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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wedding day....England are playing?????

910 replies

arghhhhhhh · 04/07/2018 15:11

Just been on fb and someone I know (though not well and I am nit invited to the wedding!) is getting married on Saturday. Obviously England are playing.

She has it a status on saying she has had multiple requests from guests wanting to know if the football will be shown.

Her status basically says she's angry at the messages she's had and under no circumstances will the football be shown. It's her wedding and the day is about that and that only. She's asked that no one checks their phones during the match and is even going to have a sign made for when people enter the venue as a reminder it's a football free zone.

Now she's had a fair few comments - a couple even say they wouldn't attend if they were invited due to her attitude.

What's everyone's opinions?

Me personally, I'd show it! I love football though, I've followed the World Cup through out and I'd be gutted if I couldn't watch it! I'd be making arrangements with the venue to make sure it's on.

The atmosphere would be amazing. I'd be jumping around with everyone else in my dress.....

Also a great way to break up the day. The day goes so fast for the bride and groom but the day guests....it can be such a long and tiring day. What a great way to break up the day!

Also, we are doing well, we haven't been in this situation where we may actually have a good chance of WINNING!!!! for years and probably never will again. The whole country is routing for them. Even people who don't like football are into it. I just don't think it's fair to expect people not to watch it, or not even check their phones!

Saying that....I do understand this lady's frustrations. She's been planning this wedding for over a year. I got married quite recently and know the stress etc of planning....but yeah, wouldn't make any difference to me. I'd be so excited for it to be shown!

Opinions? Is she being unreasonable? It's her and her partners day at the end of it.....I'd be worried my guests wouldn't show up though....

OP posts:
chrisinthesun · 05/07/2018 19:30

@BrashCandicoot

Tbh the sooner people who throw big weddings realise that their day doesn't mean as much (if anything) to their guests as it does to them, and the wedding industry collapses in on itself the better. Wedding days are not the second coming, they're not even the only wedding day for the couple involved.

This ^ in spades. Most people don't give a fuck about someone's wedding day and only turn up for the meal and the party.

Most weddings are a fucking bore, especially the big ones that last all day and cost £20K plus. What a waste of money.

And we all know that the more you spend, the more likely the marriage will fail.

I do feel for this bride, but she has no chance of competing against the world cup.

Has the OP said what time it is by the way? The wedding I mean......

Unless it's at 3pm, she absolutely MUST show the match.

Or have people leaving very quickly (or not turning up.)

As for the people saying 'most people aren't interested...' don't be ridiculous. You can hate on the World Cup all you like, but you cannot deny how popular it is this year, the euphoria, the feel good factor, and the excitement that it's causing. If you deny it, and you don't feel it yourself, I pity you. Must suck to have such a joyless existence. Sad

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/07/2018 19:34

Would football fans (at a funeral) be asking the grieving family if they were going to watch the match or would they be checking the score on their phones during the burial etc?

I went to one funeral where some idiot had asked exactly that ... needless to say he was spoken to very firmly by the widow he'd been tasteless enough to ring

The good news is that his miserable face at least fitted in on the day Hmm

vulvacious · 05/07/2018 19:35

My brother had a big match on at his wedding. Organised it so it was in a screen in a room off of the bar. It stopped the bar being full of people with their head in their phones watching it, broke the day up, and we were all able to still be sociable.

Caspiana · 05/07/2018 19:40

@sycamore54321

That was me you quoted. I agree with you entirely which is why I said I feel for the bride and that it would be rude for people not to go.

The comment about denying football is part of our culture is aimed at all the people expressing bewilderment and disdain that anyone would be want to follow the football at a wedding.

nocoolnamesleft · 05/07/2018 19:47

If I went to a wedding and the "entertainment" was a fucking football match, I'd probably find an excuse to leave. I'd sooner pluck out my eyeballs and roll them in chilli sauce than be forced to watch the world cup.

GameOfMinges · 05/07/2018 19:47

The thing with asking what would happen if this were a funeral, is that if this were a funeral, the situation would be sufficiently different to make comparison minimally useful.

Funerals in England aren't typically held from 3-5, in no small part because that's not an easy time for most people to get there during the week- which is when the majority of funerals are held. They're normally earlier, so if anything was still going on at that time it would be the after funeral reception, which for most English people it would acceptable to leave by that time. And speaking as an English person from a subculture where people do have large receptions after funerals and where 3 would be fairly early for someone close to leave the wake, showing football wouldn't actually be a problem for us.

The post funeral reception for most English funerals isn't a very significant part of the day as it is for the wedding. Going to the wedding ceremony then leaving afterwards is more unusual than going to the funeral ceremony and not staying on. And again I come from a community in England where people do stay on for hours afterwards and get twatted but for most English people the two are not comparable.

