To think the lift is for anyone who needs it

[EeyoresEars]

Queuing up to use the lift at a busy station this week. There were about 6-8 people in front of me and I’m not sure how many behind. I waited for lift as I’m pregnant and couldn’t have carried my buggy down the long flight of stairs.

A woman who was using a wheelchair was a couple of people behind me in the queue and I heard her starting to complain, not directed at anyone, just talking loudly so everyone could hear. She kept saying she was going to miss her train because of all the lazy people who should carry their cases down the stairs instead of using the lift.

Then she started complaining about people not carrying buggies down the stairs. I kept ignoring her, as did everyone else, which I think made her more angry. She shouted to a staff member and asked what she was going to do about the lazy people in the queue. The staff member said there isn’t priority access for the lift and it’s safest for people not to carry heavy luggage on stairs if they don’t feel able to. The woman using the wheelchair kept on complaining and saying she was taking it further.

Aibu to think anyone who needs the lift can use it and if you have to queue then that’s just life?

I assumed Gryffen was being sarcastic, in that rather than able bodied people making sure they leave in plenty of time and offer assistance to people who might need ot, the responsibility should "clearly" haha be on the people already struggling to access transport. Yeah, lady in a wheelchair, perhaps you should let the woman who's sprinted to the lift go first and carry all the shopping bags of that able bodied bloke too.

At least I hoped it was meant that way...

Wheelchair or not, there is zero excuse for rudeness.

She hasn't a clue why those people are waiting for the lift, therefore has no right to dictate that she should get on first.

Plenty of disabilities cause restrictions but not to the point of needing a wheelchair.

After falling down the stairs at a station (with luggage) and breaking my foot, I always use the lifts if I feel as though I'm going to struggle.

Yanbu. It must be annoying to wait but there's more than one category of person who might need a lift.

No Feisty, women choose to have babies so they deserve to suffer, its part of Gods original sin plan

The point is that everyone else will have made it onto the train. She will probably have missed her train.

If there were several people in the queue how did the OP even know it was addressed to her anyway?

bishop

because Then she started complaining about people not carrying buggies down the stairs

presumably its pretty obvious it was aimed at OP?

or maybe there were several people with buggies? but op was still one of them.

@SleepingStandingUp I think the chosen to have babies is directed at those who commandeer spaces fought for by disabled people because they've bought a hugely impractical pram and think this entitles the to use the wheelchair space on a bus, a dedicated disabled toilet (as opposed to a loo that also has a changing table in it but thankfully most stores are now getting rid of these and building dedicated baby change rooms) etc.

Because I had three babies before I was disabled, the first two 14 months apart and all with less than 4 years between them and I managed without doing either of those things. It's common decency.

Still think it's very mean minded of the OP to then come and start a mean disability slating thread on Mumsnet- particularly if as rather spectacularly drip fed she is disabled herself.

@Bishop completely agree.

If I was in her position, with my son in his wheelchair in a huge queue waiting for a lift, worried about missing our train with pre-booked assistance or wheelchair space, that experience would have been preceded by:

• hoisting him out of his bed
• changing him, dressing him, administering meds
• hoisting him into wheelchair and downstairs in our lift
• hand feeding him
• prepping a bag full of special food and emergency meds
• using our outside lift just to get from house to driveway
• using a lift to get his wheelchair and him into the car
• arriving early to find a blue badge space
• using a lift to get him and wheelchair back out of the car
• manually lifting him in and out of chair and changing him on the floor of the van, because there is no Changing Places loo at the station
• wheeling his wheelchair with one hand and luggage with the other into the station
• battling the crowds to get to the wheelchair ticket barrier

And THEN there's the enormous queue which he wouldn't understand why he was in and would likely kick off enormously, while having to be eye level with people's butts as they barge about for pole position in the queue.

So yes, I can understand why this woman had an epic breakdown of her own manners. The exhaustion and frustration at how difficult it is just to get up, dressed, fed, out of the house and where you need to be can be seriously overwhelming.

A little kindness and generosity from the general public when you're in this situation goes such a long way to making life feel just that bit more manageable.

I think that everyone who is waiting for a lift is there for their own reasons - I don't agree that someone in a wheel chair should take priority over anyone else in this instance. We all have our reasons for wanting to use the lift - mine would be that I have a really bad back and pulling a suitcase along would make it worse, also a don't have the strength that I used to to lug a case up stairs, etc.
Also being disabled doesn't give anybody the right be rude.

She is probably very frustrated with her disability. But you also have a right to the lift with a buggy.
I do think at peak times, those who are able bodied could manage the stairs. But also people have hidden disabilities... like me.
Having said that, I sat in a disabled seat on a bus and horrible woman sat next to me... she said I should not be there. I said there was room for her and I am disabled. She actually assaulted me by crushing me very badly. I told her to stop and she was hurting me.
Some people disabled and non disabled are horrible!

Calling complete strangers lazy and shouting at staff is rude. No matter how you dress it up. Whether you are disabled in any way or not its rude and if you cant see that then you have a problem Bishop.

