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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was your daughter on a school trip at Alton towers today?

675 replies

Zzz1234 · 29/06/2018 18:42

Was she late for her bus? did the teacher lose his rag at her in the middle of the entrance area? If so is she ok?

Can’t believe what I saw today, two girls were 20 mins late back, yes they should be in trouble but they did not deserve some teacher screaming at them, I was 75 metres away and could hear everything I felt so sorry for the girls. I was in a queue and I wasn’t talking about it to the other people in the queue, I was about to go over, but another teacher did.

Would love the name of the school to make a complaint to. Heat is not an excuse, I have lived in hot countries and never saw a teacher lose it like he did.

I know it’s not Aibu but posted here for traffic....

OP posts:
polarpercy · 29/06/2018 19:17

What about children on the trip who may have had buses to catch once they got back to school. 20 minutes late could have meant that children returning to the school, who been on the coach on time, missed their buses. They then get to wait around again because of the actions of these two girls. Was the teacher also screaming or had they just raised their voice?

HushabyeMountainGoat · 29/06/2018 19:18

Just because a teacher or parent for that matter chooses to shout, does not mean that they have lost control of the situation.

BehindLockNumberNine · 29/06/2018 19:18

Sometimes it is ok for a child / teen to see that their actions have freaked someone out to the extend they shout and lose control.
Sometimes they need to see the effect they have on others.
Sometimes they need to see that not everyone is in control at all times (if teacher was cool and in control I'm sure the teens would not have thought their delay was as distressing to teacher as it was)

If they are old enough to go to Alton towers, they are old enough to learn this lesson.
"Not everyone is in control at all times and your selfish actions scared us"

Orchidflower1 · 29/06/2018 19:19

20min if far too long if they are old enough to be in a theme park alone they should be back on time.

I’d feel sorry for the 25 other children cooped up on the bus. There’ll be a thread later saying “ my dc was made to sit on a coach for 20 min due to some stroppy teen Aibu to complain to school”

RavenWings · 29/06/2018 19:20

Good. Be back on time means be back on time. Not be back on time unless you happen to run out of time for that last ride you want and decide "feck the others, I'm having my fun". If you can't follow the rules, you shouldn't go.

TheFifthKey · 29/06/2018 19:21

Teachers know full well who was late because they were helping an old lady off the Log Flume and who was just pratting about with some lads from another school.

chocatoo · 29/06/2018 19:21

Selfish girls - everyone else is expected to wait for them on a melting hot day. They deserved a good telling off in my opinion.

Glumglowworm · 29/06/2018 19:21

They selfishly kept a coach full of people waiting in the heat because they couldn’t follow basic instructions. All their classmates managed to make it back on time. Of course they deserved a bollocking!

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 19:21

Just because a teacher or parent for that matter chooses to shout, does not mean that they have lost control of the situation.

This deserves to be repeated. The voice is a tool used to communicate in different ways for different situations.

MissionItsPossible · 29/06/2018 19:21

Mad to take a school trip to Alton Towers.

Why? Loads of schools go to Alton Towers every single year, we went in 1999 (year 9) and nothing like the OP happens ordinarily.

ilovesooty · 29/06/2018 19:22

If the headteacher has anything about them those girls will be banned from trips for the remainder of their time at the school.

Original poster
Zzz1234 · 29/06/2018 19:22

I agree the girls should be punished, I don’t agree with shouting at them loud enough for people approx 75 metres away to hear, easily about 200 were watching, yes we should have done something other than say ‘omg’.

I think a you need to apologise to everyone on the bus and we will talk about this later (possibly loss of prom/ next shool trip).

I don’t think shouting and making them cry and completely humiliate them was an effective method of dealing with the situation.

I am usually totally on the teachers side, but in this instance I think he was totally in professional.

