To think the lift is for anyone who needs it

[EeyoresEars]

Queuing up to use the lift at a busy station this week. There were about 6-8 people in front of me and I’m not sure how many behind. I waited for lift as I’m pregnant and couldn’t have carried my buggy down the long flight of stairs.

A woman who was using a wheelchair was a couple of people behind me in the queue and I heard her starting to complain, not directed at anyone, just talking loudly so everyone could hear. She kept saying she was going to miss her train because of all the lazy people who should carry their cases down the stairs instead of using the lift.

Then she started complaining about people not carrying buggies down the stairs. I kept ignoring her, as did everyone else, which I think made her more angry. She shouted to a staff member and asked what she was going to do about the lazy people in the queue. The staff member said there isn’t priority access for the lift and it’s safest for people not to carry heavy luggage on stairs if they don’t feel able to. The woman using the wheelchair kept on complaining and saying she was taking it further.

Aibu to think anyone who needs the lift can use it and if you have to queue then that’s just life?

Mummyoflittledragon I just read your post saying your illness had been dismissed as a mental health problem for years. I have some understanding of how that feels and it sucks

SPD is awful op and I'm surprised if anyone could use the stairs. I remember being 8 months pregnant ready to pop visiting my mum in hospital. I tried to use the stairs but got half way up and couldn't manage! People thought I was in labour but I just had awful SPD!

I tend to use the stairs now when I can because I remember hating having to rely on the lifts when I had a buggy! But some days if I have to do a trip into town for something and I've been working all day (in a busy, demanding standing job) then I will use the lift because I don't have the energy left to walk up the stairs! If that makes me lazy then hey-ho 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you believe that Chouette do it for a week without cheating please.
That's a horrendous statement.

In case I didn't make myself clear it's able bodied people not prioritising disabled people I object to - visible and invisible. From experience not every person who shoves past in the lift has an invisible disability and tbh those who do often worry about others first. People with prams and large cases should also have use of lifts on safety grounds but if at all possible should consider the fact that a disabled person probably has to get there earlier for the non existent assistance and more than likely has had a shit day already. So be nice. Also some wheelchair users are autistic and might not speak or might exhibit extreme stress.

@crunchymint it's because they don't give a stuff.

SpottedCow
In a situation, where a wheelchair user or anyone needing prearranged assistance at the platform, will miss their train they should get first priority.

In other circumstances, I agree all disabilities are the same but that’s hard to that police, isn’t it? This is why wheelchair users are given priority. Their disability is visible, ours isn’t.

Yes really Samcro, you can't make assumptions like that. Wheelchair users are a disparate group. For some their wheelchair is an inconvience, for some it enables a life they couldn't have without it.

In fact, they're just like us, with different lives and opinions. I didn't realise that was controversial. It shouldn't be.

No excuse for rudeness. Many people need to use lifts _ a heavy suitcase/leg problems/wheelchair user/pray pusher/heart or other invisible health problems/ late pregnancy/sheer exhaustion etc etc. Dubbing everybody in as 'lazy' is crass. Not everybody in a wheelchair is going to be a nice person.

Mummy But I use a walking stick- that surely means visible?

SpottedCow
Just seen your post about your health and the one to me. Thanks. Sorry your struggling.

Because of my walking stick I do need prearranged assistance though as cannot use stairs without discomfort Mummy. I am sure any wheel chair user will agree that their disability and mine are equal in this situation.

Of course it enables me to have a life I couldn't have without it. Doesn't mean it's all fairy dust and fucking unicorn farts, though. FFS.

Ah yes, my mistake. You use a stick. I’m too ill to carry anything, I have contemplated it just as a visual for everyone. But it isn’t about them.

I am hoping once I’m recovered from my op will be miles better.

Spotted
Yes, you would hope so.

I couldn't use a stick either due to arthritis in my wrists and fingers. I can't use standard crutches for the same reason, I need forearm crutches.

That's not what I said Bishop.

My life isn't fairy dust and unicorn farts either, but I don't go around telling other disabled people they're horrendous.

Thanks Mummy Bless you.

