To ask your top tips for a 16 year old's party - this Saturday!!!

[loveyouradvice]

Hi... I've been so chilled about this... so much else going on from GCSEs to work commitments and sick mother ....

But I've suddenly realised I do have 70-80 teenagers turning up at our house to party on Saturday night...

DD has bought disco lights - a mate has done playlist - we're ordering range of beer and cider (and champagne for midnight when it actually turns into her birthday) with not much to munch on beyond crisps, popcorn and sweets and guacamole/hummous.... we're putting away anything breakable and covering the downstairs loo floor as we've been warned by DD and her mates that it "could get really manky".

She's lined up 4 mates to be the "bouncers" if there is any trouble ..and laughingly said all her male mates are small or tall and gentle but the two girls are pretty feisty!

We have guest list - and I'm allowed to be on the door for the first hour and then instructions to vanish so DH and I will be watching telly upstairs - and occasionally glancing out of window to see what actually is going on!

Oh and she's said we should put a "Private" sign half way up the stairs but be a bit relaxed so that only her closest mates go up to first floor. Luckily we have bizarre outside loo (70s decor!!) as well as inside one so should be enough.

They are basically nice kids... but they are 16 and demob happy after exams! And I know some of them are quite capable of getting slaughtered though DD is pretty moderate in her drinking and feeling very responsible.... but she isn't one of the feisty girls, much gentler.

So..... what are your top tips? What have I missed? What do you wish you had known before hosting teens at home?

Oh Blimey. I have been there. This is a Bad idea. Especially the booze. And the 70-80 kids. Also same age bouncers. There is nothing good here. Are you serious? Sorry to be so negative. Come back on Sunday and tell us it was brill, prove us all wrong. Feed them doughnuts.

www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/police-called-as-boozy-boys-wreck-michael-goves-daughters-15th-birthday-party-a3748291.html top tips from Michael Gove!

80 kids. That's insane. Your house will be trashed. Seriously.

Don't buy booze. They'll sneak enough in.

Surely your dd doesn’t have 80 friends?! I’m so sorry to be negative but this sounds like an absolute disaster waiting to happen.
I could be wrong but I thought you were legally responsible for what happens to minors on your property in the case of a party?
Do not under any circumstances leave the house.
Frisk them on the way in, they will bring vodka, drugs etc
There will be fights, vomiting and sex.
They will be poking around the bathroom cupboards looking for tablets.
Your post has actually made me want to lie down with a cold flannel over my face.
Back to earlier point....70-80 teens?!?!
I whole heartedly wish you luck, by Christ you’re going to need it

Ps my 16yo would definitely not be coming,even if dd was her bf, sorry

OMG Op - I did this for DD's 16th and it was absolute carnage. And we didn't provide any alcohol .. of course they smuggled it in.

We had also naively expected to be in the sitting-room eating a takeaway and watching a film. Instead of which I was calming down sobbing girls, hand-washing someone's skirt because she'd got drunk and fallen in the flower-bed and was terrified her mum would kill her, making endless toast to sober some of them up, while DH was getting water down kids who'd thrown up and preventing others from pissing in the street.

It got worse when one girl passed out after sinking half a bottle of tequila and first we knew was when an ambulance turned up, summoned - fairly sensibly - by one of her mates. Unfortunately this girl's parents were abroad for the weekend and I didn't feel happy giving her 18-yr-old sister the responsibility so then sat up all night to make sure she didn't choke on her vomit.

These were normally lovely, polite, well-educated well brought up kids. Just as a PP said, they left thanking us for having them, apologising for the mess and one said to me "I've had a lovely time and hope you have too Mrs highlandcoo"

I'd bet any money you are in for a shock Op.

Oh. and we had to throw out the entire carpet from the bottom floor of the house.

Oh, and somehow one of them got into DS's bedroom and peed all over all his clothes in the wardrobe. I don't think it was malicious; presumably they mistook it for a very small toilet.

Insane to have no food and so many kids. Order masses of cheap carb based food and have abundant soft drink available. They will be blind drunk after the first hour of you don't feed them.

OP I suspect you have gone for a lie down 😬
Sounds pretty grim doesn’t it

Our school held a talk on navigating the teenage party scene and suggested having at least 4 adults present. If.a child needs to be taken somewhere (non ambulance emergency) you need an adult driving them, an adult with them possibly in the back of the car and adults to stay in the house, Garlic bread is very popular & it and pizza give you an excuse for going in and out of the party. Lots of blankets/rugs in the garden, black bags for rubbish & a container for recyclable cans etc As it’s so dry think about the fire risk in the garden too, not sure how popular smoking is amongst your daughter’s friends.

Could you switch the venue to a hall/hotel/club and have it there. You'll have more security, probably a paid bar so the booze won't be on tap and they won't serve it to under 18's anyway.

If you can't switch venues then rope in more adults to serve as bouncers, ditch the alcohol and serve pizzas & carbs and cut the guest list.

You need puke points ( buckets strewn about the place a'la Peep Show)

Keep a steady flow of chips coming out of the oven.

