AIBU to think we have made a horrible mistake.

[garbagegirl]

My only defence is that we have lived in flats until recently. I am 37 years old, have kept 2 children alive and thriving and I have no idea where to start when it comes to the garden.

Seriously. I feel like a proper idiot when it comes to this stuff. Where do you even begin to turn it into space you want to spend time in!? I tried planting a hydrangea. It went brown and died.

I miss my flat

Even people who have had gardens for ages lose plants sometimes. Hardy perenniels/ shrubs are the easiest. Check where the sunny /shady spots are and plant accordingly. Check for plants that have poisonous leaves cos of dcs such as eunonymous and aconitum aka monks hood. Don't be sad gardens are great! You can grow herbs in tubs/ growbags for vegs with yr dc. etc. Gardeners where I live charge £20 an hour quite expensive. Haven't u any family/ friends who could help OP?

My friend retired recently and has been getting her gardener to explain things. She says she wants to do more. I know she wont, the gardener knows she wont, and deep down she knows she wont.

Lavender?!

Noooooo, come on. I tried for ages, they repeatedly self destructed. Basil is a little bugger too.

I have lots of lavender, apparently it just didn't like me:)

Also for everyone giving the tips, be aware that new and useless gardeners are lost as soon as plants have names with more than one syllable.

Also we have the wrong type of soil. We don't know why or how, but we have vindictive soil.

Also with think that perennials are what happens when a millennial gets a fourth degree tear.

I am telling the truth:)

noodles advice about leaving for a year to see what comes up is good advice. I wouldn't use wild meadow seeds etc cos u often get weeds like fescue grass which are hard to control known as garden thugs. Meant to say rhodadendrums thingys (spelling! ) and acers need ericaecous soil so latter often grown in pots.

Yes yes library will have a ton of books on gardening and garden design. A gardener who is chatty and can help you learn what to do will be invaluable though.

Yes yes = your local

Don’t know how my phone did that...

vandreeu can get soil kits to test the soil but I'd prob ask next door neighbours what theirs is as chances are they will have the same type of soil! I only know as my mum is a gardener and I have learnt from her.

I have a plan for my (south facing) garden. The plan is:

"If you can't eat it or walk on it, it's of no use to me and aint supposed to be there."

So far I have strawberries, raspberries, rhubarb, beetroot, potatoes, garlic, a grape vine, and something that (from a distance) resembles a lawn.

Anything else is too much for me and has been dug out. I have a vested interest in keeping the rest alive as I like food.

I meant I know what type of soil I have. Need a cup of tea gardening talk is thirsty work.....

I discovered a gardener who mows my massive lawn for £25. Does it about once a fortnight.

I hate mowing the lawn.
I love him a bit.

Can you post a pic of it ? It sounds fab !

We have a small garden, east facing with soil which drains quickly.

Some successes for us have been: Acer, lavender, star flowers, climbing rose, grape hyacinth, ornamental cherry (this was supposed to be small but has grown too big for our space!), honeysuckle, budleia, geraniums, ferns. All have been very low maintenance and not needed much beyond the initial watering period when first planted.

We also have some herbs in pots on the patio.

Allabitmuch - are you lady chatterley?

Vandree it sounds a bit like our garden. We have clay soil with really fast drainage.

Pinterest is your friend when it comes to gardening. We had never had a garden before we got one either. I love gardening now.

I was once working on a project and one of the construction team was a landscape architect, he was lovely and we went out for a drink (this was before I met dh) and he sat and did a sketch for a new design for my garden.. and it transformed my life! He did a sort of rectangular path around the lawn with a path leading up to the where the tree was at the back, with beds down both sides and at back (other than where path leading away to tree was), wavy bamboo at the back of the garden and various amazing smelly plants for each side, and a patio near the house. It looked lovely, all weather.

I also once knew someone with a garden which sounded like yours, 3 lawns - he did 3 circular lawns so you could walk down the middle all lawn, but each circular lawn thing sort of came in to make a circular shape, lots of lovely plants - a patio near the house, and play dens on the lawn near the house. All the lawns were completely flat.

