To ask your top tips for a 16 year old's party - this Saturday!!!

[loveyouradvice]

Hi... I've been so chilled about this... so much else going on from GCSEs to work commitments and sick mother ....

But I've suddenly realised I do have 70-80 teenagers turning up at our house to party on Saturday night...

DD has bought disco lights - a mate has done playlist - we're ordering range of beer and cider (and champagne for midnight when it actually turns into her birthday) with not much to munch on beyond crisps, popcorn and sweets and guacamole/hummous.... we're putting away anything breakable and covering the downstairs loo floor as we've been warned by DD and her mates that it "could get really manky".

She's lined up 4 mates to be the "bouncers" if there is any trouble ..and laughingly said all her male mates are small or tall and gentle but the two girls are pretty feisty!

We have guest list - and I'm allowed to be on the door for the first hour and then instructions to vanish so DH and I will be watching telly upstairs - and occasionally glancing out of window to see what actually is going on!

Oh and she's said we should put a "Private" sign half way up the stairs but be a bit relaxed so that only her closest mates go up to first floor. Luckily we have bizarre outside loo (70s decor!!) as well as inside one so should be enough.

They are basically nice kids... but they are 16 and demob happy after exams! And I know some of them are quite capable of getting slaughtered though DD is pretty moderate in her drinking and feeling very responsible.... but she isn't one of the feisty girls, much gentler.

So..... what are your top tips? What have I missed? What do you wish you had known before hosting teens at home?

Police at one of ours. Boys with knives at one. (the same one), drugs (that gas stuff in little canisters, possibly weed too). Loud music and hacked off neighbours.

I have reputation at the school as That Parent.

Such fun!

You’ve all scared the op off!!

Someone pass the smelling salts??

Our neighbours were delightful. They thanked me for paving the way so that when their kids asked they could give a resounding No Way. So silver linings and all that...

and actually what mermaid says below. My girls thought they could control it, but they couldn't and that shocked them. I'm not sure they enjoyed their own parties tbh. They were sober and just trying to control the crowd.

I must admit, when my DS goes to a party I send him with four cans of lager. Because it’s volume, it has a relatively low alcohol content and he’s not having to go and buy it or ask strangers outside of shops to.

Definitely rope in another couple of adults to help supervise: someone (if not more than one) will definitely get so drunk they pass out/vomit everywhere/start a fight/cry hysterically etc etc, you'll need back up.

To be honest letting 80 odd teenagers have free run of your house and garden is brave, supplying other peoples kids with alcohol is just plain dumb (they'll bring their own anyway!)

I'll await the following post on Sunday morning from another parent:

'Aibu to absolutely fucking fuming that my 15 year old dd is currently vomiting, having been supplied alcohol unbeknownst to me by a friends parent.'

You absolutely cannot buy them alcohol.

If they bring their own, so be it, but you could be in serious trouble (I presume?) if you supply it and something goes wrong.,

Our DC are now in early 20s

Please do not provide alcohol
Get the guest list off your DD with parents phone numbers
Hang around down stairs - this is not the time to try to be the "cool" parents you need to be responsible parents
Give them loads of food set out on tables in garden to try to minimise the mess indoors
Have buckets, cleaning up stuff everywhere (but don't do the clearing up leave them to do it)
Lock all the rooms upstairs and if necessary sit on the stairs -on MN giving us updates- but seriously just stopping them going upstairs
You will get gate crashers who will cause trouble

Good luck

How on earth did you agree to this!!!!
Rather you than me, ditch any alcohol as they will provide their own. Lots of carbs available even if dd protests. I'm sure there was a thread on here once about a similar sort of party....

Why would you be giving alcohol at a party to 15/16 year old kids that aren’t even yours.
It’s irresponsible and you are trying to hard to be a cool mom.

This.

Perhaps provide a very weak punch or weak shandy or something, but what are you trying to prove here? I'd be pretty livid if my 15 year old dd went to a friends party and I found out her parents had provided her with strong alcohol. And my dcs have the odd small glass of wine/shandy/weak cocktail at home on occasions so I'm not alcohol adverse. Just adverse to it being supplied at a fucking kids party.

AND with no food!

I've always wondered about those parents with trashed homes that you read about in the papers, and how they never stopped to think how it could all go horribly wrong... I think I've now found out, OP

I went to a party like this as a term. I left early as it got really out of hand. Vomit, drugs, food fights, damage to furniture, sex, crying, fighting, the police were called, items stolen. Oh and someone pooed in the pockets of the pool table.

I’m on shift tomorrow night, I wonder if you’re in my town and I end up attending!