None of the people i know who are disabled have ever acted that way in public and they would be horrified that you think its ok for someone to do that. You do not speak for all disabled people everywhere.

Its not venting frustration its calling people names when.you know nothing about them. And expecting a pregmant woman to wrangle a buggy and child down stairs just for your benefit is selfish and entitled.

Some people disabled and non disabled are horrible

This is certainly true!

YANBU.

I was in a lift once with my friend who has a chronic illness, and there were 5 others in it. We got on at floor 0, and all selected floor 3 (where the shops were... ) We stopped at floor 2 as someone had called the lift. It was a woman with a man in a wheelchair. Everyone stayed in the lift - as they wanted floor 3.

So she and the man in the wheelchair couldn't get in.

Cue an angry rant from her about what 'cunts' people are, hogging the lift when they can get the stairs!

Stupid, entitled woman. How did she know that all 7 people in the lift were able-bodied, how did she know whether or not any of us had mobility problems. I didn't but my friend did. Even if I had got out of the lift, there would not have been enough room for the woman and the man and his wheelchair. In addition, 3 of the 5 other people were at least 70.

She was still ranting when the lift door closed and we were going up to the first floor.

As has been said, EVERYone is entitled to use the lifts.

I didn't choose to get pregnant but I did choose not to have an abortion so I guess in that way I am to blame for my 'predicament'!

This was a multi storey car park at a huge shopping centre by the way. ^

There is a total lack of understanding of what it means to be a wheelchair user in lots of these comments.

Completely agree with this @Crunchy

There is a total lack of understanding of what it means to be a wheelchair user in lots of these comments

Yes this woman was rude but it doesn't mean other adult humans should lose all compassion or ability to be kind and considerate themselves.

I think most people understand the difficulty of being a wheelchair user, but also saying there may be the reason to use the lift, even they don't use wheel chair.

And really, that member of station staff who responded to her in the way they did could have instead HELPED and radio'd across to the other platform to hold the train. Thus relieving her distress.

OP, would you have started a thread about a non-disabled person having a rant in a queue?

This thread is depressing. Predictable, but depressing.
All lifts in public spaces should give priority to wheelchairs. All of them, at all times. The helpful suggestion that the wheelchair user should have left earlier - think this through. Everything takes longer in a wheelchair. Getting to the station - must plan a route without steps and with dropped kerbs in the right place. Can double the journey length. Most other people (hidden disabilities aside) that need the lift, it is only temporary (e.g. buggy or heavy luggage). It is not your reality all day every day. I think those saying the wheelchair user should just leave ealier should be ashamed. It is attitudes like this which isolate disabled people and make leading an ordinary life extremely challenging.
While I have great sympathy for those with hidden disabilities, and no individual should ever be singled out and judged for using a lift, I do not accept that most lift users fall into this category. I see it all the time while out with my daughter in her chair - large groups of young able bodied people piling together into the lift. Or entire families with older kids. Sure, it's possible they all have a hidden disability, but the chance are that they don't. And their choices make the lives of disabled people that bit harder. If your comfortable with that, I think that makes you very selfish.

@moreandless I definitely wouldn't assume that everyone feels the same about being allowed to go first, but my dad's quite a proud guy and I think whilst he acknowledges priority where it's a reasonable adjustment sort of thing, he sort of feels a bit weird about it all. Restaurants in particular - being given the better table, more attentive service etc - I think he finds it a bit infantilizing to be fussed over like a 'special guest' when in actual fact he'd just like to be treated like everyone else. He especially doesn't like it when it's able-bodied men of a similar age to him letting him go first etc, I think it makes him a bit sad tbh. But like I say, I'm sure most people don't feel like that, it's just my own experience with one slightly grumpy man!

@bishop (in response to my question) thanks for acknowledging, I'm impressed at travelling with a wheelchair, my parents have tried a bit but found it hard so tend to stay in the UK now for holidays :(

@BishopBrennansArse

I'm content with it. I'm railway retired staff, took early retirement back when retirees who'd spent a lifetime working for the national railway kept all our union-negotiated travel benefits in retirement.

I don't know what the answer is for buses, except to have more buses. Buses here in my bit of the East Midlands (Arriva service) are nicer, better driven(!), more frequent and cheaper than where I was in Wiltshire (Stagecoach). In many ways this is the easiest time of my life.

I definitely wouldn't want to be raising kids now, though, I can't imagine anything harder.

irvine They really don't.

If you are a wheelchair user getting anywhere takes forever and the assistance you book is often not there. Other people waiting for the lift got the train, the wheelchair user probably missed it. Because she will have needed a ramp and you need to get there a good bit before the train goes.

It is easy for 1 extra person to squeeze into a lift. If you use a wheelchair and have someone pushing it you need a lot of space. And you can stand and wait at lifts as it constantly goes by without enough space to get in. But you have no choice to wait for 30 or 40 minutes while other people squeeze on.

It all takes for ever, and other people often have no idea of the realities.