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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Retirement - really?

91 replies

CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 20:37

I am coming up for retirement age next spring. I’ve worked ever since I was a 14-year-old Saturday girl, and worked all through my three years at uni.
Tonight I said to my DH, I may just see if I can put my hours down to a 3 day week. Those wages, plus my state pension, will see me bringing in the same money.
However, if the boss doesn’t like that idea, I may just retire fully
Husband is now unhappy, thinks I’m ‘shirking’ my responsibilities and being a lazy sod.
Really? AIBU?

OP posts:
MotherOfMinions · 01/07/2018 20:41

No you're not being unreasonable. He, however, is BVU

Babymamamama · 01/07/2018 20:41

What on earth is your husband on about. Do exactly what works for you. I admire people who continue working in any capacity after retirement age. But why should you be full time if you don't have to. Is he one of those work till you drop types?

MissusGeneHunt · 01/07/2018 20:42

No you're not at all. Go for it. Enjoy your time away from work, you've bloody deserved it!

HellenaHandbasket · 01/07/2018 20:43

Shirking what responsibility?

OddBoots · 01/07/2018 20:44

Is your dh planning to retire at any point? I am guessing he is younger than you.

IStillMissBlockbuster · 01/07/2018 20:44

I don't understand, does he think you should ever retire?
What are his plans?

EdWinchester · 01/07/2018 20:46

How silly. If you afford to retire or semi-retire and you want to - do it!

I have calculated that I could retire at 54. 7 years away. I don’t know if I will want to, but it’s nice to know I could and still be well off.

My dad only retired at 77!

Original poster
CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 20:47

Shirking my responsibility of bringing in equal amounts of money into the joint account. He doesn’t see why he should be out working full time while I have retired. He is 9 years younger.

OP posts:
DaphneduM · 01/07/2018 20:47

YANBU - you have worked since you were 14 years of age. If you're sure your finances are OK, then I don't understand why your husband has an issue with you retiring. What are his plans for retirement - do you think he might be a bit envious? It's much better to retire when you're still mentally and physically active. I went down to 3 days a week a couple of years before retirement, it is a lovely way of winding down. Life is short, go with your gut feeling!

Bluntness100 · 01/07/2018 20:48

I don't understand either. What is his issue? Do you have financial worries where earning extra would help? I genuinely dont understand why he thinks you need to work?

Bluntness100 · 01/07/2018 20:50

You mean if you retire fully you have much less to live on and he is them is subsidising and doesn't want to do it?

Original poster
CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 20:52

The only issues are that he thinks he will be lumbered with all the financial responsibilities, while I swan about, enjoying myself while he still has to work. We are mortgage free.

OP posts:
KirstenRaymonde · 01/07/2018 20:54

What?! How is this the first time he’s realised you’re older and will therefore retire before him? Have you never discussed retirement before? Confused

Original poster
CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 20:54

Bluntness - yes, I will be on the State pension plus couple of work pensions.

OP posts:
butlerswharf · 01/07/2018 20:54

So you've done at least 9 years more work than him already! He's being cheeky.

Bluntness100 · 01/07/2018 20:54

Ok, so have you sat and looked at the financials together?

Being mortgage free is only part of the story. Can you maintain your current lifestyle on a state pension? Be it socialising, cars, clothes, holidays, etc?

KirstenRaymonde · 01/07/2018 20:54

Does he want you to work 9 more years in an attempt at ‘fairness’?

Doilooklikeatourist · 01/07/2018 20:56

He is being very very unreasonable
Retire , or do the 3 days whichever suits you best
I can’t wait to retire 😀
Have to flog on for another few years though

NorthEndGal · 01/07/2018 20:57

Is he saying you have to work 9 years past retirement age to make him feel better?

Original poster
CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 20:58

Kirsten, the age gap has been a total non-issue until now. Now it’s kinda hit him in the face.

OP posts:
DaphneduM · 01/07/2018 20:58

Having paid off the mortgage massively frees up your options - you'll be able to manage on a lot less money than you think you need - less petrol, workplace expenses, etc. Do you have any other pension provision apart from the state pension, or personal savings that could act as a buffer? Ultimately while it is obviously preferable to have your husband's blessing, it is your decision. Does he like his job?

CherryPavlova · 01/07/2018 20:58

I think retirement and lower income is a bit of a scary prospect. I think you both need to sit and have a frank discussion about marital finances and how you are going to cope going into retirement. It’s not your money and his money - you’re married so it’s both of your monies. He assumedly isn’t expecting you to work until your 75?

SleepingStandingUp · 01/07/2018 21:02

Can you afford to live on his wage and your pension?
Would he basically pay all the bills whilst you have your pension money for spends?
How is housework split now and how will it change once your or of work?
All those things need discussing really before either of you just quits your job

MrsExpo · 01/07/2018 21:03

Really OP? Are you going to tell him he’s a “lazy sod” when he retires? WTF did he think was going to happen, given the difference in your ages? Retire ..... YANBU.

HollowTalk · 01/07/2018 21:04

But if you're bringing in the same money, how is it worrying him? Surely his life would be easier if you were home more?