3hr round trip with DC 27 degree heat ...AIBU

[Greekyoghurt83]

DH wants to visit his mother and sister at an outdoor venue near them. Takes an 1hr and 30 minutes one way on a very busy and congested motorway. We will then be out all day with DC 18 months and 4. Forecast is 27 degrees. I think they are mad and saying it's not fair on the kids, given the travel and the heat. They are more than welcome to ours. DH thinks i am being unreasonable as they always travel to us ( errr because we have young children). AIBU? WWYD?

Two awards...

Op, do you usually stay indoors all weekend or do you go for days out as a family? I don't think we've spent a single weekend at home (youngest is 19mo) for weeks. Sun cream, hats, loads of water, head for the shade as much as possible. Yes, dd in particular gets a bit crabby as the day, and the heat, wears on - I know little ones can struggle to cope in heat. But you just go well prepared with shelter if possible (we have a light weight small beach tent and parasol in case there's little shade). I think the car journey will be fine, particularly if you have air con. If not, I assume you'll be setting off quite early and returning in the evening when it's cooler. I don't think it's unreasonable to travel to meet your in laws, especially if they normally travel to you. What kind of outdoor venue is it? Has it been chosen because it's suitable for children?

I wouldn't do it. Don't care. Too hot.

We had 3 DC and we would not have thought twice about it, in a car with air conditioning!

In fact, to go and see our parents, was a 6 hour round trip for the weekend! As for being in the sun all day - sun hats, sun cream.....? Lots of people take their children on holiday to the Med or Florida, where there are those kinds of temperatures, without a second thought?

You were too hasty, you're NBU at all. It doesn't matter whether some people think 90 mins drive and/or 27 degrees are morning much. Your kids aren't used to it and thus are at risk of being too hot, whiny, over tired etc, ruining their own days and yours. Not least because, if you're driving 1.5 hours, they're presumably going to be out in it for at least some of the hottest part of the day.

If the balance of travelling hasn't been 'fair' until now and your DH feels this needs fixing, by all means take steps to rectify it. Don't start with a 3 hour round trip to somewhere outdoors in a heatwave though. That's just asking for trouble.

27ºC isn't that hot, even for the UK.

This may only be my DS but check they are not scared of the windows down! We have no aircon and DS was very scared of the noise/wind with the windows down in the moterway the other week.

(we kept having to alternate boiling car or crying toddler!)

It is quite a bit hotter than most summer days are in the UK.

Is there any particular reason you can’t travel to their home?

If “outdoor venue” means a long car ride, then hours in the heat without reprieve, then ANOTHER car ride? Hell no.

I get that alternating travel might be fair, but to have your turn to drive be met with them “hosting” in a hot public place, not remotely fair. If husband thinks it’s a super idea, 100% you feel free to stay home.

I think its important for children in the uk to get used to doing stuff when its hot and when its cold, otherwise they turn into whinging adults who get hysterical about completely normal temperatures

I'd go. Air con in the car and there must be places at the venue to rest, to eat and just generally stay out of the sun?

Why does everyone assume that everyone else has air conditioning in their cars?

Why can your turn to visit the IL have to be on one of the few hot days? 27 degrees may not seem very hot to some, but I wouldn't be able to deal with it outdoors.

For me the big question is how much shade is at the venue. It only a bit and don’t have large parasol or something the YANBU. If loads of shade or can take your own then you should probably go.

I knew this thread was going to be about a visit to the in laws before I even opened it, just by the title. If you were going somewhere you wanted to go, a three hour round trip in 27 degree heat wouldn’t even factor...you’d just get on with it.
So on that basis yabu.

27 degrees is a rather abnormal temperature in much of the UK. To the extent that even if you insist your children go out and do things every time it ever gets that hot and never waste a single second of it by not doing things, there's simply no guarantee it will happen enough for them to get used to it.

The average temperature for July in the uk is between 18 and 22 degrees. And that's on a good summer. So ignore people saying 27 isn't even that hot.

Travel earlier in the day, aircon in car if you have it, and shade when you get there. I think if they always come to you it's fair that you go for a change.

I mean really - it’s a journey to something an hour and a half away in the summer, that’s all.
Only when it involves the in laws does it become a ‘3 hour round trip in 27 degree heat’.
Sounds much more offputting when it’s presented like that eh?

'Only when it involves the in laws does it become a ‘3 hour round trip in 27 degree heat’.'

Can't help but agree with this

Yabu - I travel 2hrs (each way) once a moth with a 18mo and a 3 yo. If s worth it to see family. I would not dream of them if coming to me every time just because I have children (that’s a poor excuse)

It would be a round trip of 3 hours in 27 degree heat regardless of what it involved. The idea that this wouldn't be a problem were it not for the in laws is an invention.

DH thinks i am being unreasonable as they always travel to us ( errr because we have young children).

You havent visited them because you have kids? How bizarre. Havent you taken your kids out to places for 4 years?
Unless i am missing a huge backstory your dh is correct.

As long as you are sensible about shade etc etc they will be fine. They will love the novelty of going to see gps and being out and about somewhere new. I assume the place you are going to has child friendly stuff too?

As long as you are all sensible about the sun/heat you might even find yourself enjoying it😉

Send dh with the four year old, you have a relatively relaxing day pootling near your home and enjoy the nap time.

Never mind the lack of air con in my car there's no way I would bother with 90mins on a busy stretch of motorway to a popular outdoor type place, as the world and his wife will likely be doing the same.

I don't think YABU, but other people are clearly basking in the heat and humidity.

@pictish

I knew this thread was going to be about a visit to the in laws before I even opened it, just by the title. If you were going somewhere you wanted to go, a three hour round trip in 27 degree heat wouldn’t even factor...you’d just get on with it.

I wouldn't go anywhere that required a three hour round trip, then an all-day outdoor event, with children, whether in laws were involved or not. I envy those who'd enjoy it, but I wouldn't be able to deal with the heat, and would worry about shade for the small children.

Thanks everyone, we are in the south east so it's a trip round the M25 and then to a busy venue. If I knew the roads would be clear I wouldn't mind so much. Congestion In a hot car to then a hot busy outdoor place. We had visited the in laws before but as other people have said it's the the fact that it is hot for the little ones. Also I am not shy of hot weather etc but it's bei sensible with it that's all. Just didn't think it's unreasonable to ask they come to us this time and we visit them in September