Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photo of nude baby

279 replies

Sailinghappy · 29/06/2018 16:28

Genuinely interested to see if I'm being unreasonable here... what do you think?

So today my husband was playing with our baby daughter in the paddling pool having the loveliest time. She just splashes around in there nude in this heat and loves it! He took a funny photo of her playing with her duckie in the water and shared it on our family whatsapp group - with both aunties and uncles. I do think the photo is cute and I'm glad they had a lovely time playing but I'm fuming because my baby is nude in this photo and she has her legs wide open!! He way she's sitting isn't very dignified and I don't want everyone having photos of that!!!

Husband thinks it's just a funny photo shared with family - AIBU??

OP posts:
NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 18:36

BaronessEllaSaturday

On page 2 slithylove shared some very typical baby photos with a nappy in. Totally cute and appropriate. Very natural poses for a baby to lie in.
Without the nappy they would become very inappropriate photographs, whilst still being a very natural way to lie or play in the privacy of baby’s own home.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 18:39

SoupDragon I think you missed the context there - there was a ‘sub-conversation’ going on where a pp claimed they would have no problem sharing photos like this of themselves as a baby on Mumsnet.

Dancergirl · 29/06/2018 18:41

My own personal view, which I know is probably unpopular, is that I don't like people posting pictures of their children online at all, I think it's a bit tacky and cringy. I think photos should be private until the child is old enough to make a decision about who sees them.

I would also be worried about posting a photo of a nude child online. Not because it's indecent but you just don't know where that photo will end up, whatever your privacy settings are.

MonkeyBrainsInPickle · 29/06/2018 18:41

My mum has loads of naked baby photos of me. I couldn’t care less. I think it’s really sad that everyone’s so parinoid these days and we can’t just appreciate an innocent photo for what it is.

ittakes2 · 29/06/2018 18:41

yanbu

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 18:42

Did she photocopy them and post them out to your family, MonkeyBrainsInPickle?

Teggun · 29/06/2018 18:42

Soupdragon once the photo has been shared once who knows where it may go?
Any menber of that group might think it's cute and send it on to someone else and ...

MonkeyBrainsInPickle · 29/06/2018 18:46

I’m sure she showed them to my family many times when the popped round. I’m a baby in them - it’s a none issue!

wagil · 29/06/2018 18:47

I know a police officer who deals with child abuse specifically, she allows no one to post pictures of her children online without her permission, even when they're fully clothed.

She thinks that people are incredibly naïve about the web, and after reading some of these posts I believe she's correct.

YANBU OP.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 18:48

MonkeyBrainsInPickle not even close to the same thing.
The internet and electronic communication is a different beast altogether.

HoneyBadgerApparently · 29/06/2018 18:52

Totally agree @wagil

nohopemate · 29/06/2018 18:52

I think its really sad that little babies bodies seem to be seen as sexualised now by so many people, not just sex pffenders.

I refuse to let the existence of sex offenders make me enter into their warped mindset of little children's bodies being sexual.

MarshaBradyo · 29/06/2018 18:55

Yanbu agree with Xenia too

MonkeyBrainsInPickle · 29/06/2018 18:56

Agreed nohopemate Exactly the point I was trying to get across.

Applesandpears23 · 29/06/2018 18:56

YANBU - we take bath pics sometimes but we don’t share them unless they are from a very careful angle with just head and shoulders visible.

Original poster
Sailinghappy · 29/06/2018 18:57

Sorry just disappeared to eat and came back to see all these messages - everyone is entitled to their own opinion (and I'm grateful to people for taking the time to comment on my predicament) but can I just clear up that the image is definitely not "indecent". My baby girl is sat up in her paddling pool giggling at her duckie. It's a really seeet moment to capture, I can see
why my husband loved the photo. Unfortunately, she also has her legs open and despite him being slightly above her and causing a shadow, I just feel uncomfortable with that image being shared / stored for future laughs at her expense when she's a teenager etc. She is not in an indecent pose, nor is her full genitalia on show.

OP posts:
Nopointinnamechanging2018 · 29/06/2018 18:58

It really makes me angry when someone who is voicing their concerns about children being sexually abused and stating their opinion on how to protect children from that gets accused of sexualising children.
No, my aim is to keep my kids safe from people that actually do sexualise children so please don't put me in the same category as those who I detest.
It's not about locking your kids up in a box and never letting another adult near them in order to protect them. Just about being cautious and not taking unnecessary risks. And being realistic. I'm pretty sure that out of all cases of sexual abuse of children very few of the victims were abused by a stranger so it makes sense to be wary of those who are close to you.

Teggun · 29/06/2018 18:58

I refuse to let the existence of sex offenders make me enter into their warped mindset of little children's bodies being sexual.

WTF does this mean ? No one is banning naked babies nor photographing them. Just don't include genitalia and definitely don't share those pics electronically!

Lizzie48 · 29/06/2018 19:00

Thank you, @Tillytrotter123 I'm wary about who I allow to look after my DDs as well. Thankfully, my DH is similarly cautious.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 19:00

It really makes me angry when someone who is voicing their concerns about children being sexually abused and stating their opinion on how to protect children from that gets accused of sexualising children.

^^
This.
It is an incredibly insulting accusation to make.

HoneyBadgerApparently · 29/06/2018 19:00

It really makes me angry when someone who is voicing their concerns about children being sexually abused and stating their opinion on how to protect children from that gets accused of sexualising children.
No, my aim is to keep my kids safe from people that actually do sexualise children so please don't put me in the same category as those who I detest.
It's not about locking your kids up in a box and never letting another adult near them in order to protect them. Just about being cautious and not taking unnecessary risks. And being realistic. I'm pretty sure that out of all cases of sexual abuse of children very few of the victims were abused by a stranger so it makes sense to be wary of those who are close to you.

This!

HoneyBadgerApparently · 29/06/2018 19:01

Sorry bold fail Confused

Nopointinnamechanging2018 · 29/06/2018 19:03

By the way OP I don't think that anyone is under the impression that your DH has done anything untoward. I think this post has just sparked a debate on a really big issue.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 29/06/2018 19:04

HoneyBadgerApparently

You might need to learn a bit more about safeguarding if you really believe that posters going into graphic details about the photo of a baby are right in any way, when the OP has said nothing of the sort herself!

Some of the posts are disturbing to say the least.

I see nothing wrong with sharing a photo of my baby on a private message to family, and see nothing right in sexualizing a baby's body. It's disgusting. If you agree with them, there's something very wrong with you.

NotTakenUsername · 29/06/2018 19:06

Oh god, ikeepaforkinmypurse is back to remind us they are scared and disturbed. 🙄

We remember love!