To be so annoyed not to get a thank you card?

[GinPink]

Friend got married. We gave a card and present (a gift voucher worth more than we could really afford - she had requested money instead of presents). My Mum also have her money as a gift.

I know people are busy but there was no thank you card, text, nada. It's been 6 months. I find it rude but also it's so annoying to constantly hear my mum ask if my friend definitely received her gift, as naturally she's expecting some kind of thanks?

A thank you next time she sees you or a text or a communication isn't unreasonable to my mind...im big on saying thank you

Fair enough OP you have clarified about the card

Personally I hate cards with a passion...i have family that have been vile to me in the past that I barely see but insist on sending and lauding it over the world that they send birthday cards to me...i don't bloody want them

I honestly think cards are a waste and a faux pretence of politeness...if you actually gave to be nice...surely a thank you and the knowledge the person is enjoying the gift is enough (OP I recognise you don't fit in here and would have accepted a face to face thank you)

My Exmil used to send me a card....we hated each other...with a passion ...so why the bloody hell send a card out of politeness

Ban sodding cards I say (apparently I'm a bit hangry at lunchtime apologies...but my point stands just maybe led dog the rhetoric!)

I got married last year. Didn't send out thank you cards but did contact each guest personally to say thank you for coming and the gift etc. Thought about getting cards done but felt it was more personal to actually contact the guests instead.

But I'd also agree to let it go.....more important things in life to worry about

I'm really not into thank you cards, but I do always thank people for gifts, in person at the time if possible, otherwise by text, messenger or phone.

Not giving any form of thank you or acknowledgment is just rude.

@Brunsdon1 I'm going to look like a complete idiot now but I actually hate paper cards too. It's just the sentiment, I literally just wanted her to say a teeny 'thanks'.

We sent cards after our wedding as I thought that would be easier for a large event then calling all 90 guests.

As someone already said - it's not her fault we gave more than we could afford. But that's besides the point. Even if someone gave me £5 at my wedding they'd have received a genuine thank you.

Absolutely and I totally get that...a thanks is entirely reasonable

I'll go against the grain and say yes ok it was your choice to give what you did but if I was the bride I believe I would have made a point to recognise the generosity

(Glad to hear another who hates cards but I've eaten my lunch now so less likely to suggest a joint card burning campaign )

I got a thank you card a year after a wedding once. By that stage I'd forgotten what I'd given them and that they hadn't sent a thank you of any sort. They shouldn't have bothered at that point really

@Brunsdon1 haha! I always appreciate the message inside and at grateful for the card, but a text would be more eco friendly and do the trick.

@littlemissdynamite I'm sorry if I've upset you. My wine post probably did seem patronising but as you say it's only a fucking card (and now some pills and alcohol....)

I didn't know that thank you cards were a thing until my own wedding. I hadn't been to any as an adult and it was arranged very quickly due to my mother in law's terminal diagnosis. I did get some once I realised but never got around to writing them as I was struggling with pregnancy complications and spending a lot of time caring for my mother in law. I suppose life just got in the way. This couple could have something going on which you don't know about.

@ButDoYouAvocado
Im not botheted about cards really. I bought a set of expensive plates from a friends wedding l8st once. I got a thank you card that said 'thanks for the plates, they are very plate like'. Erm, thanks for that.

I'm intrigued at how they sound unimpressed with the plates' overall plateyness They DID choose them, didn't they, if they were from their list?!

Still, better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

I didn't know that thank you cards were a thing until my own wedding.

I am sorry, but I find this kind of statement very weird. Have you never received a thank-you card for a birthday present you gave, have you never written a thank-you note to a teacher? There's etiquette, but there's also common sense.

because there's nothing than a bride wants more than stopping her enjoying her special day to open presents and read cards. Or maybe that's just you!

No, that's silly. But the thanks given at the speeches cover the 'gratitude' part of the brides day. Expecting a special, one-on-one act of gratitude seems very precious. I'd personally be very embarrassed if my friends thought they needed to do this for me.

It is rude not to thank but these days a text or WhatsApp is ok, ideally not a group one though!

I think this is fucking rude! The day I arrived back from honeymoon I sat down and wrote and posted every single card. I’ve had people not send me thank you cards and it’s just not on! People LOVE receiving a handwritten card, they really do - I did the same the day after my baby shower. It makes a huge difference. But people just don’t give a shit anymore. I don’t think the effort of a text is enough or comparable.

People LOVE receiving a handwritten card, they really do

I don't. It get opened, read, and recycled. Then I feel annoyed that all that effort, paper, was spent on a one way journey from my door to the bin.

Thank in person.

I can’t get worked up about this- when I receive a card, I read it and then recycle it!

We sent thank you cards after our baby was born, and will also be sending thank you cards out after our Wedding in December.
Just very basic manners to thank someone, I haven’t attended a wedding/sent a baby gift where I haven’t been thanked.

@Wendalicious my exact reason for not faffing about with sending a card! I can't see people actually putting them up in their houses, just straight in the recycling. That's why i thanked everyone personally instead. Cheaper, easier and not a waste of time.

I find this incredibly rude. Also not receiving a thank you for presents generally. It's entitled. I also hate people asking for money . I got a thank you from my cousin for a wedding present some time after the event, and it just said thank you for 'the present'. Made me feel she hadn't even taken note of what i had sent her.

My DS received over £10,000 worth of vouchers and money for her wedding. Not one card went out to say thank you. Me and my mother spent months fielding "can i just ask, did DS get my card? I put it in the postbox but there was rather a large amount of money in it and I was worried it had gone astray" phone calls from family members. We told DS who was "far too busy" (spending all the money I presume) to send any. We couldnt possibly understand the stress she was under at work and how busy the last year had been for her and DH. In the end, out of sheer embarassment, I wrote thank you cards to all our family FROM HER. However we also found out she "wasnt sure" how much everyone gave individually and just had a total amount that was banked.

It is extremely rude. Only happened to me once. I just said to the bride, can I just check you got the money we gave you as we put it in the reception post box and would hate to think you hadn't got it. I really think people don't appreciate how nice it feels to get a hand written note, just a line or two. Those people who do it go up in my opinion, they are more thoughtful, less grasping.

I think it’s rude not to acknowledge a gift - it suggests entitlement. I wouldn’t be furious about not receiving a thank you for a wedding gift, but I’d certainly notice.
Having said that, some people take longer than 6 months to get round to them, so perhaps it’s still in the pipeline.

Btw when people send me a card, it goes up on the mantelpiece. Same as everyone else I know. Not everyone throws them straight into the bin!

I remember weddings I have attended who have not said thank you. Rude people!
How are you supposed to know they got your gist/money if they just do a lazy "thanks everyone for all the presents" on fb or during speeches. Thanks can be as simple as a text or fb message, just something to a acknowledge that you gave them thing x

You should always say thank you for a gift. You don't need to write a card, but a call or text or something! My neice was terrible, never said thank you for anything. I sent her a generous amount for her 21st, heard nothing. I got in touch to ask if she got it. She said "yeah". Last time I gave her anything.