To be so annoyed not to get a thank you card?

[GinPink]

Friend got married. We gave a card and present (a gift voucher worth more than we could really afford - she had requested money instead of presents). My Mum also have her money as a gift.

I know people are busy but there was no thank you card, text, nada. It's been 6 months. I find it rude but also it's so annoying to constantly hear my mum ask if my friend definitely received her gift, as naturally she's expecting some kind of thanks?

Its very rude. I wouldn't expect a thankyou card immediately because of honeymoon and everything but 6 months means they are not going to bother.

It also does seem worrying in case they didnt get the gift/money. I would bring it up. Just mention your mum has been worrying about it and could they reassure you what they got from her so you can reassure her. I bet they can't even remember now.

I’ve never written a thank you card in my life. I SAY thank you when receiving a gift, I will often say when next seeing the person ‘oh that xx you got me is great for xx reason’. But wasting trees and my time/money on cards? No.

I think it's beyond rude no to acknowledge a present especially if you've spent a fair bit. I don't expect handwritten missives, I don't mind a text, email or whatever, just something.

3 nieces/nephews got married in the last few years, I spent between £100 and £150 on each present and it was about 6 months before I heard. That's fine, lives are busy. One of them printed up something lovely with a pic from the wedding, another of them wrote a long handwritten note (unexpected but appreciated), another one rang me.

I really think it's important to acknowledge presents in some way however long it takes and however you do it.

My sister gave her friend a gift (can't remember the reason) and the girl put on facebook 'don't know who gave me this chocolate but i'm stuffing my face'. She's the sort of person who doesn't care who the gift is off, she just wants stuff!
I'm sure there are a lot of people like that who don't even know who their gifts/cash/vouchers are off, they just rip open envelopes to count how much they've made!
I always write it down as I'm opening and send thank you notes.
I have had 2 thank you notes in the past 2 years that thanked me for the wrong things - a mother thanked me for her newborn's toy when it was an outfit I gave her and I gave a couple some cash as well as a little personalised present and the thank you note said thank you for the personalised present but didn't mention the cash.

Just ring and ask her. Say you didn't know if it had arrived.

And OP it’s really not the couples fault if you gave a voucher you couldn’t afford.

Maybe it's lost in the post? Did they not thank people during the speeches? No thank you at all is rude.

It is rude op. I'm only 39 but send thank you letters for everything. Most people are astonished to receive them which is very sad.

We went to a wedding last year and no one had been thanked for the money/gifts.

A few words of thanks never hurt anybody and makes the giver feel good! I had a similar thing earlier this year - had tickets to a prestigious event and was going with a friend, illness prevented me going so said friend took one of her friends with her. These tickets were quite expensive (think £100) and I never had a word of thanks from this 3rd party, let alone an offer to pay for the ticket!

It wouldn't bother me personally. I don't give to receive a thank you card back.

I wrote thank you cards for most of my 80 guests even the ones that didn’t gift to say thank you for making the effort to join us as is that not the point? Celebrating together?

I do admit I left dh a list of “his guests” as I had RSI and my hand ached too much to write them all and 9 years later I am still apologising to them that they never received one from us.

He was NEVER taught or made to write thank yous so saw it as no big deal. I was and was mortified he didn’t bother! My dcs will be made to!

So YANBU in my eyes!

People seem to have stopped doing this. I find it very rude not to do so.

I recently sent a really nice card for a wedding, I wrote some very thoughtful words in it and enclosed a cheque which was really more than I could afford but never mind.....

I never heard a thing. No acknowledgement, no nothing; although others have had a thank you. I sent a brief text after a few weeks saying "I hope you got my card and cheque?" but still nothing. Are they ignoring me on purpose? Did the cheque not arrive then?
I don't think long thank you letters are necessary these days, I would have been quite happy with a quick text saying 'cheque arrived, thanks' or whatever.

I don't think you're being unreasonable.....

I'd just ask if they got it as you havent had a thank you text/email etc. Thats enough I think to let them know.
Its rude they should have thanked you.
Maybe they have forgotton who they have and havent thanked?

It's the height of bad manners. My stepson and his wife would have received a substantial gift for their new baby had they bothered to thank us for their wedding present and our financial contribution to their wedding costs. As it is they can go whistle, if it's not worth saying thank you for, it's clearly not appreciated.

I think any present not opened with the giver thanked in person then and there needs a separate thank you. A card is lovely, but a call/email/text is fine too. But not a generic group shout out.

I've been to lots of weddings. I can't remember whether we got thank you cards or not. I just don't see them as important. I did write them after our wedding though as I know other people like them.

The height of bad manners in my book.

If they start a family... you know what to do! Nothing.

It seems normal these days not to say thanks to people for wedding gifts.
I'm no etiquette snob - I don't really care how the thanks is communicated - letter, email, FB message, text - any of those are fine. But if you give someone money it's good form to let them know it's been received.
I gave my nephew an envelope with cash from the country he lives in via a third party who was in the UK. As I never got a thank you, I had to check that it actually had made its way to him, which was somewhat embarrassing to do.

It's so very rude, some people are just entitled and have no manners.

Unless you disappear on honeymoon for a month, or have some medical emergency, there's zero excuse for not doing the thank-you cards in the month following your wedding.

Include the price of cards and stamps in your wedding budget, it's not that much anyway.

You have time to open all the gifts then you have time to say thank you. I bought wedding thank you cards befor the big day. Then when you are back from the honeymoon and open the gifts one at a time and write a note as you go. My husband and I had a wonderful day doing this with a big pot of tea and as we went through we were able to remember all the people who had shared the day with us. I recommend this.

Is it really beyond your comprehension that she would of been grateful without a card!?

She may be grateful but a thank you of some sort would be nice, even a text. Not acknowledging the gift is just plain rude.

I'm still pissed off that DH's son and DIL didn't say thank you for the money we gave them for their wedding. I wasn't bothered by a card, but a simple thank you would have been nice.

It's so rude not to write thank you's! I couldn't imagine inviting people to my wedding, REQUESTING money over thoughtful gifts, then not sending out a nice thank you for attending the day/gifts card in the post. :(

true, people always find the time, money and energy to send - sometimes very expensive - wedding invit'. Shame the rude one can't be bothered with a little thank-you once they had their big day and their gift.

I’d be annoyed too! People just seem so self absorbed these days, it takes a few minutes to write a quick thank you note, no excuses.