To ask your top tips for a 16 year old's party - this Saturday!!!

[loveyouradvice]

Hi... I've been so chilled about this... so much else going on from GCSEs to work commitments and sick mother ....

But I've suddenly realised I do have 70-80 teenagers turning up at our house to party on Saturday night...

DD has bought disco lights - a mate has done playlist - we're ordering range of beer and cider (and champagne for midnight when it actually turns into her birthday) with not much to munch on beyond crisps, popcorn and sweets and guacamole/hummous.... we're putting away anything breakable and covering the downstairs loo floor as we've been warned by DD and her mates that it "could get really manky".

She's lined up 4 mates to be the "bouncers" if there is any trouble ..and laughingly said all her male mates are small or tall and gentle but the two girls are pretty feisty!

We have guest list - and I'm allowed to be on the door for the first hour and then instructions to vanish so DH and I will be watching telly upstairs - and occasionally glancing out of window to see what actually is going on!

Oh and she's said we should put a "Private" sign half way up the stairs but be a bit relaxed so that only her closest mates go up to first floor. Luckily we have bizarre outside loo (70s decor!!) as well as inside one so should be enough.

They are basically nice kids... but they are 16 and demob happy after exams! And I know some of them are quite capable of getting slaughtered though DD is pretty moderate in her drinking and feeling very responsible.... but she isn't one of the feisty girls, much gentler.

So..... what are your top tips? What have I missed? What do you wish you had known before hosting teens at home?

Oh god, my 16 yr old had a party at ours, probably around 50 kids, although it was winter (they still traipsed in and out).

I confiscated bottles of orange juice (laced with vodka) hard spirits

We had
Drama llama girl crying and starting trouble all the time
Drunk puking girl
Irritating kid smoking dope in garden and being argumentative
Same kid ordering pizzas to be delivered
Finding a couple getting down to it in my daughter's bedroom/ bathroom

Luckily I had friends to help me.

Crisps, pizza and sausage rolls got eaten early then chicken nuggets and chips got demolished later in evening.
Definitely provide carbs!

Never again!

my sister had a large 16th birthday party in our garden. My parents were supervising the whole time. I think you're asking for trouble by letting a bunch of teens alone with a sizeable selection of alcohol. Mum and dad provided 3 alcoholic drinks for each person and most of my sister's friends respected that rule

Ill be honest, I have no advice I'm just place marking fpr the "after" post

See, at DS1’s party the boys were far worse than the girls. Apart from the one drunk girl sat on the floor eating ice cream with her hands, it was the boys puking, passing out and pissing in the garden. The big rugby player boys were the first to fall hardest, two were asleep by 9.30.

Essentially you have a house full of drunk children. You cannot be responsible for getting them drunk, because you are responsible for their safety and well being. I can’t emphasise this enough: DO NOT supply alcohol.

Recent party my child went to an ambulance and police were called. Mine is 16 this week - he’s going with friends to Nandos.

I am really surprised at the number of people people who think it's fine to provide alcohol to 16 year olds and to be essentially helping them get wasted.

If you are going to allow alcohol carby snacks is a good idea.
Trays of oven chips maybe, or potato wedges? You want something that will fill the stomach because otherwise they will only fill it with alcohol.

I am fondly remembering my teenage years right now.-

80 might be a bit much, I’d have capped the guest list at 40 but it’s probably too late now. Hopefully you’re right that lots won’t make it, I grew up somewhere suburban so it was very easy to travel around.

Yes there will be crying and sick. These are the rituals of youth. Everyone I knew was drinking by 14/15/16, regardless of our parents, and I’m from a naice area. Those saying they’d never let their kid go to this party - they will drink! They will try things out. Better in a house than in a park (we were usually by a river) Young people need to try things and test their boundaries. We always had huge respect for the parents that let us have parties, I remember a few fondly and we always helped clear up.

But make them stay downstairs. Sounds like there’s no need for anyone to be anywhere other than your open plan kitchen and outside, so put tape across the stairs and other areas. Police it. Your DD might want you to disappear upstairs but I wouldn’t, sit in the kitchen and chat with them. I knew all my friends parents and we never minded them hanging out with us.

Don’t know about OP having the police on speed dial, if I was their neighbour I would have the police on speed dial.

Do not assume your neighbours will be lovely and relaxed, they will be incandescent with rage come midnight if champagne corks are popped. Add in a drunken chorus of Happy Birthday being sung and they will be round with cricket bats.

