there is shade, I don't really see the problem.

MarthasGinYard · 11/07/2018 07:58

You sound fun

MarthasGinYard · 11/07/2018 08:00

'DH thinks i am being unreasonable as they always travel to us ( errr because we have young children). AIBU? WWYD?'

Your DH is right

They are probably bored of always travelling to you and have had a lovely idea to which you have to put in a little effort.

Lotsofdigestives · 11/07/2018 08:01

I wouldn’t fancy it tbh, but MN will tell you you’re being U. I find the heat really tiring, yes, even 27 degrees and adding into that two young children, I wouldn’t be keen at all.

likeacrow · 11/07/2018 08:02

And the award for most overused MN phrase of the week award goes to... "children are portable".

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP. It's you that'll have to deal with the consequences of hot, tired and cranky kids. You know them, we don't.

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