To be so annoyed not to get a thank you card?

[GinPink]

Friend got married. We gave a card and present (a gift voucher worth more than we could really afford - she had requested money instead of presents). My Mum also have her money as a gift.

I know people are busy but there was no thank you card, text, nada. It's been 6 months. I find it rude but also it's so annoying to constantly hear my mum ask if my friend definitely received her gift, as naturally she's expecting some kind of thanks?

The idea of writing thank-you cards seems to be no longer normal, but you should have had some sort of thanks or acknowledgement, if only verbal. You could ask on behalf of your DM if anything has been received.

This pisses me off too OP.

However, I am usually diligent about writing thank you cards with me & DC, but after DC3 I didn't get round to it as life was so hectic and the adjustment (for us going back to baby yrs) so immense. I still feel very guilty so I've tried to thank as many people as I can with photos and msgs since then (but also lost list so some of it is guesswork!)

YANBU, but Some people dont say thank you, I personally think it's rude I thanked all my friends and family with thank you cards on my wedding and favour boxes with a "thank you for attending our special day" sticker on, but my SIL did not bother on hers It did make me wonder if she received my money in card (she also requested money as a gift)

It is rude. No one is too busy for 6 months to not send a note of thanks!

I think you're absolutely justified in feeling upset. They've been appallingly rude not to acknowledge your gift after six months.

6 months is a long time to hold on to this I would tell your mum you have no idea because friend wasn't civil enough to say thank you. Or you could pretty it up for yourmum. How rude of your friend not even a nod of acknowledgement .

It’s amazingl rude and frankly a generic card on the day isn’t brilliant either. I gave a young friend a very generous gift voucher for her wedding and got no kind of acknowledgement other than a, ‘oh, you are naughty,’ the next time I saw her.

Another young relative recently had a baby and I sent a small gift and card. I nearly fell over when I received a very sweet hand written thank you card a week or so later.

Thank you cards are are load of faff. We've been to a fair few weddings in the last two years and I can't remember which ones sent thank you cards or not.

Is it really beyond your comprehension that she would of been grateful without a card!?
When I get them, I am usually annoyed at being 'disturbed*' by a pointless waste of paper, money and effort when I already knew they'd be thankful.
*dissapointed it isn't something more interesting

I know cards and letters are a faff but a text a fb message or get this a face to face thank you takes no time, especially if the person is like the op mum is a bit traditional.

I honestly can;t imagine stewing on not receiving a thank you card for 6 months.

I think YABU to be ‘so annoyed’ so long after the event. Or at all really. Miffed, surprised, irritated, sure. Stewing over it is ridiculous.

FWIW, I did all mine quite fast and a selection went missing - about 10. Maybe it got lost?

I like getting cards but I give gifts because I know the couple will like it and as a thank-you for the hospitality they show me - the card (if it comes) is a nice bonus.

And you shouldn’t spend more than you can afford - that’s not their fault.

It's slightly irritating but 6 months is a long time. Maybe you both need to let this go.

Im not botheted about cards really. I bought a set of expensive plates from a friends wedding l8st once. I got a thank you card that said 'thanks for the plates, they are very plate like'. Erm, thanks for that.

A text would have been nice though. I think its rude to not say thank you.

Been to I've been to 15 weddings in the last 10 years. Only one sent a thank you card afterwards.

Unsurprisingly, from the one couple who were in their late 50s and for whom it was a second wedding. All the others in their 20s or 30s.

We were late sending our thank you cards but then we are totally last minute with everything 🙄 We weren't 6 months late though.....rude!

Never got one either.

Wouldn't bother me in the least! I'm sure you know they are grateful, they are hardly going to not be are they? And I'm betting that there was a social media status somewhere thanking everybody (which you could show your mum), as well as a 'thank you for all of our lovely gifts' in one of the speeches. Cards are ok I guess, if you like that kind of thing, or are 6 years old and your mum has insisted you write one to granny, but come on, 6 months on and you're still dwelling on this non-event? Really? 🙄

Add to that, the cost of buying and posting maybe 50 or more of these completely superfluous cards, on top of the horrendous expense that the couple had just forked out on their wedding, would be crazy!

No thank you at all? Have you seen then since? Xx

Not sure why the xxx

I wouldn't worry about getting a card, but I would hope for some acknowledgement that a gift was received. Not so much if it was bought online from a register list, but money and vouchers can walk at a certain type of wedding, so I would like to be sure that the bride and groom weren't wondering why I didn't get them anything!

I posted cards to everyone. It was a bit embarrassing when a friend of my family moaned to Dad that they hadn't had one. It had definitely been sent but unfortunately had not arrived

I think it's very rude not to acknowledge a gift. I buy for several nieces and nephews and rarely receive a thank you, even a text (which would be fine). As I can't have my own children it grates even more.

I have only been to one wedding where I received a thank you card afterwards, and that one came almost a year after the event. Perhaps it's no longer a done thing? I really don't care if I get one or not tbh. They say thank you on the day and that's enough for me

The last 3 weddings I have been to I haven’t received a thank you card for gift (or whatever we gave). Yes I think it is rude. Interestingly all the weddings have also been those where it has been vastly personalised pre wedding with save the date packages etc. Just their thoughts seemed to only go up to the day of the wedding. I am now more surprised to be thanked than not!