To ask your top tips for a 16 year old's party - this Saturday!!!

[loveyouradvice]

Hi... I've been so chilled about this... so much else going on from GCSEs to work commitments and sick mother ....

But I've suddenly realised I do have 70-80 teenagers turning up at our house to party on Saturday night...

DD has bought disco lights - a mate has done playlist - we're ordering range of beer and cider (and champagne for midnight when it actually turns into her birthday) with not much to munch on beyond crisps, popcorn and sweets and guacamole/hummous.... we're putting away anything breakable and covering the downstairs loo floor as we've been warned by DD and her mates that it "could get really manky".

She's lined up 4 mates to be the "bouncers" if there is any trouble ..and laughingly said all her male mates are small or tall and gentle but the two girls are pretty feisty!

We have guest list - and I'm allowed to be on the door for the first hour and then instructions to vanish so DH and I will be watching telly upstairs - and occasionally glancing out of window to see what actually is going on!

Oh and she's said we should put a "Private" sign half way up the stairs but be a bit relaxed so that only her closest mates go up to first floor. Luckily we have bizarre outside loo (70s decor!!) as well as inside one so should be enough.

They are basically nice kids... but they are 16 and demob happy after exams! And I know some of them are quite capable of getting slaughtered though DD is pretty moderate in her drinking and feeling very responsible.... but she isn't one of the feisty girls, much gentler.

So..... what are your top tips? What have I missed? What do you wish you had known before hosting teens at home?

I have a 15/16 year old DD and I'm shocked you are thinking of supply alcohol at this party! It's a given that the kids will try and sneak some in but to openly provide it asking for trouble!

Well that’s made my mind up. My four year old is having soft play parties until his 30th.

We bro and I had a party when 15 &17/18. We live in ‘naice’ Country area. We put all the valuables in one bedroom and remover door handle so no one could get in! Even 20 years on its gone down as one of best parties ever, occasionally dad still finds beer bottles in flowerbeds that are so old must be from then. Luckily house got off lightly thanks to the prep and removing all furniture, a small tear on the wall paper, a red wine stain on carpet and a LOT of sick in the flower beds. You are v v v brave OP. (Or mad!)

OMG! I regularly have my DS' 15 mates round to mine for BBQs and sleepovers. There's absolutely no chance in hell that I would do a party for this many. You are utterly mad. Hire a hall, pronto. Save yourself a whole world of pain.

OP are you really having this party - or did you just want to elicit horror stories?!

On the off chance this is legit, I would say '70-80' is too vague. You need a guest list with the exact names and check them off. Kids will be turning up all the time so you/someone needs to be outside doing this all night. Don't take your eye off the ball. And don't let anyone in who isn't on the list, no matter how lovely they are. This is especially important if you are rural because kids will be dumped with no way of leaving, so this way you can turn them straight back again.

Also, same age or slightly older teen bouncers are hopeless because it provokes a kind of 'have a go' mentality. You need adults. These are things I would have done with the benefit of hindsight.

And whatever you do, don't loose your shit spectacularly like my poor friend did with the gatecrashers at her teen's party. Her rant was filmed and ended up all over social media - including a re-mix version.

*lose. Although it was prob loose too with the stress of the night.

OP, I hope you have recanted and are now having three nice girls for pizza and sleepover.

If not...

The vodka. Oh, the vodka. Ban it all you like, but there will still be a litre bottle hidden (in advance) somewhere in your garden/garage/outhouse/under a flowerpot. If not one litre, several of the bastards.

Confiscate all bottles of mineral water, because they won't be mineral water. In fact, confiscate any soft drink which has already had the top opened.

Do not provide alcohol. They will do this for you, despite the above precautions. And some parents will not thank you for providing it.

Nobody upstairs under any circumstances whatsoever. That includes you. You need to be lurking where you can see what's happening. Agree that guarding the stairs is a good idea.

Remove anything that can be moved. Including furniture.

Expect the entire contents of your fridge, freezer and cupboards to be eaten/thrown around the garden/thrown up.

Provide as many buckets as you like, but nobody will be sick into them. The carpet, if you have one, will be the lucky receptacle.

