Daughters have seen dad's penis

[whattodoaboutthisincident]

Posting for traffic and name changed.

More of a what would you do and not sure if this is an issue or not really but am a bit

My mum babysat last night and told me today that my two daughters who are 11 and 9 told her a "funny" story about their dad sitting on his willy. My first response was how on earth could he do that but she said they had both told her, using their hands to demonstrate, how big it was. As in holding their hands so far apart and saying, "It's this big!" They have grossly exaggerated that bit but I find it a bit odd that they have seen it because he was always so careful not to allow that to happen. We have been separated for many years now but right from them being babies he would ensure they never saw his genitals and even wore shorts if he had a bath with them. Due to that I'm a little worried that they are now older and have obviously seen it. I haven't been able to ask them about this as they are at his this weekend. I can't ask him about it as we are pretty much NC due to him being abusive to me both during our relationship and since we split up and he is a pathological liar.

Am I worrying for nothing (am a bit PMT ish at the moment) or should I be concerned and what would you do?

Or they 've learned something new and want to shock granny with it for a giggle.

He's a misogynist twat and was disciplined at work for being inappropriate towards the women he works with so combined with him being abusive to me then I'm just very wary.

Not good OP. You have every right to go back to SS if new concerns.

whattodoaboutthisincident You have not understood my post.

I never saw my dads and I lived with him until I was 18.
I think it was only a couple of occasions I saw my mum naked too tbh and that was probably by accident. They were fairly old fashioned and a bit prudish though tbh.

Me and DH are a lot more relaxed about this with our kids who are still young. It doesn't and wouldn't worry me.

Having said that - with your history of abuse with your ex - asking your daughters questions without leading them to answers or worrying them would be a good idea.
I'd also see about maybe getting them to do a class in personal safety. It might sink in a bit more if it comes from a professional than a family member.

imsosceptical your post was abundantly clear.

OP, please ignore the sexist, de-railing knobhead. You don’t need to defend or explain yourself to them.

Bit weird in the context that he went to unusual lengths to hide his genitals when they were little but now they are at age of puberty they've seen him naked. Maybe he was trying to hide it by sitting on it , or more disturbingly making it into a game... look I can sit on it. Make sure your girls are very clear about what is appropriate and what isn't and tell them to trust their instincts, if they feel uncomfortable they should always discuss it with an adult.

And have shame all of you, you are actually convincing this OP her kids have been sexually abused with absolutely no proof... you are completely shameful... you are destroying a fathers life by proxy and you are condemning children without an ounce of any real knowledge. What you are doing is utterly dangerous and shameful.

Becareful posters, next time it might be you xxxxx

Woah @Imsosceptical
That's not called for is it.

All that most people are saying is to ask a few none leading questions.

This is something all parents should be vigilant about and talk to their kids about anyway.

‘Vile’ is calling the OP a liar. Why are you still here sceptical?

Imsosceptical The majority of sexual abuse goes totally unpunished. What world do you live in where the women are always believed and the men never given custody. You sound bitter and stupid. Men are given custody of children all the time where abuse has happened. It is pretty standard if they haven't actually abused the child, and even they sometimes get supervised custody.

horriblesinger is on the money, all I would do is find a class on personal safety for them - they know they can talk to you if there was anything strange.

On the face of it, I reckon it is creepier that he wore shorts etc the whole time as bodies are normal but a personal safety course cannot ever hurt.

Also adding a mwah mwah kiss kiss doesn't fool anyone to thinking you are a woman you know.

Shouldn't you be wearing a superman costime hanging off a building somewhere?

@whattodoaboutthisincident

www.freedompersonalsafety.co.uk/what-we-do/children-age-3-11/

Check out this website. 😊

Imsosceptical Fri 29-Jun-18 18:03:43
whattodoaboutthisincident You have not understood my post

It's quite clear that whattodoaboutthisincident understood your post perfectly.

HorribleSinger TatianaLarina* PuddlesOfBud

I don't think I articulated my message very well and I apologise for that. I come from a horrifically abused background, I feel I resonate with all ages of abuse and all dimensions e.g physical, emotional, sexual, etc for I have been subjected to them all. I have reacted to the post in my way because I do feel that what I suffered has been very much diminished, my life was destroyed, you cannot imagine the 80's when I had no voice and if I did, who the fuck would even listen???? Now everyone wants to hear, but only so much and we still all love with that understanding. I didn't want to offend you, but you really do not know what really happened, it makes you tough and hard.

DSCs are 10 and 11 and their DF is always naked around them. I did DSD’s hair yesterday morning while I was naked (not for fun - it was very early and she’d woken me up!)

I would not consider this an issue at all. My parents slept naked & we often saw them like that, also we didn't tend to lock bathroom doors so wandered in & out at any point. My sisters & I never felt uncomfortable with that & neither did my parents.

DH & I also sleep naked & our DSes (9, 7, 4) see that when they come into our room in the morning, when we go to the loo, they also see us showering etc. DS1 actually also prefers to sleep in his birthday suit when it is hot & that is his choice with which we are fine. We just ensure they have pants on at least if they can be seen outside.

IMO, it is very healthy. It teaches them not to be ashamed of their bodies & has also led to some interesting discussions eg about periods & I feel pleased they can talk to me about it.

Am I missing something here?

Last time I checked, 50% of Homo sapiens has a penis. They are perfectly normal appendages in all mammalian species.

Why would it be in any way unusual for anyone to see one?

imsosceptical maybe you should consider that you’re not the only person in the world to have suffered “real” abuse, and I say that as someone who was sexually abused by my father. That’s why I’ve not replied directly to the OP about this, because I know I may have some bias. You clearly do too, just in the other direction it seems.

Op- I never saw my dad's. I saw my brothers once by accident. I am naked in front of my girls to from and in the shower and whilst changing. Their Dad showers with the door locked and turns his back if they walk in whilst getting changed. Trust your instincts - but it's difficult to completely avoid exposure unless you're so careful and I suppose maybe even that comes with issues.

AngelsSins

I just wrote such a massive response, then I realise, actually you are American and I and Australian and by that very fact we will never ever share the same values and ethics. I love and trust in mine and thank gawd I don't live in yours or your country, I'm blessed for that fact alone xxxx