The Radfords

[highchairhell]

Hey all, after a night struggling with a teething baby and a toddler with chicken pox I ended up thinking about how the radfords cope? There just wasn't enough of me last night to give both the constant attention they wanted, and my DH was helping but it was constant and exhausting.

How on Earth do the radfords cope? Surely their children teeth, get poorly, need advice, homework help, feeding, bathing, one on one time etc so HOW?

I guess my aibu is to think they can't? Surely they can't be in 21 places at once?!

petrolpump28
The gene pool must be well and truly drained by now.

the resource dilution model

Which is about a families time, money, resources etc. It has nothing to do with the genes or "gene pool" or genetics.

why the constant demand for publicity? Its sad for those kids. Who wants to be saddled with the term Rainbow Baby?

Fluffyrainbows, I watched one of the documentaries about The Radfords and I was amazed at their organisation because it must take a lot to manage a family of that size. They seem to love each other and those children are definitely wanted.

Whether they are ideal parents, who knows? I don't. I've seen a snapshot, edited and manipulated - like everybody else - but unlike many other people, I don't feel qualified or even motivated in the slightest, to judge them. Would their lifestyle be for me? Hell no, I wouldn't want it, couldn't cope. But they do. Somehow what they want has tied in with what they can have and for that, I salute them. There are many people who don't get what they want in their life.

I remember that there was something about one or both parents having been adopted and so felt the need for a big family? If that's the case then how lovely for them, that's what they have. More than knowing of them, I have little interest and absolutely no investment. I wish them well though.

Not all posts on this thread are equal; I didn't say that all the posters were bitches but there are some very nasty comment, badly veiled and dressed up as faux concern - and nasty nevertheless. Sad women, lacking so much.

Think how much they cost the NHS, the education system, let alone all the tax credits etc. Do they live in council housing - presume the council have to give then bigger ones.

They must have cost tax payers £millions there should be a cut off - anymore than 2 and you pay all the above costs

I have 5 children, I have always been very solid in the fact that my older kids (mid to late teens) are not built in babysitters to my younger two.
Actually the other day my 19 year old daughter asked is she could take her baby sister (3) out swimming and for ice cream, choosing to spend time with her which is lovely.
Iv seen friends that have relied heavily on older kids parenting the younger to the point the kids have become resentful, it's not right.
I'm heavily stretched, giving time individually to mine so with the Radfords there is no chance.

There are many people who don't get what they want in their life

Indeed but those kids didnt have a choice. What is being modeled to them? Who are they emulating?

Has the 'pregnancy special' been announced yet? I wonder if the baby is due on Alfie's due date? She lost him around this time at the same gestation that this baby is roughly now.

No I don't think she's posted the vlog yet.

I've just had a nosey at their FB page, there is quite a few messages from reporters/tv asking for them to contact, I wonder how much money the Radfords are bringing in from the social media/ads on IG/newspaper reports.

I would hate to be in that house when a bug sweeps thru, Sophie has a fb post saying her 3 kids have a bug so it's only a matter of time before it hits the Radford kids.

I only watched one Lying Witch.........................and i was appalled at the sexism where the older girls were/are expected to do everything while the boys didnt lift a finger. Thats what i saw.

the girls have developed that weird posture due to having a smaller sibling attached to their hips.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe fair enough. I'm in no way an avid follower but have come across her over the years on forums/blogs/tv shows and am very wary of how it's presented. I wish them no harm and very much a live and let live person, but I suppose the fact they are presented as so good at what they do (based on heavy editing) opens up discussion about whether anyone in that position really can be everything to everyone.

HelenaDove, my mum was like that too - my three brothers weren't expected to do 'women's work'. So annoying.

@helenadove and yet that's at odds with how hard Noel works. He's up and does a shift at the bakery before coming back to do the school run and he seems fairly hands on. I'd not picked up on it being the girls that did a lot.
But when they first got famous her blog was something else, I think someone must've advised her against it or helped them with media as it really was a full on insight and definitely affected the way I thought about them and their family size.

