Another childcare option

[AllCleverAndThat]

My dd is 14 and we live in a university town.

How does this sound:
We ask a student (probably postgrad for maturity) to stay at our house so dd isn’t alone when we go out a couple of times a week. Cereal plus dinner included but no visitors and no using the living room. No rent.

Just thinking of ideas. Is this U?

They are 14 and capable of being left for a few hours

She's probably safer than hanging round with 18 year olds

Why can't a 14 year old be left by themselves a couple of times a week? Why do you need a uni student to come and love with you? At 14 they are old enough to be left for a while excluding any SEN.

I don’t understand why they can’t use the living room??

She's probably safer than hanging round with 18 year olds

A mature student wouldn't be 18.
In answer to your comment I think you would need to figure out a specific contract. Said student is going to have their own life too and won't be in every weekend and evening just in case you pop out. Can 14 year old not be left for a few hours anyway? Or are you thinking overnight?

Unless you spell out that they have a childcare responsibility then they may well not be around when you are out.

I can't imagine sharing a meal with someone and they couldn't join us in the living room.

I’ve not been on a night out for years as I don’t feel comfortable leaving dd alone at night, she’s only 14. I can work long hours and I feel bad that she’s spending so much time alone.

I want to have a life too but can’t afford a babysitter but do have a spare room.

Not to use the living room as I like having our own family space. I’ll put a tv in her room.

I'm confused, do you mean let someone live in your house rent free as long as they watch your DD and don't use the living room? Seriously? She's 14!

We have a kitchen diner which is where we would take meals.

The reason it would be rent free is on the understanding there are a couple of nights childcare per week, arranged in advance.

Your dd old enough to stay by herself a few hours isn't she? My ds would be mortified if he was babysat and his friends would take the Micky big time!
I was babysitting at this age.....

Does she not have a friend who can come over, or even go to a friends?

You may struggle to find someone who is trustworthy enough and that will comply with your rules. A babysitter would probably be the same age ?

At 14 surely she's capable of being on her own. I can understand you maybe saying don't use the job, but at 14 I was left for a few hours and I survived.

Unless she has SEN obviously

Can't she have a friend over instead wouldn't she die of embarresment if you got a babysitter in

I think it’s an awful lot of trouble for a couple of nights out a week when your daughter is 14! What about space in the fridge for their own food, and laundry facilities? Are they supposed to sit in their room all weekend if they can’t use the living room? Do you have space for another car? Is the room big enough to take a desk and chair? Who pays for extra electricity?

To be honest, I think it’s a daft idea.

She's 14! She will be fine.

That's a weird proposal. Cereal and no sitting room usage?
Your dd can is about to embark on GCSEs ffs, of course she can chill for a few hours whilst you go out for a meal etc.

I was babysitting at 14 and so were most of my friends (mid 2000s). It seems insane that a 14 year old with no SEN would need a sitter whilst you go out for a few hours for dinner/drinks locally. But if you’re adamant she can’t stay home alone then why not just arrange for her to do a sleepover at a friend’s?

Your lodger/au pair plan sounds impractical at best and besides it doesn’t sound like you want to share your space so it’s probably not for you.

14 is old enough to be home alone at night. Just tell her to ring you if there’s a problem.

Your cereal and no living room proposal is also truly bizarre

Who wants to live somewhere they can never have visitors, especially at student age

Having a friend or two over would be far easier surely?

Why would someone do that for free???? 😳😳😳

I understand they can stay over but I'm sure these people aren't homeless those two nights without your 'help'. And no use of the living room? What on Earth?? 😂😂😂

I had to read it several times to understand wtf cereal had to do with the proposal and why you wouldn’t let a babysitter in the sitting room?! Weird op.

Instead of going out "a couple" of nights why don't you go out one night so you can afford a "baby sitter" for your FOURTEEN year old the night you go out

I think it’s a really weird idea. I was also a babysitter at this age. The odd night of your daughter heating up her own dinner and going to bed a few hours before you get in is fine.

Also - by the time you think about it further and find someone will likely be September when terms starts again so a whole nothing school year. Even if you think you DD is slightly too young now do you really think in September or this time next year she will be too young?

If you're serious OP it helps me understand why some kids are growing up completely over protected.