I think get a gardener!!

Go to the RHS and read up on what your garden is like e.g. clay/chalk, East/West. Then check what plants they recommend for that. It's a brilliant website!

Otherwise, go to an independent garden center and ask. Some centers of big chains are good, but a lot of their staff know diddly squat.

I watch gardeners world a lot and pick up great tips on things. If in doubt I Google. If I were you I'd leave the 3 sections as they are but give a purpose to each one. No point having lots of flowers in the kids area where they could damage them. Make a few raised beds and get them to "help". Have an area for sitting and relaxing. An area for eating. There are great tips on gardeners world from proper gardeners on how to section up your garden.

It's not as scary as it seems. It takes a year or two to get things done and to fill a garden. It's not an instant thing. Great lesson in delayed gratification.
Bulbs are great as they come back each year. Too early to plant yet, wait until September/October plant them and forget about them until they appear in spring.
Get perennial plants. They come back year after year. Most garden centres will have a section of them or will have it on the wee labels.
Great thing about gardening is if you change your mind or a plant doesn't suit an area it's easy enough to change or move just make sure it's the right time of year.
Keep the names of the plants in a wee tub so you can double check the plants and pictures if googling.
Climbers are great for covering an ugly fence. Trees are great to draw your eye to.
Make a path down the garden with a tree and bench at the bottom. Line path with flowers.
Feel free to ask questions here if you need anything.

Work out your soil type and aspect.

Then get/borrow the RHS 'plants for places' book.

We have SE facing (hot n sunny) but on heavy clay. Things that like my garden include:

Fuschia
Sedum
Lavender
Asters
Mock orange (in one shady corner!)
Penstemon
Salvia
Verbena bonariensis for height
Rudbeckia

I've killed roses cos I'm no good with them.

Hydrangeas can be a bit temperamental until they get established.
In general they do need quite a lot of water but it needs to be well-drained. They will die quickly if the roots get waterlogged.

Walk around the neighbourhood & look at other peoples gardens. Take note of what plants are common & growing well. In my area hydrangea grow very well with no effort at all, so I was confident when I planted ours. If you are planting new plants water well until established. I think watering well in the mornings is better for the plants than watering in the evenings but if its really dry you may have to water twice a day.

Vandree it sounds like you have clay soil. Lots of extra compost will help loosen things up. Clay is full of nutrients so if you can manage to lighten some of it you will have fertile soil. Roses love their feet in mud & grow very well in clay soil.

@Vandree, sounds like you have clay soil. It is full of nutrients but needs the structure altered by adding lots of organic matter. Any healthy vegetable matter can be shredded up and dug in. Ideally it should be composted first but that takes time. Sometimes stables or farmers need to get rid of manure and bedding and will drop off a load free of charge. If you live near the sea ask around to discover how to use seaweed as a soil improver. Collect leaves in Autumn. Ask local tree surgeons if they need to get rid of leafy shreddings. Dig as much as you can into the soil and leave to overwinter. Read up on the subject and remember, the more the ground is prepared before you plant or sow the more successful you will be.

You know, summer is a rubbish time to do gardening and we're in the middle of a heatwave so even reliable plants might die if you plant them now.

Seriously OP, do a bit of reading, see what flourishes in local parks or gardens (as they'll probably have similar soils) and just kick the whole thing into the long grass (heh) till September or October, when you can bung some bulbs into pots. You really can't go wrong with spring bulbs in pots. They even come up if you plant them upside down!

Lawn isn't bad for a beginner really and if you've got a toddler serious gardening isn't going to happen for a while (speaking from experience - mine is now 5 and my garden is verging on neglected - I was quite keen pre DC).

That is a big plot for a novice. Join the "Gardeners World Forum" from the TV programme Friday nights, yes, chat to neighbours, see what grows in your area, assuming you have the same heatwave (are you in the UK) at least you have a good excuse not to do too much this year, do you face north,south,east,west, yup soil testing, kit, spend the winter planning. Gardeners are expensive, and difficult to come by. Well here in the SE that is.Go to nurseries as opposed to garden centres, cheaper, usually more knowledgable.