Lock bedrooms as there will be shagging attempted.

Same probably with bathrooms- you want to make sure there are no couples locking themselves in there, forcing people to relieve themselves in the garden. How many loos do you have?

Definitely ban red wine or any other drink that stains.

Clear the largest room and make it the most inviting room to hang out in- huge cushions on the floor, lots of booze, low level lighting, etc.

You are brave!! I would get in carby food too to soak
Up the booze. Good luck!

Blimey that's a lot of kids. My DD has been to a few parties like this. The most successful had a huge adult martial art expert on the door, searching bags, removing drugs and generally keeping everyone in line. There was booze but it didn't get stupid like some parties.

Good luck. I keep refusing to host these parties. DD recentky said to me "when I'm older with teens I want my house to be the party house for them and all their mates". I will remind her of that in 25/30 years.

If I were you I'd make an appearance later in the evening (possibly bring out some hot pizzas) chips & dip is not enough to soak
Up the alcohol.

There will be gatecrashers

They will bring their own drink

But it will be ok in the end, hope she has a lovely time!
(Lock your booze cabinet/wine rack or take away all your own from downstairs)

Oh op 80 kids?! There will be gatecrashers friends will tell their friends and so on and this number will grow.
I really would advise not providing alcohol- do the parents of all underage kids know that you are planning on doing this- I would not be happy if my 16 yo was coming home drunk and I found out that you’d given it to them.
I went to a couple of parties that got out of hand because of gatecrashers both houses got trashed and one friend house someone stole all their important documents out of cabinet so passports, mortgage docs etc all gone god knows why but definitely lock up valuables and important bits op.
Good luck

Ds1 went to a huge party last weekend. Glad you've decided on pizzas. You sound a bit unaware.

Friends last weekend were very organised and his older sister and her two friends and his dad were outside asking who you were here to pick up, which is very sensible.

My daughter keeps asking for a house party 'gaff' as they call it for her 16th, I had a good chuckle when she asked. I remember house parties when I was young and there's no way in hell ones happening here.

One of the not so bad things to happen at someone's house party when I was a teen was a kid rading the full fridge and taking a bite out of every single item in there..........was funny at the time there was a whole lot worse going on at every one I went to. Funnily enough my parents didn't let me have one.

Anyway, please don't provide them with alcohol, for a start you don't know if the other parents approve. This isn't a civilised soire with them sipping on champers at midnight, this will be a down and dirty house party.

Good luck

YOU ARE MAD!😱 sorry but I think you are very naive. Mine are all 20+ now and I never allowed a house party
The nearest we came was DS 18th in a sports club. So many of them bought in bottles of vodka. There was about 50 kids invited but I'm sure there were some gatecrashers. I laid on food, pizza and cake mainly, but honestly it was carnage!
There were girls throwing up in the loos after an hour, crying, fighting, vomit everywhere.
The club was out in the sticks so at 1am we had stragglers wandering about with no lift so DH and I had to ferry them all home.
These were 'nice' kids and a lot if them grew up with DS so I knew them.
But when you involve booze it changes the whole scenario. We had to go back to the club the next day and scrub the place! We found a pair of trousers on the cricket pitch
Never again!

Please report back afterwards and prove us all wrong

Are you insane? Waiting for the post saying how awful it was and what a mistake you made.

You need to ensure that you are being the adult, and not letting DD take the reins. Whether or not she says teen bouncers/no food/no gatecrashers is fine, you need to decide what you think and set those rules.

This is madness, your house will be totally trashed, there will also be fights and sick everywhere.

Your trying too hard to be the cool mum, supplying alcohol to underage drinkers is not on, what are you playing at?

And my DS wouldn't be coming if he were invited because it doesn't sound very organised. Providing booze for 15-16 year olds. That's madness. You are asking for trouble.

I went with some friends to an end of GCSE party at her house. 10 girls. BBQ. This was late 1980s. It ended up with half the Male teenagers of the town turning up. I puked in neighbours garden. Bedlam. Police called by other residents.

My experience has made me realise we are NEVER having a teenager house party and my DS isn't going to one either

My experience (as a teen, not the parent)

First girl one bottle vodka down by 8pm being hosed down in the garden as covered in sick, spent rest of party passed out
Litre bottles of vodka easily smuggled in inside jacket pockets (you won’t want to spoil the atmosphere or embarrass your daughter by checking too much)
Lock up your own alcohol and any valuables (significant theft - teens are impulsive and its worse when drunk)
Lock up vehicle keys and any dangerous garden equipment or tools
Its tinder dry at the moment, watch matches or lights in the garden (people set fire to straw at mine).
Honestly though, I bet it will be fine and she will have a fantastic time, teens seem more sensible these days and as long as she is not naive she will have a good idea what it might be like - ask her for an honest rundown of what it was like at the last big house party she went to.

Hope it goes well op. You seem to have thought about this BUT to echo what PP have said, be very careful and wary of teen tricks. Make sure you have DD on side and even consider being part of the party no matter how "uncool" it looks.
Good luck !