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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Retirement - really?

91 replies

CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 20:37

I am coming up for retirement age next spring. I’ve worked ever since I was a 14-year-old Saturday girl, and worked all through my three years at uni.
Tonight I said to my DH, I may just see if I can put my hours down to a 3 day week. Those wages, plus my state pension, will see me bringing in the same money.
However, if the boss doesn’t like that idea, I may just retire fully
Husband is now unhappy, thinks I’m ‘shirking’ my responsibilities and being a lazy sod.
Really? AIBU?

OP posts:
WowLookAtYou · 01/07/2018 21:35

So, remind him that you were out earning at 14 whilst he was "swanning about enjoying himself" playing outside and climbing trees at the age of 5.

Racecardriver · 01/07/2018 21:37

@CowesTwo no you haven't, you have essentially been paying taxes which the government spent ages ago. The money to pay out your pension with be coming from other people's pockets. You (like the rest of your generation) have been fed lies. It really shouldn't be my problem if you were gullible enough to believe them. I am to busy trying to raise my children and actually make reasonable plans to fund my own retirement without taking money from other people.

StopPOP · 01/07/2018 21:37

Taking money away from young people Grin Grin Grin

@CowesTwo Absolutely retire. You've done your bit, and then some.

HazelBite · 01/07/2018 21:37

I am 4 years older than DH, and retired 18months ago. I tried to get a job share with a colleague who was also looking to wind down but my employers werenlt having it, and my job couldn't be done on a part time basis, so I retired.
I would have loved to have worked 3 days a week as stopping altogether, whilst fun at first, put me into a depressed state, it was as if I had lost my identity, and I missed my colleagues.
I think what you are proposing is a good idea, don't take any notice of him you do what is right for you !

WowLookAtYou · 01/07/2018 21:39

Oh do fuck off, RaceCar. You're talking absolute bollocks. Go and educate yourself about everyday life in this country.

Racecardriver · 01/07/2018 21:39

The government has no money. They have been taking ours to pay their debts. You should all be making more sensible retirement investment decisions.

Ellie56 · 01/07/2018 21:40

Don't listen to your husband - he sounds like a twat. You have already worked longer than him.If you want to retire, you should do just that, while you are fit and healthy enough to enjoy it.

My best friend died at 62 and only had 2 years' retirement, and she had health issues for most of that time. Sad

StopPOP · 01/07/2018 21:42

Yes, because private pensions have proved ultra secure Hmm

Oldbutstillgotit · 01/07/2018 21:43

Racecardriver you are talking complete nonsense and really need to educate yourself about the SP before you start spouting.

Train101 · 01/07/2018 21:46

I can see his panic of how he income will drop and how much more financial pressure will be on him as you will most likely have the same expenses but not as much income.
But you deserve to retire so screw that

TeasndToast · 01/07/2018 21:46

Not the sharpest pencil in the box are you racecar? Back to school for you!

Jaxhog · 01/07/2018 21:46

So @racecardriver, you don't think anyone should retire then? Because if you think you're paying towards your own pension through taxes, then you're as deluded as you claim we are!

Op - retire - you deserve it.

Mrsmadevans · 01/07/2018 21:50

Lewis Hamilton , you are talking rubbish

Original poster
CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 21:53

Thank you. All of you who have ‘got it’. Racecardriver - you are a fud.

OP posts:
ChinkChink · 01/07/2018 21:53

Tonight I said to my DH, I may just see if I can put my hours down to a 3 day week.

Erm, who made him the boss of you OP?

Chewbecca · 01/07/2018 21:56

Of course it is ok for you to retire now.

DH and I talk about retirement quite frequently and how we'll adjust our spending and how we could stagger the dates. Have you not talked about this before?

UpstartCrow · 01/07/2018 21:59

Tell him he sounds bitter and enjoy your partial retirement.

maras2 · 01/07/2018 22:00

Can't argue with stupid Confused < racecardriver > That's you.

sprinklesandsauce · 01/07/2018 22:05

Op, going down to 3 days sounds great if you can afford it. Your DH sounds like a spoiled brat, sulking because you won’t have to work full time any more while he still has to. Poor diddums. You being older, have done your time.

My lovely aunt deferred her SP from 60 to 65 to retire when her H did. Just before retirement, He was diagnosed with cancer, died a month later. My aunt was diagnosed just before her 65th birthday. She died a year later.

She never got to enjoy her retirement or spend either her SP or her private pension.

You’ve more than paid your dues to claim your pension. Enjoy your life while you can.

Mrsmadevans · 01/07/2018 22:06

I retired first and DH retired 6 months after me
We love it , as for money well there are no pockets in shrouds

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 01/07/2018 22:06

My husband retired last year. He is 20+ years older than me, so we may never be retired together. Obviously we had to reconsider our finances given that our children are still youngish, but I would never have dreamed of forcing him to carry on working, that would just be mean-spirited.
I like being the main earner, I like having him around (I work from home so we are together a lot) and I'm glad that his health has improved since he retired. I'm a tiny bit jealous, but that doesn't mean I begrudge him his retirement at all. I want him to be happy and well.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 01/07/2018 22:09

Your husband is wrong! I find it hard to believe he has only just realised the impact of your age gap. He is being a selfish arse, do what suits you.

I'm 14 years younger than my dh, the difference in our retirement ages has always been a consideration and it does affect us, fincancial planing etc is more tricky. I don't want dh to continue working though, he plans to retire at 60 when I will probably not be able to retire until 20 years after him.

Ilovelblue · 01/07/2018 22:10

I took early retirement/voluntary redundancy last year and my financial advisor factored in my state pension (a few years away yet) when working out how much money I would have to live off. I'm amazed anyone would think you wouldn't claim their state pension.

Ilovelblue · 01/07/2018 22:11

Meant to say, you should go for it. Your husband really has only thought of this from his point of view.

Pinook · 01/07/2018 22:12

Enjoy your retirement or going down to 3 days, you have earnt it!