The Radfords

[highchairhell]

Hey all, after a night struggling with a teething baby and a toddler with chicken pox I ended up thinking about how the radfords cope? There just wasn't enough of me last night to give both the constant attention they wanted, and my DH was helping but it was constant and exhausting.

How on Earth do the radfords cope? Surely their children teeth, get poorly, need advice, homework help, feeding, bathing, one on one time etc so HOW?

I guess my aibu is to think they can't? Surely they can't be in 21 places at once?!

I suspect the older ones help with the younger ones a lot.

And when one gets head lice how do they check all the others

They don't get the support they need, it's simply not possible with that many children.

I highly suspect once the babies get older they are expected to sort themselves out. I honestly don’t think the children get anywhere near enough support/one-one time. I only have one dd and I feel spread thin some days!

They make the older ones look after the younger ones.

When they finally stop producing, only the youngest will have had a childhood. I feel sorry for those kids.

Although, mum radford was 13 when she had her first so I think it's all they know.

My dad was one of 15 and hated it.

Never got to spend time with his mum, she was always with the new one. Whenever he says anything to his mum now about his childhood she just says "you had your big sister looking after you then you had to look after your brother, it's how I coped"
No wonder he only had 2!

I agree with the PP pointing out that it's likely the older ones are responsible for the younger ones. It is simply impossible for them to have enough time and attention to give to each child. The only way they can carry on having babies is because they are relying on the older ones to act in loco parentis, which is pretty unfair really.

I agree with the PP pointing out that it's likely the older ones are responsible for the younger ones. It is simply impossible for them to have enough time and attention to give to each child. The only way they can carry on having babies is because they are relying on the older ones to act in loco parentis, which is pretty unfair really.

I’m sure all they’re able to do is firefight the most immediate and obvious problems. Anything low level probably never gets sorted, while mid level things are left until they either go away or get bad enough to become a priority.

The older girls help out mostly from what I understand

I may be a bitch but I do hope that one day those girls turn around and say "thanks but now I've raised YOUR KIDS, I'm off to live my life"

I have a couple of friends who were from big families. Not quite that big
They had to drag the younger kids everywhere with them. The boys didn't have to
They all left home as soon as they could and none have big families. Several have no kids at all and the others have 1 or 2
It's very selfish imo

What they all they said^^. I hope her latest pregnancy goes well but I must admit when I heard about it I felt concerned for her health, angry for those children and totally bewildered that anyone could celebrate/watch/promote a family like this.

They don't have 21 toddlers/babies though, a good number of their kids are now adults or teens or older, more dependent children. But there is still a lot of them and I believe the older kids help out a lot. I'd imagine homework help etc is out of the question tbh

Yup - the older ones have to look after the young ones and the middle ones are left to fend for themselves. Several of the older girls are on Instagram and their feeds make me feel very sad.

I think in a few years, there will be many books published by the children telling us about what it was really like being one of (currently) 21.

It is disgustingly irresponsible to have so many children on so many levels. As for 'not claiming any benefits' is utter bullshit. How much child benefit do they get. God knows how many millions they cost the tax payer in NHS and education costs every year. Vile. The world would end if everyone was as irresponsible as them as there simply aren't sufficient resources to go around.

I didn't know who these people were until I just looked them up. Four of their daughters are called Millie, Tillie, Ellie and Hallie! That must get confusing.

Older kids looking after the young ones.

And they won't get the levels of attention smaller family's children get when they are ill. When the kids are ill, they'll clean up the sick and then leave them to it until they vomit again. There won't be much of the cuddling or hair stroking or there there ing. It'll be lay in bed and let me know if you're sick and ill come clean it up.

Someone had a phrase on the last thread about them, something about the parenting style being as long as they're fed and not dead it's all okay. None of the nurture.

And maybe they are just a loving family that take care of each other because they want to.....

As if they are given a choice april.

Have many mners got experience of making teens do what they are told regarding siblings?!
I have many dc and have asked the older ones do they like it, ones who have left home are always around!! Still holiday /days out together. No resentment for our busy life!

I'm the oldest of 7 and I was my mother's assistant from age 9. I didn't get a childhood but the youngest remember it being lovely.
I feel very very sorry for the older girls in this family. As soon as I was old enough I left.