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AIBU?

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Original poster

The Radfords

233 replies

highchairhell · 03/07/2018 08:32

Hey all, after a night struggling with a teething baby and a toddler with chicken pox I ended up thinking about how the radfords cope? There just wasn't enough of me last night to give both the constant attention they wanted, and my DH was helping but it was constant and exhausting.

How on Earth do the radfords cope? Surely their children teeth, get poorly, need advice, homework help, feeding, bathing, one on one time etc so HOW?

I guess my aibu is to think they can't? Surely they can't be in 21 places at once?!

OP posts:
Tomorrowillbeachicken · 03/07/2018 13:18

The other thing is that she's putting herself at great risk with every pregnancy and has had quite serious complications in the past.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/07/2018 13:19

true, but again, you can't judge based on the number of children.

An only-child is not necessarily lonely or completely spoil
One of many is not necessarily not loved individually and enjoying his siblings.

I do not agree that you need to be a stay-at-home parent with a maximum of 2 to give them your full attention and the best childhood. It's completely irrelevant.

BarbarianMum · 03/07/2018 13:22

We'll have to agree to disagree them. I think beyond a certain number you can judge, actually. There comes a point where no one can stretch themselves any thinner and still be considered an adequate parent.

Fluffyrainbows · 03/07/2018 13:24

I have a large family (not completely intentionally as 2 sterilisations failed) and I absolutely refuse to make my older children responsible for younger children. One of my teens loves doing things with the younger ones, but there's no obligation and I never leave her responsible. She just enjoys them. Another really isn't into young children and finds them annoying so does her own thing. I don't have anything like the number the Radfords have and I worry about time and attention from toddlers through to teens. There's no way those children have individual options and swimming and football etc and whilst I do think some families these days try to do too much, each child has a right to have their individual interests and talents explored.
I also am surprised by Ellie, Tillie, Hallie and Millie, it seems very lazy naming.
It's up to them but I've no idea why people are so 'they are amazing' no, she's addicted to having babies and really needs to focus on the ones she has. At one point in some of their tv shows, some of the middle boys were moaning about another baby and they didn't even have a bed each they were just a mess of kids in double beds.
It's not fair and shouldn't be celebrated. Although her pelvic floor must be something else.

Watchingthecloudsflyby · 03/07/2018 13:26

We spent the first 18 months of my sons life in and out of hospital. We saw families struggle with balancing one in hospital, a few out and sometimes that was just for a week or two. I'd be too scared of how I'd cope if one of us was out of commission in that way - months in hospital with a child etc.

Ketzele · 03/07/2018 13:28

My mum was the oldest of 10 and says she pretty much had no childhood as she was always doing childcare. I'm sure there are very happy big families, but I think you have to be a pretty special parent to overcome the inevitable lack of resources (of all kinds) that accompany lots of kids. My gran insists to me that she spent quality time with all her children - "even if I had to get them out of bed at midnight" - but the truth is her idea of parenting was, of necessity, very different from most. When she wasn't at work, she spent her whole time firefighting or boiling potatoes.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/07/2018 13:30

I think the biggest family I do know is a family of 12 kids, now all adults. They only talk about good memories and are a very close-knit family. making sure they meet for a big family gathering at least once a year - some live abroad.

I do believe that your childhood, the way you were raise and how happy you were is down to your parents, not the number of your siblings. If you can afford them and give them a decent life, you can't really have "too many" children.

For some terrible parents, one child is already too many children let's face it.

Fluffyrainbows · 03/07/2018 13:39

The largest family I know personally has 12 children. And it is a full time job, it is also possible to have a large happy well balanced family but sadly in much of the footage of the Radfords I'm not sure that comes across.
They definitely used to get tax credits as she said so on her blog, whether now they are above that threshold with tv deals and his pie business online, I've no idea. But it did always irritate the whole 'we don't claim' as she'd said herself they got tax credits.
You don't need loads of money or 1-2-1 to have a happy, loved childhood but I just don't see how that large group of children in the middle can get to be listened to and have a voice when there's so many young ones demanding time.

petrolpump28 · 03/07/2018 13:39

they are really not well at all are they? the Mum and dad.

The gene pool must be well and truly drained by now.

Poor kids.

ChampagneSupernovaAgain · 03/07/2018 13:44

Dear Lord
IMAGINE the NIT checking
Never mind the threadworms

user546425732 · 03/07/2018 13:50

My father was one of many, as the eldest he had to take the next 4 on holiday down to the coast on his own so their mother could look after the younger ones, this was back in the 1940s and he was 13.

HelenaDove · 03/07/2018 13:53

its just the oldest Radford girls who are expected to do the care though.............not the boys. So they are being sexist as well.

i wonder how many of the older girls will choose not to have children.

HelenaDove · 03/07/2018 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/07/2018 14:01

What a vile post that I won't bother answering. Here's your Biscuit

HelenaDove · 03/07/2018 14:25

Im simply saying that its hypocrisy to use the NHS as a stick to beat people with on the weight threads..........which you have done.

But then gloss over it.........push it to one side when it comes to this.

it proves that its concern trolling.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 03/07/2018 14:27

My ds 16 complains he doesn't see ds 3 enough!!..

TheCriminalMind · 03/07/2018 14:33

I’m the eldest of seven (not not as bad as double figures) but I did a lot of care for my siblings (who were not babies).
It was made worse by the fact my mother was horrendously poorly every pregnancy and I pretty much raised my older (but younger than me) siblings.

I do feel sorry for the older Radford children, they will never get quality time with their parents.

Watchingthecloudsflyby · 03/07/2018 14:58

petrolpump28
The gene pool must be well and truly drained by now.

What the hell are you on (about)?

petrolpump28 · 03/07/2018 15:05

the recource dilution model.

petrolpump28 · 03/07/2018 15:06

which is usually spelt with a letter s.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/07/2018 15:09

Still a disgusting thing to say about real people. Any of their child could read that. Online bullying at its best.

BarbarianMum · 03/07/2018 15:42

Oh I'm sure two such devoted and excellent parents thought carefully about the effect on their children of turning their family into a soap opera ikeep. And I'm sure they carefully supervise their children on line and know what they're reading. How rude of you to question their judgement.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/07/2018 16:35

If you are trying to justify your online bullying, it's not working.

I don't know if the children are happy or not about their siblings, but some of the posts on here are disgusting. On a parenting forum no less!

Original poster
highchairhell · 03/07/2018 16:55

It just all seems so sad and factory like. The kids rooms are plain, children crammed in, no personality about them or toys anywhere. The dinners are just served up haphazardly like in a school where they line up and get what they're given. What if one has a nightmare? Can they jump in bed with mum and dad for a cuddle? What about any children that are LGBT 🏳️‍🌈? Law of averages say a few might be gay. How are they supported? SEND? Any support for that? Would they even notice?

I think it's awful. I know it's not my life, not my choice but those children can not be given the attention they need. It's not fair that the older ones are unpaid labour. It's also an incredibly sexist set up as one show said only the girls are expected to clean and babysit.

I also read that Noël conveniently earns £50,000... just the amount allowed before child benefit stops...

OP posts:
Mousefunky · 03/07/2018 17:09

They have previously confessed to not ‘believing in reading’. There’s no way the children will have the attention, space or quiet to read or concentrate on revising for exams and course work. I worry for them all academically, for their futures. There’s absolutely no way any human can stretch themselves between 21 other humans full time and give them all equal love and attention. Some of the children have grown now and flown the nest, sure but I think almost half of them are under 12.

She is addicted to being pregnant. Once the baby is past the newborn stage, she loses the attention and craves it.

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