Daughters have seen dad's penis

[whattodoaboutthisincident]

Posting for traffic and name changed.

More of a what would you do and not sure if this is an issue or not really but am a bit

My mum babysat last night and told me today that my two daughters who are 11 and 9 told her a "funny" story about their dad sitting on his willy. My first response was how on earth could he do that but she said they had both told her, using their hands to demonstrate, how big it was. As in holding their hands so far apart and saying, "It's this big!" They have grossly exaggerated that bit but I find it a bit odd that they have seen it because he was always so careful not to allow that to happen. We have been separated for many years now but right from them being babies he would ensure they never saw his genitals and even wore shorts if he had a bath with them. Due to that I'm a little worried that they are now older and have obviously seen it. I haven't been able to ask them about this as they are at his this weekend. I can't ask him about it as we are pretty much NC due to him being abusive to me both during our relationship and since we split up and he is a pathological liar.

Am I worrying for nothing (am a bit PMT ish at the moment) or should I be concerned and what would you do?

The whole' sitting on his Willy' is weird - does that mean he was sitting down naked in front of them and it got caught underneath?! I'm not keen on my dh walking around with it all hanging out infront of kids tbh

It’s odd he was so prudish about his body when they were younger. DH sleeps naked so gets up for a wee naked, gets in and out of the shower naked. My DSC have seen me naked plenty of times because the buggers insist on charging in when I’m getting changed or trying to have a bath. I’m sure loads of people would enjoy being horrified by that but they obviously don’t care or they’d stop bursting into our room and I’m only occasionally bothered because I’d like to be able to bath or dress in peace! It’s a naked body. Not shameful or disgusting, threatening or wrong.

I saw my parents bits regularly, but they are/were naturists

He was abusive to me physically, emotionally, financially and sexually

It’s a bit concerning that he’s apparently lost his circumspection as they’re approaching puberty.

Yeah a friend of mine’s parents were nudists back in the 70s and they certainly let it all hang out, but there was no history of abuse.

For me this isn't a issue, we have an open door house here, if i'm in the bath my 12 year old would have no qualms about getting naked and jumping in the bath.

Your father sexually abused you and now your children have seen his, i.e. their grandfathers penis?

*shower - we have a shower cubicles and a bath

gosh some people are seriously creepy. If a man feels to need to wear shorts when having a bath with his own baby, there's something seriously twisted in his head.

They could just be making it up? It sounds made up (sitting on it, exaggerated size).

Yearofyou, I think the owner of the penis in question is the girls' own father, the ex of the OP, who was sexually abusive to her when they were together.

Wouldn't give it a second thought. A friend of mines DD4 drew a picture of her dad nude and taking a piss! He was a bit upset as it was the only picture she'd ever drawn of him. 😁

Tinkobell

It’s a bit concerning that he’s apparently lost his circumspection as they’re approaching puberty.

Actually I hadn't thought of that aspect

I don't like that. 11 is pushing puberty and also 11 year olds mostly don't want to see their dad's penises. Especially if they aren't used to it.

I saw my dads willy a few times, my kids have also walked in on OH by accident. Kids see me naked all the time because unfortunately I can’t shower without one of their help (OH works away and I have a newborn). I think it’s really normal and kids don’t sexualise things like that.... however none of us have a history of abuse, and your ex does, so I’d probably be raising questions if I were you just to be safe.

@PuddlesOfBud dd who's 11 is going through puberty now. I hadn't thought of it like that either.

Growing up my parents were not the type to put a dressing gown on when wandering to the bathroom. We saw stuff... we lived. Not an issue... but you might talk to them about appropriate times to share stories like that.

One time we were changing at the YMCA swimming pool family changing room, with a queue of families waiting to use it. My 4 year old sees his Dad in the altogether and says in a voice filled with wonder "Daddy!! You have a MASSIVE penis!" I snorted so loud before i could help myself... we could hear the queue of waiting families giggling through the door. Poor Mr FSM was rather beetroot.

I would talk to them and get a bit more context before jumping to any conclusions one way or the other. On the one hand it's not unusual for children to catch a glimpse of their parents' genitals at some point(s) in their lives. On the other hand, the majority of child sex abuse victims are abused by close family members so you can't just assume it was perfectly innocent because he is their dad.

As they were apparently telling their gran by way of it being a funny story it doesn't sound like they were reaching out for help but I'd try talking to them in a manner that keeps them completely comfortable and see if there is anything more to it, especially given his abusive behaviour towards you previously.

Thanks everyone. I will speak to them once they come home from his. He's a misogynist twat and was disciplined at work for being inappropriate towards the women he works with so combined with him being abusive to me then I'm just very wary. They are both very protective of their dad and refuse to tell him if they are upset with anything at his house but do tell me. He then says I'm putting them up to it so this has the potential to cause lots of problems. SS previously involved as dds very unhappy there (he lives with his gf and 5 more kids) but they had very few concerns. DDs felt they weren't heard but involvement ceased. I'm wary of getting them involved again but will do anything to protect my daughters.

Cross post @Imsosceptical but I'm not sure how you get bitter and whatever from my post. I didn't know how to word the title best. Sorry if my English isn't up to your standard. Thanks too for accusing me of lying.

imsosceptical

FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT.

Fuck off sceptical (sorry for swearing OP).

Snap! 👍🏼

It sounds like they accidentally saw it and he hid it, & that's why it's funny? I'm sure if it were more sinister they'd not have spilled the beans so easily.