Provide lots of kitchen roll and loo roll because it's, like, really good fun to stick it under the tap and throw it at your friends.

Do not provide Cillit Bang or such like, as someone will drink it/get it in their eyes.

Don't drink yourself, tempting as it is to drown the awfulness of the whole event. You will need to be able to drive.

Don't rely on Ubers/taxis. Not their fault at all - but once they start turning up (sensibly pre-booked by parents/you etc), whichever sloshed teenagers who happen to be near them will tip themselves into them. Cue pandemonium.

Your DD sounds like a lovely and sensible girl, btw. Does she really want this as a birthday/post exam celebration? I have one who's just finished GCSEs. He wanted a house party here. Not bloody likely.

Sounds like a recipe for trouble with that number of teenagers. Are all the parents happy you're providing plenty of alcohol?

I would advise an adult to stay stationed on the bottom of the stairs for the whole night. I kid you not, the kids will try and sneak upstairs to the bedrooms given a chance. As it's in your house, you have ultimate responsibility for their welfare. TBH I think you're being a bit naive.

Good luck in any case!

Huge thanks for some brilliant advice.... and I'm taking forward lots of it... especially bins to be sick in everywhere! And loads of carbs. I'm already adding a couple of loaves of sliced bread by the toaster.

We know it could end up being horrendous... so have created a plan B, plan C and plan D.

Or it could be wonderfully uneventful like one of her best mates round the corner - 50 last Saturday, talked to the Mum and her top tips were definitely hide everything and cover the furniture and gently reappear at regular intervals. She had one vomitting and one incoherent on the sofa, but nowt worse.

It is the vodka that worries me most - so yes, getting DD to flag up her parents are super strict - which I gather cuts it down but not out!

The drink thing - I think it varies depending on what group you're in. I was really shocked they were already drinking a year ago - DD had a 'hangout' for 20, and having consulted the adults widely I provided one low alcohol lager or cider for each. They drank far less than this!

I suspect they will of course drink far more this time.... and they already know who is likely to get pissed (sadly) and who drinks more moderately. DD is in later camp - gets tipsy so can have fun but is the one holding people's hair back when they vomit rather than the other way round.

Yes I'm about to go through the full guest list with her ... and it will be vague... I suspect 80 have accepted but 40-80 will turn up. I imagine they are pretty flakey at this age if a better offer comes up or they just decide to hang out with a smaller group and can't be arsed to go (some live 30-45 minutes away). I do know 50-60 of them, some of them from tiny.

A huge thank you to all the parents who have been there, done that... survived and given me the best tips Really really appreciate it.... I hope I am amongst them and am NOT too mad. Not yet sure!

Oh ... and I have checked.. shockingly you can provide alcohol to kids from 6 years up in your own home!

Just wondered can you buy those coloured wristbands that are at festivals?

The ones that can't be swapped over

Or a hand stamp thing?

That would help with knowing who was on guest list and who was gate crasher?

Have the list of names and hand stamp them as they come in - or just do first 70 people and after that no more

Once you have done that - very strictly - it might make them realise not to invite gate crashers

Gate crashers are going to be your problem IMHO

Get some bouncers that are adult men - preferably large strong ones wearing Shirts with SECURITY on them

It will give impression that you/they are in control

In reality the kids are in control but hey ho your choice

Is this normal in the UK? To let your 16 year old kid and their friends get drunk at your house while you're home?

Sorry this is just so foreign to me, I'm from the US and any parents that hosted a party like that would end up talking to the police and lots of angry parents.

It's not that parties like that don't happen in the US, they do but ONLY when the parents are out of town and without their knowledge.

I wouldn't do it again. DD's 16th was a relatively tame affair with a great bunch on kids, but, they are 16 and as such cause havoc, there was still loads of them upstairs even though they were told not to, we were on the third floor in our room, which I don't think some of them realised, but had to get up every five minutes to herd yet another randy couple downstairs. The dirt was horrendous just from 40 teens dribbling beer and then walking through it, luckily wooden floor, but the stair carpet was horrendous. There was tears and tantrums, another parent turned up because her daughter had sent her a text by accident that was meant for a boy that was pretty graphic, and blamed me for not keeping an eye on her.