One tip. Do not allow your DD and guests to play football in the garden all evening, especially against a wall with accompanying screaming and bellowing. That was the final straw for me and the council were informed the following day. Que letter from council and very disgruntled neighbours replying. Their letter was hilarious, all whining about being decent people who never normally made a noise. As I had listed all the parties they had thrown in the previous six months (and there were many) this was complete bollocks.

The other tip would be when you notify your neighbours give them a mobile number to ring if they are disgruntled. Much better to sort out aggro immediately than let it fester in people’s minds. Of course they may ring you every hour on the hour throughout the night just to make a point but that is a chance you will have to take.

I should say the street cred your DD will have is worth a lot. I had a party at 16 and over 40 years later met people who attended it and they remembered it well. Especially the girl who vomited down the front path and had to be walked up and down the road to sober up!

DD had party at 16 (and 17 ,18,21 New years birthday) . My advice is to not allow anyone upstairs.
They'll try cos they'll be wanting to shag but contain them.
Make appearances during the night- your dd will want the reassurance that things aren't getting out of hand .
Have a time you agree for them to be kicked out.

Have some substantial food to soak up the alcohol that is inevitably drunk.

We had no real problems except one group of unwanted boys turning up but they left quickly . I think her 16th was the hardest one, they're so
young . But obviously not too bad as we repeated it

You're trying too hard to be a cool mum. I'd suggest lots of pizza & chips, being visible and don't let kids bring alcohol into your house.

ARE. YOU. MAD.

Those saying they wouldn't let their 16 year old attend such a thing ...... you do realise they will lie about there whereabouts if you are too strict!

Surely it's far better that they are honest with you and you discuss the drink, eating beforehand, drinking soft drinks inbetween, avoiding the drugs etc etc.

80 teenagers plus booze???

It's not your daughter's guests that will be the issue (though they will vomit), it's the randoms that will come with that many people.

And it's not that they will be drinking and snogging, it's the volume of teenagers and the likelihood of problems with a group that size.

Please report back

Those saying they wouldn't let their 16 year old attend such a thing ...... you do realise they will lie about there whereabouts if you are too strict!
Surely it's far better that they are honest with you and you discuss the drink, eating beforehand, drinking soft drinks inbetween, avoiding the drugs etc etc

BigSandy - I hear what you're saying, and I do understand the argument that if they're going to do XYZ, far better to do it in a safe environment with responsible adults in the vicinity. On the other hand, I feel that by plying children with alcohol and accepting that they will vomit everywhere, you condone the behaviour and let kids think it's all OK

Have you thought of having the hose pipe connected to the outside tap ready? Will put out a fire, shift a pile of vomit, annoy people fighting enough that they might stop....

Have you got plastic glasses? You need a minimum of real glass about. And you need a dustpan and brush handy for clearing up glass immediately, and for scooping vomit ( before you hose it...)

I would agree with a previous poster that you need another adult or two in case of emergency. I would also tell my kids that I will be pottering around. They also need a code word to use if something is going really wrong, and you need your phone on you so they can call you.

I would keep a close eye out for drugs. I live in a lovely rural place and the amount of coke around is staggering. Make sure you know the signs to look out for and have a plan to deal with it if it happens.

Good luck!

Seconding the advice to provide far more carbs (maybe leave out some sausages/sausage rolls/Samosas etc too), then chips/pizza later in the night.

Also try and water down alcohol wherever possible, and be aware they will all smuggle in their own spirits in plastic bottles, and you might need to walk around and confiscate stuff.

Mostly I'm just placemarking to see how it goes

Can't your DD have a sleepover for half a dozen GIRL friends? They could watch Pitch Perfect 3, have face masks and a midnight feast with Haribos.

No?

Ok ....

Have lots of Bins. Plenty of bins- everywhere.

I wouldn't provide alcohol it's irresponsible providing other people's underage kids with it who's parents might have different rules

so common themes here:

vodka (lots)
vomit
gatecrashers
Bouncers and/or parents unable to control door.

No sex at ours so far as I'm aware, although there was some snogging. On the street outside.

Police optional.

I was so naive I did it twice! Twice the common themes above occurred.

oh and the mess afterwards was dreadful. We had black liquid on the floors from people coming in and out and mixing with whatever was on the floor. Luckily no carpets.

People sat in the bathroom drinking. Vodka (in water bottles, or just in bottles) left under the bath. (and sofa, and in the garden).

Ditto Anna ^^.All of that list. Plus Police and drugs (and rock and roll -till I turned the speaker off).

I’m with everyone else. Ditch the alcohol.