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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Retirement - really?

91 replies

CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 20:37

I am coming up for retirement age next spring. I’ve worked ever since I was a 14-year-old Saturday girl, and worked all through my three years at uni.
Tonight I said to my DH, I may just see if I can put my hours down to a 3 day week. Those wages, plus my state pension, will see me bringing in the same money.
However, if the boss doesn’t like that idea, I may just retire fully
Husband is now unhappy, thinks I’m ‘shirking’ my responsibilities and being a lazy sod.
Really? AIBU?

OP posts:
scaryteacher · 01/07/2018 22:17

Dh will retire next year from his post Forces retirement job, at almost 59. We will move back to the UK, and I will go back to work if anyone will have me. I get my Teachers Pension and my Local Govt pension at 60 but state pension st 67. I need another 7 years of NICs to get the maximum I can in respect of my state pension, given there will be a restriction due to contracting out.

BlackandGold · 01/07/2018 22:27

For goodness sake, just do it!
I must be the same age as you and I stopped full time work at age 60, did about 2 years of p/t work but then finally stopped a couple of years ago.

I hope he sees sense soon Smile

Original poster
CowesTwo · 01/07/2018 22:27

Chinkchink - you misunderstand - the people I have to ask are my employers, not my husband.

OP posts:
LighthouseSouth · 01/07/2018 22:27

@Racecardriver

Are you saying if you reach pension age, you shouldn't claim your pension?!

L0ngdriv3h000ttt · 01/07/2018 22:41

Would your employer let you work after state and private pension age, perhaps you should make some enquiries. Secondly, nobody knows what their health will be like, so it is work or enjoy some retirement. In UK it is currently 30 qualifying years to gain state pension. You have paid into the system, so of course you are entitled to retire.

teaandtoast · 02/07/2018 00:14

Er, isn't it now 35 qualifying years for the new State Pension?

Oldbutstillgotit · 02/07/2018 05:50

Yes it’s now 35 years to qualify for full SP.

Bluntness100 · 02/07/2018 06:14

Ok, so to take a more balanced view. There will be an impacr on him as you say, from no holidays, no extras, to belt tightening.

However this was inevitable, you're nearly 65. It's fair enough and normal to wish to retire at that age. If the age gap has never been an issue before, and if you've always split 50/50, then it's a change for him and maybe he just needs some time. Some folks don't react to change well.

Maybe he just needs to adjust. However he's no right to be unhappy. Bottom like is you're nearly 65 and retirement is the norm at this age and he needs to accept that.

AnyFucker · 02/07/2018 06:16

Is your husband stupid or what ?

speakout · 02/07/2018 06:18

I haven't worked full time since my kids were born- 20 years ago!
My youngest is 19 and I still work only 18 hours a week.
Suits me just fine

MagentaRocks · 02/07/2018 06:26

He is being very unreasonable. My dh is ten years older than me and is planning on going for promotion this year so he gets a better pension so when he retires at sixty I have more options. I can decide if I want to carry on, go part time or give up work all together.

Cupoteap · 02/07/2018 06:35

What age does he plan on retiring?

Original poster
CowesTwo · 02/07/2018 06:51

Employers can’t force you to retire. I’m hoping they will let me go down to three days, that’s the ideal and would have no financial impact. DH reaches retirement age when he is 67 - unless of course the age goes up again.
The poster who said he probably needs time to adjust to this is right. He takes a while to make up his mind about things, carefully considering all the angles and possibilities, so he will get there i’m sure. He has no choice really, because it’s going to happen. I don’t want to die in harness, and 50 years is enough. Thanks all.

OP posts:
L0ngdriv3h000ttt · 02/07/2018 11:53

Government keeps changing the info, you are correct it is 35 qualifying years to receive a state pension. My state pension age is currently 68, but I expect it will increase to 70. Some jobs I expect people could continue to do list 70, other physical jobs it would be much harder. Enjoy your retirement, do you have plans to travel, volunteer, caring responsibilities, hobbies ?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 02/07/2018 12:06

I am a bit late to this one but, thanks! It has made me smile.

Older people wanting to retire = selfish bastards taking young people's money so they can live cheers easy

Young people = paying for lazy old bastards.

So... where did the money us old people paid in go... oh, yes, supporting other people.

Do young people to day take any benefits ever during their lives? Do they ever asked who paid for them?

It's a bit like a facebook spat last week... local car park was being refurbed at quite a cost. One woman said she wished she could ask for her contributions back, as she doesn't drive. She had no idea why anyone would want their contributions back for the bus service she uses though...

racecardriver the point is we all pay in a little bit so everyone can benefit, regardless of their ability to pay at point of service. If you are going to froth at the mouth about old people taking pensions you REALLY need to move to America or Australia, or any other country that does not have a comprehensive welfare state. Then you can pay all those lovely taxes on top of every purchase, pay for your own medical care etc etc etc, And no moaning if you don't earn enough to live on... no WTC etc.

Alternatively, just read more about the realities of living and paying taxes in the UK and how they have changed over the last 100+ years! You never know, you might find yourself being grateful for what you do have... with an outside possibility that you'd stop being a dick about others wanting to retire after 50+ years of full time work!

bananasandwicheseveryday · 02/07/2018 16:43

Racecardriver, it may not be your 'fault ' that the government has 'no money's, but neither is it the fault of the OP. She has worked for many years and will have been paying taxes AND National Insurance throughout. She has almost reached the age where she is entitled to receive her state pension, yet you call her selfish? She is not at all selfish. Whilst I am slightly younger than OP, we will both have started our working lives believing we would retire at 60, as was the case then. Like Dh and me, she probably planned around that. Then, a few years ago, the government pulled the rug from under our feet by putting up our retirement age - I have to work (and pay) 7 years longer than I originally planned. The changes occurred at a time in my life when we were bringing up our children and were not in a situation to pay more I to private pensions to find an 'early'retirement (in reality, the date I should have originally retired). And at around the same time, university fees were introduced, again, to close to when dcs would go to university, to allow us to make further provision. Like OP, I and many others have worked for many years, paid in to the system and only had child benefit out, which isn't a contribution based benefit anyway. I do not consider anyone who retires at retirement age to be selfish. It is unreasonable to expect people to pay in all those years and then work til they drop.
OP, your Dh is being selfish. He must have realised that you would retire before him. If my Dh acted like this, it would definitely have an adverse effect on my opinion of him.

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