Fluffyrainbows, I don't disagree with you. I just remember the good ol' days where documentaries were just interesting social commentary, seeing 'how the other half lives', if you like. It was just interesting and informative, not something to compare myself to because mostly the situation wasn't really comparable to my own.

I think the advent of reality TV has all but wrecked that, now it just seems to be a dive to the bottom, to pit ourselves against the people in society who are struggling. It really makes no sense to me. What do some people get out of looking down on somebody who's already 'down there'? There are lots of people who do that - until their own circumstances and situation are looked down on by others and then they see how it feels.

My explanation for it is just that some people are really lacking and they know they can't 'compete' with 'best in class' and feel badly about that - so they hunt out people who have little, coupled with an inability to change their situations - and these people then benchmark themselves against them - and it makes them feel better.

I deplore the loss of proper journalism too, we just seem to specialise in 'gutter press' now.

Sorry to keep posting back to you, I'm not referring to you in my points and I appreciate your posts.

Feel sorry for the kids having to look at their sibling, but they don't give a shiny shit about the future of what there children face.

Overpopulation is a massive problem in this, world at moment. People need to face up you can't have unlimited children and not face the future hardships they may face.

Years ago, a lot of women had 10 plus children, especially in Ireland where my parents are from. A family with 15 kids was pretty normal.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I agree with a lot of what you say and it is a really interesting discussion. I guess also maybe human nature is to try and make yourself feel better.
My dad was a dreadful father and now watches Jeremy Kyle and tells us we should be grateful and it's made him feel a lot better

If any of the preschoolers are in childcare, there will be staff ratios of 1:8 or 1:4 or 1:3 depending on their age. So they actually get more individual attention in childcare settings than they do at home!

I read a quote from one of the older girls saying how she is expected to look after the younger ones and how stressful it is. When do these kids actually get a childhood?

Fluffyrainbows, my dad sounds a bit similar. I remember him watching a documentary on the Yorkshire Ripper and saying something like, "See, you could have had worse than me". Needless to say, he was a useless father and I haven't seen him for about 20 years. No loss to me at all.

That said, I do crave a dad sometimes, I often see an actor on TV and think "He would be a nice dad for me"... I've no idea whether he would or not, he just embodies characteristics that I would have liked in a father, I think.

I'm sorry your dad was awful too.

I'm the youngest girl from a huge family (Not Radford huge but half way there) and I'm incredibly close to my eldest sister because she practically raised me. My parents were good people but no one can parent on a one to one basis when just running a home takes eighteen hours a day. None of us have large families, most having only children. I have the most DC (3) with twelve years between DC1 and DC3. I don't think you should ask the mother's opinions of supersize families, ask the children.

surferjet Yes and the girls were not expected to do much at school. They were raised to be wives and mothers. Most women now have to work and being able to support yourself means it is easier to leave a crap partner. Educations matters.

I feel sorry for Sue Radford; I think she’s quite vulnerable.

I cannot see how it is remotely possible to really ‘know’ your children when there are so many of them. What are their hopes and fears? What makes them tick? Who are they?

Incidentally, this baby will be the Radford’s 20th living child. It is Sue’s 21st pregnancy, but they had a stillborn boy a couple of years ago.

One of the saddest things I have seen is a clip from the show in which Sue and Chloe are chatting about Chloe’s impending departure to university. To summarise, Sue went on about how much she would miss Chloe, how much she was going to hate it etc while Chloe was the one being positive about it, and saying that although she would miss her family, she was looking forward to going. She said that keeping hereslef busy would help her not to miss home too much. Sue: ‘Yes you’ll be busy. you’ll be busy Skyping your mummy!’

It seemed like a reverse of what might normally happen when a child leaves for university- the child is nervous and apprehensive and the parent is the one giving the reassurance.

waterlego Such as bad several m/cs at 12 weeks so this is at least pregnancy #23 and I doubt it will be the last either.

*She has had