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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the lift is for anyone who needs it

373 replies

EeyoresEars · 28/06/2018 06:46

Queuing up to use the lift at a busy station this week. There were about 6-8 people in front of me and I’m not sure how many behind. I waited for lift as I’m pregnant and couldn’t have carried my buggy down the long flight of stairs.

A woman who was using a wheelchair was a couple of people behind me in the queue and I heard her starting to complain, not directed at anyone, just talking loudly so everyone could hear. She kept saying she was going to miss her train because of all the lazy people who should carry their cases down the stairs instead of using the lift.

Then she started complaining about people not carrying buggies down the stairs. I kept ignoring her, as did everyone else, which I think made her more angry. She shouted to a staff member and asked what she was going to do about the lazy people in the queue. The staff member said there isn’t priority access for the lift and it’s safest for people not to carry heavy luggage on stairs if they don’t feel able to. The woman using the wheelchair kept on complaining and saying she was taking it further.

Aibu to think anyone who needs the lift can use it and if you have to queue then that’s just life?

OP posts:
Flywheel · 28/06/2018 13:28

TheOriginalEmu, for starters, I'm not suggesting that wheelchair users are forced to take priority, whether they want/need it or not. I'd like to think if somone notices someone else with an obvious greater need, then they would make way. I think it is perfectly obvious what I am suggesting. In general, yes, I firmly believe that wheelchair users should be given priority in lifts. Of course exceptions can and should be made. I hope that makes my logic a little clearer.

OrangeSamphire · 28/06/2018 13:33

People are splitting hairs over nonsense here.

It's really not difficult as an able bodied and well person to choose the stairs or escalator over a lift, at any time. I do it every single time I am out and about without my wheelchair using son.

And yet so many people don't.

Being considerate and aware that others may have a greater need than your own is just part of being a decent person.

crunchymint · 28/06/2018 13:34

If you will wait for 30 or 40 minutes to get into a lift, then you need it. But I can tell you that after lifts keep going by full, it is rare for anyone but the wheelchair user to still be standing there.

BlueSapp · 28/06/2018 13:37

She was out of order YANBU, she had no need to slag people off.

TheOriginalEmu · 28/06/2018 13:39

Yes, it is clearer, thank you. I just feel that to say that wheelchairs should always go first is a bit....I don't know the word....reductive maybe. As quite clearly there is a vast spectrum of disabilities within the wheelchair user world, and there are many other types of disability or situation where someone else should go first. I couldn't, in all conscience, go ahead of a woman into a lift who is struggling with 3/4/5 children alone, a buggy, bags, etc etc, when I am perfectly able to wait for the next lift. however, when I'm on my crutches, I would take that space first happily as standing for long periods is a problem for me. So, what i've rambled on about for about 400 pages is basically; apply logic.

TheOriginalEmu · 28/06/2018 13:39

Yes, it is clearer, thank you. I just feel that to say that wheelchairs should always go first is a bit....I don't know the word....reductive maybe. As quite clearly there is a vast spectrum of disabilities within the wheelchair user world, and there are many other types of disability or situation where someone else should go first. I couldn't, in all conscience, go ahead of a woman into a lift who is struggling with 3/4/5 children alone, a buggy, bags, etc etc, when I am perfectly able to wait for the next lift. however, when I'm on my crutches, I would take that space first happily as standing for long periods is a problem for me. So, what i've rambled on about for about 400 pages is basically; apply logic.

FeistyOldBat · 28/06/2018 14:28

No Feisty, women choose to have babies so they deserve to suffer, its part of Gods original sin plan

One part of me says this is irony; a bigger part of me says God can fuck off; another part of me says that every individual creates 'God' for themselves when they have psychosocial needs that can't be met in any other way.

What's sin? Seem to me it's something that someone else disagrees with, like the psychosocial benefits of cream doughnuts. Smile

user1496259972 · 28/06/2018 14:36

What about those with invisible disabilities in the que? How can she judge whether someone does or doesn’t need a lift? She is arrogant. I’m glad she got ignored/put in her place by the staff member.

PrivateDoor · 28/06/2018 14:36

Op there is no question that you needed the lift. However it is possible that not everyone there needed to so I guess the lady was frustrated, understandably. Just a shame she was so rude about it though as had she been more pleasant I bet people would have let her in front.

InTheLightOfTheMoon · 28/06/2018 14:41

*I assume you haven't experienced SPD?

I used struggled walking on flat surfaces with no other children and no buggy.*

Did the op say she did? unless ive missed it? still would have to do it even if I did.