Lastly, funerals don't involve people RSVPing a long way in advance then having food booked for them that the host would then lose the cost of if they didn't attend. Meaning that, if you were attending a funeral and wanted to leave in time for a 3pm game and miss some of the reception, you wouldn't be leaving the host out of pocket. It would be socially acceptable in a way that doing so for a wedding wouldn't be.

I eagerly anticipate a load of posts from people who've been to dozens of 5pm Saturday funerals, and I know that if you're eg Muslim and need to bury people quickly weekend funerals are more common, but 3-5pm on a Saturday afternoon remains a much more common time for a wedding than a funeral, and weekday mornings remain unusual times for world cup football matches.

chocolateworshipper · 05/07/2018 19:48

The bride may hate football, but many of her guests will resent the fact she has organised her wedding in the middle of the World Cup in the first place.

So why accept the invite then???!!! I repeat - football fans knew the dates three years ago

Just out of curiosity: At least half the people in the country either don't care or actively dislike men's football. Where did you get those figures from?

Ummmm, by comparing the estimated viewing figures to the UK population figure, possibly? It's not hard.

CheekyCapsicum · 05/07/2018 19:56

If you deny it, and you don't feel it yourself, I pity you. Must suck to have such a joyless existence

This keeps coming up. People who detest football are joyless.

If I say people who are fanatical about football are idiots, I'd be taken to task.

GameOfMinges · 05/07/2018 19:58

Neither the people parading their inability to understand why people are interested in football nor the people parading their inability to understand why people aren't interested are coming off well in this thread.

itsbetterthanabox · 05/07/2018 19:58

How pathetic of the guests. They can watch it after.
I'd be very fucked off if ppl moaned about not watching a game during a wedding.
When I got married and were thinking of dates one of my friends said oh the FA cup is that day my bf will be trying to watch it. I was like are you serious...

likeacrow · 05/07/2018 20:00

Not a fucking chance I'd have some sports on the tele on my wedding day. Poor woman.

itsbetterthanabox · 05/07/2018 20:01

@chrisinthesun
Football fans need to realise the whole world doesn't revolve around the cult of football.
I enjoy weddings of people I'm close to.

NotARegularPenguin · 05/07/2018 20:04

No bloody way would I show a football match at my wedding and any arseholes who would rather watch football than come....well I’d be delighted if they decided not to come to be honest. And I wouldn’t bother keeping the friendship up.

fatimashortbread · 05/07/2018 20:12

The wedding is the most important thing not a game of football. If you were actually attending the game fine you are part of the event. Watching it on television is a second hand experience unlike the wedding which is real!

CanineEnigma · 05/07/2018 20:19

A wedding is also a second hand experience unless you're actually the bride and groom.

CheekyCapsicum · 05/07/2018 20:27

A wedding is also a second hand experience unless you're actually the bride and groom

No, it would be if you were watching it on the telly.

Awhoosh · 05/07/2018 20:28

I can see why you’d be very pissed off but you also have to accept that people will want to watch the match. So as many PP have said, embrace it and get on with it. Otherwise you’ll have loads of folk disappearing. You’ve got no option.

underneaththeash · 05/07/2018 20:31

I think you're a really pathetic human being, if you'd chose a football match over someone you care about and I'm very glad as a parent that I seem to have instilled that into my children as well.

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 05/07/2018 20:31

Though bit awkward if it goes to extra time and pens and foods ready to be served and people are off and away watching . Depends on timing of the day. If things can be pushed back till 530 latest then can't see why it shouldn't work. If they want that to be how it goes and all.

However at the same time it's their day. Wouldn't stop people checking on phones though.

chocolateworshipper · 05/07/2018 20:31

She does indeed have an option. As did the football fans who could have quite easily declined the wedding invite, knowing it was during the world cup.

CheekyCapsicum · 05/07/2018 20:41

Though bit awkward if it goes to extra time and pens and foods ready to be served and people are off and away watching

I'm sure the other guests and chefs and waiting staff wouldn't mind putting everything on hold for them.

On the other hand, they could grow up and show some manners.
If it were me, I wouldn't let the buggers back in if they were late.

GameOfMinges · 05/07/2018 20:42

Except all those ones who couldn't have done in reality. There are some wedding invites that can't actually be declined.

The argument that guests bear responsibility for identifying and declining is valid enough when talking about someone not that close, but becomes entirely implausible if the person wanting to be able to check the scores on their phone is, say, the mother of the groom. Imagine the MIL AIBU thread!

speakingwoman · 05/07/2018 20:50

I feel really sorry for her.

It's not as bad as having your wedding day on 9/11 I suppose.....

Justanotherlurker · 05/07/2018 20:51

I think you're a really pathetic human being if you try and police what people's interests should be by being offended that your guests may wish you well in your future life and being there to celebrate it but also having other interests.

As others have said, there is an inherent dislike for football that is why mumsnet is generally laughed at across the web.

This is peak MN when you tie a lot of the posters to the faux innocence of not understanding the current world cup

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