OP posts:
Bibesia · 29/06/2018 19:22

But the teacher is the professional in the situation. He'd had 20 minutes to think of a suitable response

Fine if he knew they were going to turn up after 20 minutes. But he didn't, did he? So he was no doubt thinking of responses to every scenario, including the children concerned having been abducted or run away. Have you never reacted to that sort of pressure by going over the top?

happinessiseggshaped · 29/06/2018 19:23

It wont be 20 mins late either will it. It will be 20 mins plus additional traffic. It will be angry parents the other end who have been kept waiting and wont be in the least bit grateful that the staff all just worked an extra long day in sweltering heat to give their kids a good time at a shitty theme park so that they don't have to take them. They will be pissed off the coach is late.

I don't agree with shouting at individual pupils in general, but when you put yourself or other people at risk, then I think it may have been deserved.

HushabyeMountainGoat · 29/06/2018 19:23

I would be far happier putting my children in the care of someone who could maintain discipline than someone airey fairy who the kids just take the piss out of.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 19:23

it's not mine, but if it was, I would be grateful for this thread.

She would have a massive bollocking from me for being 20mn late. If they are responsible enough to go without adult supervision, they are old enough to respect time keeping.

BrendasUmbrella · 29/06/2018 19:25

Why must the bus have been sweltering? Most of them have air conditioning.

Liverbird77 · 29/06/2018 19:25

Bore off, OP. This is why I can't wait to get out of teaching. Late back...coach is late. Irate parents at pick up, kids miss public transport connections. Also, imagine the worry...for 20 mins that teacher was wondering if they were ok or if they had been abducted/had an accident or a medical emergency. A career ender, potentially... especially if they hadn't used their psychic skills to put it in the risk assessment.

RavenWings · 29/06/2018 19:25

Side note: a while back now I was on a school tour. Another school there were behaving awfully to my class - shoving, swearing etc. Spoke to the other teachers and they nabbed those kids and gave them a good bollocking (no doubt it'd seem like shouting - it wasnt, just projecting), before making them sit out the rest of the activities.

Sometimes these things need to be done OP. Kids need to know when they've overstepped the mark.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 19:25

note to teachers: don't bother with trips to Alton Towers, just let the parents deal with that, it's not worth it. Shame for the kids who wouldn't go otherwise, but teachers are human and not paid that much.

Bibesia · 29/06/2018 19:25

If anything, I'm usually the opposite to you, OP; whilst I know no-one is perfect, I generally feel that there is no reason to put teachers on a pedestal and, where they fall down on the job, they should be called out on it. But in this scenario I really don't think it's that dreadful that he shouted at these girls. Are you really sure that you wouldn't have - bearing in mind that he had responsibility for the others, it was horribly hot, and he probably spent those 20 minutes worrying desperately about all the worst case scenarios? Perhaps if those children were frightened enough to cry they'll try to be a bit more sensible and considerate next time around.

polarpercy · 29/06/2018 19:27

Why get them to apologise to the bus? They've already shown they don't care by being so late back. All apologising would have done was get them even more attention, and would it have been a genuine apology? And why mention tears now and not in the first post?

These girls caused everyone stress and hassle. If they are old enough to be unaccompanied at Alton Towers they are old enough to understand time-keeping and manners.

PeakPants · 29/06/2018 19:28

You were a long distance away to be able to hear what was said etc and that they were 20 minutes late (how did you know all that?).

As Sara Ahmed says 'a snap is a moment with a history'. I remember one of our teachers going absolutely apeshit at two pupils from our school. A well-meaning bystander like yourself could have reported that as evidence of an adult bullying teenagers. The history behind it- they were on a school trip to France and had smuggled drugs (inc class A) across the French border on the school bus, to take with other students while on the trip. But to you, knowing nothing about it, it just looks like bullying.

At 75 m you would no way be able to make out individual words, so I don't think you can comment and you should not get involved.

CadyHeron · 29/06/2018 19:29

Oh for goodness sake, really?! A teacher shouted at a pupil for holding the coach up so they couldn't leave.
Probably worried about their whereabouts too.
I'd hate to be a teacher now with the amount of complaining over sensitive people about!

MoreAndLess · 29/06/2018 19:29

I don’t thin’ it’s ever ok for someone to scream and shout at another person. It’s definitely not ok for a teacher. However It’s ok for a teacher to tell off and punish a teen who arrives back to a bus 20 minutes late.