Bramble71 · 28/06/2018 14:43

I believe the lifts should be for disabled persons, heavily pregnant women and those with heavy luggage. However, in my experience, they're dominated by people who are just too lazy to walk.

4yearsnosleep · 28/06/2018 14:44

I look fit and healthy but can't take the stairs as it leaves me in crippling spasms. I get odd looks using the lift but haven't been challenged about it.

Samcro · 28/06/2018 14:45

wow ive been out for hours(visiting dd who is a wheelchair user)\so nice to come back and see this delightful thread still here.
i doubt the OP lost sleep over it, I doubt she really cares.
but hey lets other people in wheelchairs a bit more.

BrexitWife · 28/06/2018 14:47

Bramble and you know that how? Just by looking at people you can tell if they are disabled?
Wow you must abilities that very few of us have then.

BrexitWife · 28/06/2018 14:47

Bramble and you know that how? Just by looking at people you can tell if they are disabled?
Wow you must abilities that very few of us have then.

runningkeenster · 28/06/2018 14:52

Yes the OP has SPD, which I also had when I was pregnant so I know how flippin difficult it is to walk upstairs with it. However, I would still prioritise someone in a wheelchair. I'm not saying you can't use the lift but you should let them go first if there's no space for you as well.

But not if she was really rude to me, which I did say in one of my earlier posts.

But in principle yes.

And there would often be space if able bodied lazy people walked.

ProfessorMoody · 28/06/2018 14:56

You all must live in places with really rude people.

I've ever experienced rudeness while in my wheelchair. People go out of their way to let me in lifts first, even if I say it's fine. This morning, a man literally bounded across a car park to open a door for me before I got there, even though I was with my carer. In shops, the people who work there call me to queue jump or open another till to serve me, despite my protests! It's wonderful.

ProfessorMoody · 28/06/2018 14:56

You all must live in places with really rude people.

I've never experienced rudeness while in my wheelchair. People go out of their way to let me in lifts first, even if I say it's fine. This morning, a man literally bounded across a car park to open a door for me before I got there, even though I was with my carer. In shops, the people who work there call me to queue jump or open another till to serve me, despite my protests! It's wonderful.

SleepingStandingUp · 28/06/2018 14:59

you absolutely can use the stairs to take a pram down when pregnant. I use to live in a 3rd floor flat with no lift. done it with all of mine. even with a double difference between can, have to, ideal and safe to do so

SleepingStandingUp · 28/06/2018 15:01

I believe the lifts should be for disabled persons, heavily pregnant women and those with heavy luggage. However, in my experience, they're dominated by people who are just too lazy to walk
So parents with buggies need to pull then up the stairs then because you deem them unworthy

flamingofridays · 28/06/2018 15:12

Did the op say she did? unless ive missed it? still would have to do it even if I did

you have missed it, she did.

haha, have to. you wouldn't physically be able to. Seriously if I had lived in your situation I would have not been able to leave the house.

flamingofridays · 28/06/2018 15:13

Did the op say she did? unless ive missed it? still would have to do it even if I did

you have missed it, she did.

haha, have to. you wouldn't physically be able to. Seriously if I had lived in your situation I would have not been able to leave the house.

flamingofridays · 28/06/2018 15:13

Did the op say she did? unless ive missed it? still would have to do it even if I did

you have missed it, she did.

haha, have to. you wouldn't physically be able to. Seriously if I had lived in your situation I would have not been able to leave the house.

BakedBeans47 · 28/06/2018 15:17

I'd let someone who asked nicely queue jump in that situation, but not if they were mouthing off about "lazy people"
Generally if people are queueing for a lift, they need it otherwise they wouldn't queue!

This

MoreAndLess · 28/06/2018 15:21

ProfessorMoody
I've never experienced rudeness while in my wheelchair. People go out of their way to let me in lifts first, even if I say it's fine

I have to say this is how I think it is most of the time. I’m able bodied but whenever I notice people in wheelchairs or people who look like they need some help (elderly, unsteady, or people with little kids/push chairs/heavy luggage etc) I generally think that people are helpful. I’d offer to help if I thought it appropriate. It’s just a normal everyday thing that you do.

Maybe it does depend where you live 🤷🏻‍♀️ Of course there are inconsiderate people about but I like to think there are enough more thoughtful people out there to fill the gaps. I’m not sure if these threads are representative of the population at large. I think they attract people with stronger views.

My elderly Mum is always delighted how many people offer to help her with her luggage when she travels by train. Someone ALWAYS helps her and she isn’t particularly old or frail.

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