AIBU to withdraw DS from nursery after DSD treated horribly over work experience?

[TightlineTina]

Hey everyone...

I'm just after some advice really.

DSD was due to start work experience next week at DS2 nursery. She went there on Friday as instructed by her contact to have an induction there and was basically told to get lost. The owner was rude to her, humiliated her and then marched her out of the door. She said she had never heard of her, patronized her then dismissed her out of the door saying she had a business to run.

The kid is devastated.

I've been using the nursery for years at considerable expense and I am quite upset at the way she has been treated.

This was a placement she had sorted out herself without mentioning me or DH as she wanted to achieve it on her own.

She has had letters from the nursery confirming her place and has had conversations with them numerous times on the phone. Her contact who told her to go in was on holiday so she wasn't there either.

I have offered to ring the nursery tomorrow to find out why she was treated that way and see if it was just a mix up. DSD said she will not go there for work experience anyway now as she would be too uncomfortable and has also said it has put her off working in any nursery in the future.

DSD is a lovely girl and my heart breaks for her. She is quite shy and it took a lot for her to do this on her own and now her confidence is shattered to pieces. She had been and bought herself all new clothes for this and now has to go to school all week instead.

So....AIBU to withdraw DS over this...a miscommunication I could totally understand but DSD is not prone to overdramatics and is clearly very upset about it all.

All advice totally welcome and appreciated

Ah OK obviously different across UK I'm NI here it is over 10 in childminders family as we think it is ridiculous that an 11 year old has to have it done.

Well done for getting it sorted OP. I can see why you'd have been unclear when you first posted - I'd think you were emotional and cross. I would have been.
Hope your DSD has a great week there.

I am so glad you worked it out, OP! That is wonderful.

I thought you got your point across very well, but were easily made to feel like you should be apologetic and thankful, when people were jumping on you.

I just wanted you to feel more sure of yourself and assertive, really...

Really pleased she ended up going :) would have been rubbish for her confidence if she'd just left it.

That's great, I'm glad she doesn't have to miss her work experience!

Good that it's all ended well

I'd still like to know the answer to the question I asked yesterday, and that other posters have also asked since, about why she didn't show the letters she said she had received, to the manager, though.

Sorry backforgood...I must have missed it

She didn't take it with her so had no proof. She did offer to go and get it but was a bit flustered by it all in the end. I think she has definitely learnt some lessons...first one being that some people are more brusque than others and second one being TAKE YOUR LETTER OF CONFIRMATION WITH YOU!

She said her day was nice in the end and she enjoyed it who knows what tomorrow will bring!

Back why keep on questioning, no mystery to this as far as I'm concerned, DSD probably didn't think she needed to bring them with her. My son went off to his work experience with no problem, I never thought that he would need some sort of starting letter, the company he went to were professional and expected him.

So glad it's sorted and SD enjoyed her first day!

I never thought that he would need some sort of starting letter, the company he went to were professional and expected him.

It’s so funny my how perceptions differ. I would consider it to appear more professional and organised to present the letter on arrival. But I can see it from both sides. I certainly would have it with me ‘just in case’.