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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO have punched DH?

91 replies

BrownTrowsers · 10/07/2018 11:50

Last night in bed I was dozing off, almost asleep when DH turned suddenly and elbowed me in the kidney area. It REALY hurt and he does this quite a lot. I screamed out and he apologised and gave it a rub. I was fuming but tried to get back to sleep. A while later he did it again but elbowed me in the back. I instinctively shocked awake and punched him full force in the ribs. He shouted at me that it was an accident yet I'd purposely assaulted him. I shouted at him that he'd hurt me twice within the hour and he does it often. He needs to be more careful! Anyway he's not talking to me. I didn't think, I just punched him instinctively as a defence thing. WIBU?

OP posts:
TokenBritPoshOfCourse · 10/07/2018 11:51

You need separate bedrooms.

Nicknacky · 10/07/2018 11:52

Yes you ware totally being unreasonable. Sleep seperately if he thrashes about in his sleep, don’t deliberately punch someone.

CalishataFolkart · 10/07/2018 11:52

Is he asleep when he elbows you?

BitOutOfPractice · 10/07/2018 11:52

Why does he elbow you hard so often

Original poster
BrownTrowsers · 10/07/2018 11:52

No he was awake

OP posts:
Sweetpea55 · 10/07/2018 11:53

Get twin beds

Titsywoo · 10/07/2018 11:54

Get a bigger bed

HoleyCoMoley · 10/07/2018 11:54

If he is doing this in his sleep it's out of his control, he can't help it. He could see his Dr for advice and maybe have a sleep study done. In the meantime separate beds. Apologise.

Celebelly · 10/07/2018 11:54

This sounds bizarre. Why are you punching and elbowing each other? Are you in a single bed?

Shoxfordian · 10/07/2018 11:54

He was awake both times? It sounds like you need separate bedrooms or a super king size bed. Also don't punch people.

Original poster
BrownTrowsers · 10/07/2018 11:55

It's a king size bed!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 10/07/2018 11:55

If he's awake, why does he do it?

I attempted to sleep with my husband recently and he kept kneeing me in the backside hard and rolling on me in his sleep. Reminded me why I love my own bedroom. If that's not possible then maybe twin beds?

Celebelly · 10/07/2018 11:56

We got a Super King when we moved house and it's amazing. Not that I ever got elbowed or punched my DP. But we have so much space now. I can starfish and still be on my side.

Emma198 · 10/07/2018 11:56

Mine is clumsy like that when he's half asleep. I get annoyed but he's sorry and doesn't mean it. I'd never intentionally punch him in the ribs.

NameChangeUni · 10/07/2018 11:56

Jesus. Separate bedrooms please.

GodivaEater · 10/07/2018 11:58

Why is he elbowing you if he is awake???

FranticallyPeaceful · 10/07/2018 11:58

Super king sized bed. Never even touch my DP unintentionally anymore as it’s huge

Then again, given you punched him and he elbows you so often - may I suggest separate houses? Grin

TheGoldenWolfFleece · 10/07/2018 11:59

Why's he elbowing you if he's awake?

ToothTrauma · 10/07/2018 12:01

Get a super king. DH used to roll on my hair or I used to accidentally knee him in the groin but now we have tons of space and love it!

Elementtree · 10/07/2018 12:02

If this is a reflex then I think he is being melodramatic talking about assault. But, I do think it's odd, if it's your natural instinct to punch out, how this is the first time it happened when he does this to you all the time?

Anyway, if he is awake and does this regularly, he's not taking any care not to hurt you.

I think separate beds is your only solution here.

Sparkletastic · 10/07/2018 12:04

I've shared a bed with DH for 18 years and he has never accidentally elbowed or kicked me once. I'd be very suspicious of a man that was incapable of sharing a bed with a woman without hurting her. Particularly if that man wasn't asleep when he did it.

Magicstar1 · 10/07/2018 12:05

This exact thread was on here a few weeks ago...

gorgeoushazydaysofsummer · 10/07/2018 12:06

Why is he elbowing you when awake? I would suggest separate beds. All sounds very odd.

If he was awake, and he does this regularly, you WNBU to punch him back.

Vandree · 10/07/2018 12:07

We have a super king bed because dh is prone to getting handsy and/or acts out his dreams if he feels me close to him. I even put a pillow between us because it can get really annoying and have kicked him before when I have woken in a fright (or out of extreme exhaustion and annoyance). He is genuinely asleep though and has no idea what he is doing and its usually times when he is very stressed.

Why in the world would your dh be elbowing you when he is awake though?! Get him to lie on his side on the far side and put a pillow between you. If he crosses it and elbows you again then I would punch him too to be honest, its not like he is doing it in his sleep. Better yet get separate beds or rooms, my SIL swears she sleeps so much better now her snoring husband is 2 rooms away

FASH84 · 10/07/2018 12:07

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Get one of these they unzip into a snakelike barrier. I do love our super king-size bed, don't know how we managed without it for so long, DH is 6'4 and fidgety

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