Marrying a monster!

[devastatedtonight]

Sorry for posting here for traffic. I need a hand hold. We’ve been planning our wedding for six months, together four years. Had our ups and downs, he can be nasty and angry but so can I.

Tonight he’s said stuff there’s no going back from. Apparently I gave him a deadline to marry me, he’s angry he doesn’t have an engagement gift, I don’t pay him rent (he doesn’t pay rent he has a house fully paid for from an inheritance), when I moved in I offered to pay and he didn’t want to take it. He has two children and I’ve always paid half towards everything, so I don’t think I’m freeloading. He has wealthy parents and a lot of money in the bank, we were going halves on the wedding and I had to get a large bank loan.

He’s said his daughter hates me. Shouted the most awful names to me.

Sorry I’m waffling. I’ve walked out and am sat in my car. He won’t answer his phone now. I’m not in a good place.

devastated how are you this morning?

Are you sorting out somewhere to live?

Hope you're OK, sounds like you've dodged a bullet.

Thinking of you this morning, pet - please take the advice everyone's given you on here, walk, keep walking, and don't look back. As someone said, you haven't dodged a bullet, you've dodged a cannonball. l wish l'd done that - it'd have saved me 11 years of pain. Be brave x

Thanks so much everyone, i'm feeling a little numb and out of it this morning. I'm at work which is a huge distraction. I will start to look for somewhere to live when I can muster some straight thought together. I hardly got a wink of sleep last night so surviving on coffee this morning. Thanks for all your support, it's amazing. xx

Thinking of you op

You are strong and amazing! Be kind to yourself and do what's right for you, you don't need to take his nonsense into account any more, life will get easier.

OP, maybe someone at work could help you with temporary lodgings. Having your own space will help.

Expecting his wife to be to give him rent and even been offered you say and refused to take it yet moans about it? + horribly abusive, he sounds like a fucking idiot, hope you end things with him then.

Wedding off if you have, a grain of sense. Poor children. Lose him

OP, cut yourself free of this man. You've given him enough of your life already, and if he's like this now, I promise he won't get any better. Walk away and don't look back. You deserve so much more than the misery marriage to a man like him will bring you (trust me on that one)

Hope you’re ok tonight x

View at least three places before picking one. Take a friend with you, non connected to your partner. Someone from work you can confide in maybe.

@AlphaBravo

View at least three places before picking one.

Have I wandered into the wrong thread?

All the support your way. You're being very strong getting into work. That's fantastic, just think of him thinking he has destroyed your life/ Will be sobbing into your pillow while you've dug deep and got on X It's a clear message you're in charge of this leave taking. Well done OP.
How is it going with cancelling/selling of wedding stuff? Recoup all you can. Fortunately his attitude means no sentiment will remain attached to things. Any jewelry he's given you? Sell it all.

Don't know if this has been asked already but do you not have wedding insurance?

@knowledgeofnone

I don't think wedding insurance matters when the bride or groom has decided to not go ahead. That is not covered.

Hi OP, if you have any loan leftover can you pay it back without an early re payment penalty? If not can you use it as a deposit for a house/rental property?

I second selling the engagement to pay off some debt BTW.
Screw him.