I usually encounter nastiness on public transport from people who are either able bodied or invisably disabled but twice I have had disabled people give me flack for not giving up my seat, in spite of my being their first. One of them was a war veteran and he kept telling me he was more deserving because of how he had injured his leg in WW2. I look back now and think "whatever" but it upset me at the time as I was vulnerable. The other one was actually a seemingly able bodied person get upset because I would not give up my seat for someone else on the bus with Downs Syndrome.

I think society needs to give up this idea that there is a "pecking order" of disabilities. I hate the whole top trumps thing. If I had not been there first, I would have let both those go before me, and waited- I was in no hurry.

Having a wheelchair does not make my dds life easier, it just means she can move about, rather than sit or lie all day.
Not being able to ever ever walk is never going to be made easier

BishopBrennan I know. And so many on here think they can imagine what using a wheelchair all the time is like. No fucking clue.

I certainly didn't realise we were only discussing full-time wheelchair users.

In that case, I apologise. The only wheelchair users I know are part-time.

In a fairly local shopping centre to me there are lifts or escalators. The stairs are almost hidden away behind some doors, mainly for emergency use, over the other side of the centre.

So you get queues of people with buggies waiting to use the lift because they aren't allowed to take buggies on the escalators.

Asking people with buggies to use the stairs is ridiculous in most cases, especially if you are on your own.

I once got stuck on the 3rd floor in Debenhams when I was pregnant and had a pushchair. The lifts are really small (there are 2) and when the doors opened it would be full because everyone was going up. Then on the way back down it was full again where everyone was getting on the floor above. I was very hormonal and nearly in tears After a white someone took pity and got out the lift to let me in

Yikes that’s a lot of replies. Just to reply as much as I can......

First off, thanks to the poster who said I must be lying about my disability since I didn’t mention it in my first post. Are there any other details of my life I’m obliged to share at the outset of a forum post?

People saying I should have used the stairs, what you actually mean is I should have found two trustworthy looking people to carry my child in their buggy, asked them to carry the buggy and my bag, then wait with the buggy at the bottom of the stairs while I slowly tried to walk down stairs while keeping my legs as close to each other as possible in order to minimise the severe pain this would have caused. I think I have a pretty good case for requiring a lift.

Several people keep saying disabled people should have priority, when what you seem to mean is wheelchair users should have priority. The majority of disabled people aren’t wheelchair users and the stereotype of a disabled person being a person in a wheelchair is offensive and damaging.

Wheelchair users should absolutely have priority for facilities designated for wheelchair users, eg on buses. If facilities are for anyone who needs them then they are there for anyone who needs them. Whether that’s due to a disability that doesn’t require a wheelchair, being elderly and unsteady or any other reason. Again, there are many disabled people who might need lift access urgently, not all of them are wheelchair users.

And, finally, had the woman simply said that she needed to use the lift urgently I’d have been quite happy to listen to her. Instead she chose to make rude comments, including using some offensive language, about others around her.

You are definitely not being unreasonable, this lady was very rude

I can't believe some of the comments on here, I physically couldn't carry my pram down or up a flight of stairs as I'd also have to carry my child, am I'm not pregnant.

To suggest a pregnant woman should carry a buggy downstairs is utterly ridiculous.

Sometimes in shops/shopping centres I see able bodied people using the lift, when I've got a pram and need to use the lift and wouldn't have previously but you cant see people's pain for example a bad back and some are frightened of escalators. Lifts aren't there just for disabled people/pushchairs they are there for everyone.

I do not understand the comments about children being a lifestyle choice Somebody has to keep the population going, It isn't like smoking or going on holidays or choosing whether to have a dog or cat.

lalascribbles Also I think some pushchairs do not just fold down easily. I do not have children and I confess I used to be a bit ignorant and lacking empathy towards mums with buggies on transport, then I saw how many of these mums struggled to collapse them when they had taken a child out . Some of the buggies are huge right now, compared to when I was a child in the early 80s. I wonder whether those who make buggies realise how many mums buying them may need smaller ones that fold down easily?

OP
People saying I should have used the stairs.....

I can't be bothered going through every post again but hardly anyone has suggested you should have used the stairs. Ok, a few have suggested people with buggies could use the stairs but it was hardly anyone.

Almost everyone has said people with disabilities, mobility issues or those bogged down with prams etc or heavy luggage should use the lift.

You are chosing to be offended by a tiny minority of posters