DP went mad at me for getting the days wrong.

[BillieTee]

We had something planned for tomorrow. I got the dates mixed up. Turns out it was today. It was a free event and there's a very similar (if not better) one on tomorrow. I told him I was really sorry and that it was a completely innocent mistake. I expected him to be annoyed but not to completely blow up at me.

He called me an idiot, told me his DC was looking forward to it, told me I need to be more organised and get my shit together. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and have a lot on my mind and got this one thing wrong. AIBU to feel hurt by his reaction? Or do I really need to get my shit together? I'm usually the organised one, I just made a mistake and he for some reason went nuts.

He sounds like a prize idiot. I wonder if the mother of his dc could tell you some stories or if this is a one off. We can all blow our top but it sounds like he expects you to be perfect and doesn’t care about how much pressure you’re under. He’s getting upset about you forgetting stuff for his child. Not really a great catch.

Does he have any redeeming qualities? How many hours is he working and what does he do around the house?

Hope you're ok today op

Ditto all of the above.

Please check in if you have a chance OP so we know you are ok x

Hope he comes back to apologise OP.

He needs to apologise
Hope he came back
And hope you are ok Op

@Mummyoflittledragon

it sounds like he expects you to be perfect

It sounds like she is perfect, and so he has to scrabble around to find a reason, any reason, to do the belittling and blowing up at the OP.

I don't know why the OP bothered her arse apologising. Much better to say "put a note in your own diary next time if something is important to you".

I'd be making note of any bullying behaviour from now on, and giving myself options.

He came back and crawled in to bed at silly o'clock. Still sleeping so no idea what went on last night.

Yikes. Wonder where he’s been. Hope you’re ok op. He would be on extremely thin ice with me, if not out on his arse.

What you won't recognise OP is that the flouncing off was DELIBERATE. It's intended to knock you off kilter and make you think "Oh my God what if he's going to leave me (clutches pearls)?!!!". That means that when he comes back (or wakes up in this case) you're on the back foot.

It's a game, a tactic - it wasn't a random act. He wants yo a bit confused, unsure because you'll be more malleable in that situation for him to turn it all back on you and by the end of the conversation, have you apologising to him that you got it all wrong and forgot the day...

Just bear in mind that a one off event happens just once.

If you have a collection of 'one-off' events then that's who he really is and what he's really like.

Maybe he will be totally apologetic and reasonable when he wakes up.

Maybe with a little probing you will find that there's something really worrying and stressing him (financial issues? Employment stability?) which makes his temporary loss of grip on reasonableness.

If neither of these is the case then think carefully about your long term relationship.

A not-very-nice man can keep up a pretence of being OK for a limited period. Half way through a pregnancy would be about right for the mask to start slipping and the real person to start showing through. If this is the start of him showing you who he really is: believe him, and get yourself out of there before your baby is born.

If I were you OP, I wouldn't be hovering around waiting to make amends when he wakes up.

Can you take yourself off for the day, or even part of it? That way you get some space and peace and you're not there for him to berate/sulk at.

It sounds like you need a talk with him OP. He didn’t behave well or reasonably yesterday. I also second what Hygge said. Good luck. We are all here if you need us.

I would ignore him completely until he makes the first move OP.

He'll probably want you worrying and stressing that you don't know where he was/what's going on. Don't fuel his fire by playing his twatty games.

In fact if it was me I would pretend he ceases to exist until he either apologises (sincerely) or attempts to talk.

Let him think and worry for a bit.

I would wake him up now & ask him why he is a grade A idiot?

Then fuck off out for the day on my own.

Anyone who kicks off and flounces is trying to maneouver you into being appeasing, 'making it up to him', apologising.

Fuck that. He's in the wrong, and he's the one who should be apologising and doing more to make it up to you. If he doesn't, you're being told what your place is in the relationship.

Hmm, it seems limke you disburbed his plans. The ones he hasnmt doscussed with you. Where the fuck had he been??

Is it your house OP, or is it his / joint? What does he do to help with the domestic stuff? You work very long hours and he should be doing an equal part of the housework, if not more especially if you feel tired or unwell because you are pregnant. He should not be buggering off leaving you in charge of his child without saying where he’s going. He doesn’t sound as if he has much respect for you.

Tell him he’d better get himself and his child up and out to this event today, as you will be resting. Then do actually rest, while you decide whether this man will be a good parent and role model to your baby, as well as a good partner to you.

Is the house yours, did he move in with you, or did you move in as a couple? Because if it’s yours he should move out if he won’t apologise for his behaviour and discuss any problems calmly and rationally. And seriously consider warning the child’s mother that this has happened, and that you think his shouting at you was heard by them.

@DrinkFeckArseGirls

Hmm, it seems limke you disburbed his plans. The ones he hasnmt doscussed with you. Where the fuck had he been??

Ah, why didn't that occur to me? It's a good ploy when someone wants to go out for the night but know it would cause a row or appear unreasonable in the circumstances. So he causes a row himself so it looks like his slamming out is all your fault.

I wouldn't be happy about babysitting his DC so he can go out on a saturday night. That's what really happened, when you look at the reality rather than the distractions that have been arranged.

I'd wake him up OP, isn't his kid really looking forward to going out today??

Be savvy, OP

Sounds like you are. Your DP’s behaviour isn’t pleasant.. keep an eye out & keep a mantra to yourself that it’s not you ❤️

Doesn’t sound good OP. I’m apparently lots of men cheat during their partners pregnancy.

Make sure he gets up to look after his child. Hope the first words out of his mouth are an apology!

Not seeing his issue - same event on both days so dc can still go. Hopefully he came back but you really need to take today to reappraise the situation and whether you want to be with such as spoilt man. Send him and dc to event together.