Good luck OP. I would keep them outside as much as possible, your house will get trashed.

My sister had one when she was 16 / 17 and my parents went out for the evening. So much alcohol and so many people. Some carpets had to be replaced and some people had sex in my bed and put lettuce and raw eggs in our big fish tank :-/

They finished the night by "egging" the hell out of the whole house (outside).

The dog got sprayed painted! Didn't see the cat for a couple of days after.

My mum hasn't ever really gotten over it. She was in a bad way for a good few months after, partially because my sister didn't see what the big deal was. My dad reckons it cost him close to £5k once everything had been replaced (someone puked all over the back of the TV and another lit a fire on one of the sofa cushions).

No advice but you are utterly bonkers.

Saying that as a teen there was one lad with parents always happy for the parties and i think it meant we were pretty respectful of them and their house for it.

Have to say I think you are mad! . Did it once and never again, those nice kids got drunk v quickly on smuggled booze, it got very messy although they were v good natured....only had about 20 and that was enough!!

It seems an awful lot of teenagers. We have had parties for 30 and they have been a bit much for my nerves!!

I wouldn't supply alcohol at all, let them bring their own but get your DD to tell them not to bring spirits. When kids turn up, check any water bottles as these will almost certainly contain vodka.
I would keep the party outside if possible, otherwise your house will absolutely stink in this hot weather. I would also bring finishing time forward an hour as in my experience a lot of guests only start to think about transport home when the party finishes!

This is why I’ll never allow a house party got my kids, regardless of how lovely they and their friends are!

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/riot-police-dogs-helicopter-called-4632230.amp

The dog got sprayed painted!

I think you have to have an earlier end time, midnight max, and they all must have an organised plan to get home.

They will bring booze, drugs, condoms and lots of friends.....

Do food later, not at 8.30, but closer to 10pm. If you do supply any booze, stagger it going out. They will all grab what they want and squirrel it away to have later. We found four cans of cider in the chicken house the next day, with a confused chicken.

Have at least four adults who are not drinking, so they can drive people home, to hospital, to the train station etc.

Do not let anyone upstairs.... I repeat, do not let anyone upstairs....

Could you switch the venue to a hall/hotel/club and have it there

You don't think anyone owning / managing a hall would be stupid enough to let this event be held there do you ?

I had about 65 to my dd’s 16th a couple of years ago, this is what I did
Put at least 4 big plastic boxes outside for everyone to chuck their bottles/cans in else it ends up in the flower beds.
Put about 10 plastic bowls with sand in for fag butts as above!
Put a sign on the stairs saying no one allowed upstairs else people will go up and snogging etc, has to be for all, can’t allow a few up and most not as they all just follow each other (have assumed there’s a downstairs loo?) and out lots of spare loo rolls out.
Push as much furniture out the way, they won’t be sitting on sofas having a nice chat!
STAY SOBER!! I had to take one lad home who was puking his guts up and could hardly stand but was going to walk 4 miles home.
Have a sick bowl ready for such a car journey!
Put bottles of water/jugs of water and plastic cups out, some will be sensible and realise they need water!
Do not let it go on until midnight, everyone expects to be chucked out at 11.30 so make the vast majority leave at that time and just do champagne for the few that are staying.
Once gone do as much tidying up as possible. My floors were a sticky mess, get a mop on it ASAP.
I put loads of crisps etc out but didn’t do ‘proper’ food as just too many people.
I made my daughter message everyone on the day and say stictly no drugs, I would have thought it was obvious but it’s amazing how many smoke weed, dd was totally fine with saying that.
Think ours went well but it could have been a nightmare.
Good luck!

Oh yes - do NOT supply any booze for the party. They all bring their own and mine are told they can take 3 cans of cider etc, I wouldn’t want them to then have access to more so they go over what I’ve planned they can cope with. You will then have angry parents if you’ve supplied their kids with alcohol, rightly so.

So brave! I don't think you can supply alcohol. It feels a bit tricky as they are underage.

Id be tempted to have loads of ice lollies/ice pops on hand and not tell dd. They'll all want them once you hand them out and they are a good way to rehydrate and mostly tamper proof (unlike punch bowls etc). I'd also have loads of ice as it'll at least water things down.

I think you need way more food (some of the kids will have drank before they arrive so I'd do some early and then some closer to 10). Chippy chips and paper plates for the late shift? With stacks of bread and butter, curry sauce and gravy.

I think you need more adults with eyes on, and don't offer to be banished upstairs. I like the idea of 'guarding' the stairs by sitting on them.

Good luck!!!!