They were all lovely around us and ten minutes before kick out time some of the boys asked for black bags and handed them around and cleared all the bottles and cans. But my word the house stunk of a sweaty beer swilled dive of a nightclub for days.

So my advice is hand out black bags and have plenty of cleaning materials for the day after.

Rather you than me 😂 also you'll supply alcohol but not condoms? Sex is legal at 16 but supplying alcohol to 16's and possibly under (I'm assuming some are still 15) isn't... Though I'm sure that won't stop them bringing it. But no condoms also won't stop them trying to have sloppy drunken sex... Just saying
Good luck!

There's a massive difference between allowing your own child or close family member a glass of something at a family occasion, and supplying alcohol for haords of 15 and 16 year olds at a party though.
Foe example, I made up a glass of fairly weak Pimms for my dd and 4 friends who gathered here, along with their parents, before they went to their prom. No issues. I have offered a mate of ds's - who I have known for year and know the parents - a can at a family BBQ. No issues. I have offered wine at Christmas to nieces and nephews No issue. All Very different from what you are proposing.

Is this normal in the UK? To let your 16 year old kid and their friends get drunk at your house while you're home?

Not in my world, and my youngest is 16, so have a fair bit of experience.

I am pretty lax, but I wouldn't do this in a million years.

I would be concerned about the alchohol too. Not least of all because you could end up in trouble for supplying underage drinkers with booze.

60-70..... good luck

Not every party is as bad as some of these horror stories.
I've spoken to 2 parents who's dc recently held one, and they said apart from a bit of vomit outside, and having to clean a rather vile toilet, All was fine:

No one damaged anything, no one went through their cupboards or fridge or any place they weren't supposed to!

It's not just the immediate neighbours, try to restrain them from chanting & singing in the garden...we gave up trying to sleep the other nights...

Oblomov were there 80 potentially random pissed up teens there though?

I think there is a very good possibility this will get out of hand. Kids will bring their own booze to supplement what the OP is giving out. If it gets out that there is free booze.... it's open season.

Madness IMO.

Christ !!!! You are either really brave or crazy !!! 16 year olds are terrible at handling alcohol ... be prepared to clean up sick !
Please let us know how it goes OP .. best of British luck to you !!

You absolutely can buy wristbands which can't be reused. We had them for my daughter's 18th. Colour coded for under agers. Very few of the under age coloured ones were used, weirdlyunless you count the 800 or so my nephew and my daughter's boyfriend's brother each had on their arms 😂

I really would not be supplying alcohol to 16 year olds ... I know you want a good party... and it won't be your fault at all .... but when kids go home drunk ... or end up in hospital .... the parents will blame you ... you will look irresponsible even if you have the best intentions .

loveyouradvice, your DD can tell anyone she likes that her parents are "super-strict" - but the fact remains that you are allowing her to invite 80 teens for a party. I can't imagine they are all close friends of hers (and the extras who tag along for the free alcohol will be people she's never even seen). That being the case, I doubt that anyone's going to buy the "super-strict" line...

One of mine tried to tell me she needed to invite 30 "best friends" for a house party. I narrowed it down to six in the end, and even that was quite enough.

Honestly, truly, do NOT provide alcohol. You have looked into it and yes, legally you can from 6 but surely that’s to your OWN child, not people who you have no way of monitoring how much they are having. I posted earlier about the drunk boy I took home and the first question parents asked me was ‘what has he had to drink?’. I couldn’t honestly tell them but thought it was just cider (I found out after someone had sneaked in vodka). Parents were not best pleased with me and I had supplied NOTHING. They’d be furious if you had to take a son/daughter home and tell them you’d supplied x, y, z but not sure which of those they’d had. You may be fine with your child drinking, not every 15/16 year parent is. If someone slips them one of their ciders so be it, beyond your control but not if you are leaving out a table of booze. The things you feel comfortable with are not what everyone does, and I let mine take a stubby bottle of cider, some parents don’t. I walked through the party regularly, made cups of tea, got myself some food etc but you honestly can’t keep tabs on who is getting piddled in the garden.