Smoking during pregnancy

[Geordiegirl1988]

I know it's probably none of my business but my friend smokes between 15-20 a day and is pregnant . Should I say anything or keep my thoughts to myself on this subject ? She says it's her only vice and has gave up drinking so why shud she give up the tabs ? I have resisted giving her my thoughts as I don't know if I should say anything as I don't want to over step the mark . I get it's an emotive topic but I can't help but feel 15-20 cigarettes a day is bad for her unborn baby .

Next time she mentions her smoking send her to www.whyquit.com.

There are lots of quit smoking threads on aibu too.

Well that’s just speculation. Research is funded. Funded by people who have a vested interest in the outcome.

And you do know researchers have to declare all funding and interests when submitting to peer-reviewed journals, don't you?

But if you're actually calling scientific research 'speculation' - well, I'm a bit lost for words, tbh. Any scientists want to take over?

My mother smoked all throughout her pregnancy with me. I was born with a heart defect and was very small.

If a woman wants to terminate a pregnancy within the allotted timeframe, fine. Going ahead with a pregnancy doing things you know will harm your unborn child, with dangerous and potentially fatal consequences, just makes you a fucking feckless idiot.

Sounds like she’s lying to herself to justify continuing smoking. Honestly if she was a good friend, next time she lights up or says ‘why should I give up?’ I’d say ‘because it’s very harmful to your baby, I know you know this, I also know giving up smoking is very hard, what can I do to support you?’

I gave up a decade ago. Years before TTC. Yes it’s tough, but my word it’s worth it.

My mother smoked all throughout her pregnancy with me. I was born with a heart defect and was very small.

My DSis never smoked and her daughter was born with the same problems. I hate this demonising of smokers. People moan on here that they become “public property” when pregnant. Well if you want people to butt out then butt out of others pregnancies! Smoking isn’t some “free pass” to berate pregnant women.

Yes, I totally 100% judge people who smoke in pregnancy. If you can’t or won’t give up then don’t get pregnant, simply as.

Some people don't deserve to be parents.

smoking isn’t some “free pass” to berate pregnant women.
Don't try to play victim. You know exactly what you are talking about.

Ultimately statistics are manipulated to support certain goals

interested to know what goal you think pretending smoking was harmful would achieve.

Most people don’t smoke around children anymore

complete rubbish. Thousands of people still smoke around their children. People who smoke in their homes smoke around their children .

And yet still people claim that smoking around children causes asthma? That doesn’t add up

there's more than one cause. Smoking is most definitely one cause. No doubt. It's not just supported by statistical research its supported by scientific research. It's proven.

Victim? My kids are adults. It matters not one jot to me. But people get ridiculous, like you “some people don’t deserve to be parents” really? So all the parents that abuse their kids, sexually, physically, mentally, they’re all smokers are they? Christ, there’s far worse things that can be done, and are done, to children every single day. Get on your high horse about those people!

Who would benefit from manipulating statistics to link smoking to childhood asthma though? I mean, I agree that this happens - I've seen research saying that breastfeeding is a waste of time, funded by formula companies - but I don't see who would profit from it in this case?

there’s far worse things that can be done, and are done, to children every single day.
So that is your baseline. Why?

So all the parents that abuse their kids, sexually, physically, mentally, they’re all smokers are they?

No doubt I’ll get flamed, but I would argue smoking whilst pregnant is physical abuse.

Smoking in pregnancy is indeed child abuse.

Like a pp said, she did everything “right” and sadly lost her baby and passed two smoking mothers who probably had perfectly healthy babies. That is very sad and I feel for her. Smoking in pregnancy is not child abuse or social services would be involved with every smoking mother.

There is a lot of evidence that antenatal smoking is damaging to both mother and child. I don't think that can be questioned. You would have to be either very disconnected from the world or very limited in understanding to not know it is harmful.

Why is the whole world of scientific work and data out there not enough to convince you?
Why should the damage be totally visible to your eyes for you to believe it? What if the mutations you pass to your unborn baby affect the children of that baby down the line? Do you have the scientific background to challenge the doctors on everything they talk about? Do social services have the capacity to work on every child in every possible way? When the doctor comes in to say we have to do an emergency c-section to keep the baby safe, you would go for it definitely. Why is the doctor not right about smoking? Or drinking? Or any other addiction in pregnancy?

I'm not sure asthma can be directly linked to smoking as my nephew has severe asthma (been in itu twice ) and no one in our family or his fathers family smokes

I agree she obviously knows the dangers but being someone who quit smoking when falling pregnant it does infuriate me when I see pregnant women smoking, or smoking near children.
I don't know about saying something, it could ruin a friendship and she would still smoke.

The fact is you cannot decide what is “child abuse”. There are clear guidelines in place. If a pregnant woman is a drug addict then yes social services are involved and a plan is put in place. People can be non smokers and still be shit parents. There are bigger issues around what interventions there should be, where limited funding should go etc. If smoking was that harmful do you not think it would have been made more of a priority? That is your proof right there.

Geordiegirl1988
It takes decades for science to figure out a link between cause and effect. Asthma is not caused by just one thing. Just as being a couch potato and eating junk food affect how such people tend to be more obese, smoking predisposes your child, AND the subsequent generations most likely (as the genetic mutations transfer to their progeny), to serious health conditions. These conditions include diseases like cancer and asthma.

Honestly everybody knows smoking in pregnancy is bad. She knows that and you know that. What's the point of saying something?

She will find out the hard way when her baby has a low birth weight/asthma/excema or other smoking related things.

But it's not your business so personally I wouldn't say anything.

@Geordiegirl1988

That’s my point, on the last “smoking while pregnant” thread I read on here, a lot of people linked smoking to things like childhood asthma. My point is it’s not that clear cut. Your friend knows about the risks and she’s decided to continue. Her choice 100%

I have friends who make other choices about things that I may not agree with but they are my friends so they remain my friends. It’s great you are willing to support her if she wants to give up. But don’t stop being her friend because of over the top responses on here.

She will find out the hard way when her baby has a low birth weight/asthma/excema or other smoking related things.

The poor child will find out the hard way, more pertinently.