...to be really upset and anxious by how my son defied me?

[PukkaLovetea]

My 7 year old pushed for Minecraft. I hate games, we have been very controlled about the use of them. But i realise that I can't abstain, so we both decided on Minecraft - which, while looking into it, I thought was creative and the best of the bunch.

He goes on the ipad at the weekend, for a controlled period. He's been super excited and we've encouraged it. He's been reading the books etc.

At the beginning we talked about playing solo, ALL THE DANGERS of ONLINE STRANGERS.

He's very smart. He gets it. We were very, very clear.

To cut a long story short, we found out tonight he's been texting others while playing...

He immediately confessed when asked.

I feel really upset and fucked off. The consequence has to be - for now at least - no Minecraft as he can't be trusted. We've had a HUGE conversation about why it's an important rule.

But I don't know how angry to be or how worried.

He's so fucking defiant. It drives me nuts.

OP just turn off the wifi while he is on the ipad/tablet

Zombie

There are other topics you could have used for your thread. People always get arsey on Aibu but it does get more traffic

Why be so worried about talking to others online? I believe that helps children create strong long lasting relationships even if they can't speak face to face.

@PukkaLovetea I notice that you feel a lack of control, as we all do when it comes to video games. Adding a chat feature to the mix does increase stress, but in Minecraft there is really no risk unless your child gives out personal information.

Regardless, the way I deal with this is by allowing them to play games with the caveat that they are not allowed to have wifi enabled.

NOTE!!! You can AND SHOULD set parental settings on most any device to disable wifi. It is not the responsibility of the child to mediate his own wifi usage, because children by definition cannot be trusted with that responsibility. Especially at his age. Do not take your anger out on him for not being able to moderate himself at age 7.

Use what agency you have to adjust the device settings, then let him play on his own. This way you set clear boundaries and establish trust and forgiveness.

Thebelt, this thread is almost a year old. I imagine the op no longer needs advice...

@marvinmarvinson

Just learning how to use this, when I selected All Discussions I assumed they would be sorted by date. I've already posted a ton, so that's embarrassing

Minecraft is ok for a 7 year old imo however the messaging needs to stop. He should be banned for now and try again when more mature.

Sounds like you've got a decent handle on it, OP. Kids can be headstrong, think of it in a positive way - when he's 18+ I doubt he'll ever be a pushover!

Keep doing what you're doing, maybe let him play on a desktop if that allows disabling of the chat function.

I didn’t read anything you put as overreacting or a screamy etc. There’s always someone desperate to twist the knife.
My kids are past the minecraft age so things might have changed but they used to just play it in creative mode and make their own worlds.
I also don’t see how a 7 year old going behind your back online is different to one lying over something else eg eating sweets when you talked about not doing so. He knows what he’s done so you’re justified in being cross with him after you talked about it so much.

If it is minecraft mobile edition he can play creative and survival without internet. You can choose to add friends with consultation with other parents etc. If you want him to play with people he knows in real life and they can be private. For example, my sons play each other but not other people.

Oh dear you seem to be in a sticky situation here. My ds daniel plays minecraft with me if u go on a normal world then join him then only people on your wifi or data hotspot can join you unless your dealing with xbox account. I personly play it on a suvivil world with my ds dan just to be safe hes currently 6 approching 7 we have made screen time a moniterd thing but were calm about it in their genoration its sooooo easy for them to turn into cyborgys good luck. Im of. Now to read a book bye now xxxwhat is a roblox????

Op, ignore the people giving you a hard time. I would also say though that you should try not to get too angry. I am guilty of this myself and I now have a very difficult teenager. Maybe praise your son for telling you the truth. Change your tone from angry to warm but firm. Convey that he made a mistake but that you can move on. Agree some more rules with him about the use (with you supervising him more).

He made a mistake, he is allowed to make more of them than you are as he is a child. Try not to convey that that you are too angry. Tell him the new rules and implement them calmly and warmly. Do not get too angry or he will learn that he can't admit things to you because of your reaction.

He almost certainly knows he has done the wrong thing, he is looking to you to help him deal with that feeling of having done wrong

I feel sorry for your son. My son is 7 and Minecraft is is one of his favourite things.

It is trivial to play Minecraft offline, and indeed, for you to lock it down so that he can only play it solo.

You've banned your son from playing with electronic lego.

Z o m b i e T h r e a d ... Z o m b i e T h r e a d ... Z o m b i e T h r e a d ... Z o m b i e T h r e a d

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Z o m b i e T h r e a d ... Z o m b i e T h r e a d ... Z o m b i e T h r e a d ... Z o m b i e T h r e a d

I let my DS chat whilst playing on Fifa since he was 12 only with his school friends in the living room where I can wonder in and out but he's 13 and is well aware that if chats with strangers he's banned.
Also the situation is different as he's playing football and they build teams they don't want strangers joining in.
Seven is way too young to leave unsupervised as he won't be aware of internet safety plus won't have school friends to play online with.

OP
You just seem a very angry person..

I love how the op says controlled when she means controlling

Sorry but how has he been texting at 7 years old.?.He is clearly being left unattended on this game which is not right ,how does he text ? Surely he doesn't have a phone?!

Oh on the chat on the iPad?
He's 7, just disable it ???

If you couldn't work out that you hadn't disabled online messaging how do you expect a 7 year old to understand what parts of the game he can use if he expected you to have disabled the bits he isn't allowed to use.

You need to calm down. He doesn't sound defiant, he sounds 7

sorry just seen it's a zombie thread

YANBU No way would I let a 7 year old game online, seriously negligent parenting imo. If my rules were broken there would be a long ban with one chance only before permanent ban.