SAHM's

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To ask how parents who stay at home afford it?

My husband brings in around £2k pm and myself £1.5k pm when working full time. I'm currently on maternity leave so our income is an awful lot less, and even still would be so much worse without my maternity pay!

We already do the weekly shop at Aldi, don't spend money going out (childcare issues) and will have 1 takeaway a week - hardly big spenders!

I would love to be a stay at home mum but don't know how we would afford it!

We’re in same position; I guess it depends on your outgoings as our rent is high. Looking at people I know it’s either that their partners income is low enough that they get tax credits etc or their partners income is significantly higher

It all comes down to numbers but for us my wages would have just about covered childcare so we would be no better off, plus great for me as I love being home with my children.

It all depends on your out goings. I am a single parent and bring in less than 2k per month. However, I bought a small house in a cheaper area, run a cheap car.

How much is coming in isn't usually the problem. It's how much is going out.

I think it happens when one person earns your combined salaries or childcare costs outstrip the earnings of one parent, thus making it cheaper to sah. Not everyone has big mortgages or expensive commutes, so can afford it.

People earn different amounts and have different outgoings.

Different outgoings

Childcare costs are so high where I live. It means many people would ask your question the other way around - “how do people afford to go to work?!”

Hope you find a solution that works for you

I'm guess I'm just lucky DH brings in a 6 figure salary. I used to work but when I had DS1 that is now my full time work! ;)

We have a small mortgage,dh brings home a good wage enough for bills and spare money.If anything changed I would work but at the moment I don't have to

We have 4dc and it just wouldn't be worth it.
My dh also earns just under 200k a year so we can manage.
The logistics of child care and kids being ill and me working would be a nightmare. I wouldn't have had 4 kids if I couldn't stay at home.

For us, it was about deciding what our priorities were. We always knew that ideally I would like to stay at home if we had children, so from when we got married we lived in one wage. I was working full time, and we saved my wage every month until we had enough for a deposit for a house.
We bought a cheaper house on the edge of a less desirable area then we could have afforded, drive cheap cars, go on camping holidays, hardly ever buy take always, coffees etc.
If I worked we could get a better car, maybe an extension etc, but for this time of our lives we chose to not have those things so I could stay at home.
So glad we did - I love it!

For me it's the opposite. I can't afford to work! If I go back after maternity, the cost of childcare will be more than what my wage will cover and will eat into DH's wage too.

DH brings home £1.7k a month. So we have to be frugal (shop at aldi, only have Freeview, cook from scratch at home, £12 a month mobile phone contracts etc.)

We are in the home counties so not a particularly cheap place to live either!

My DH is a high earner, although we do also live in a very expensive city and he wasn’t always a high earner. (When our first DC was born DH was on about £26-28k I think)

We are comfortable enough that we can afford a holiday usually once a year, and we eat out fairly regularly, but our mortgage isn’t massive (for the price of our house), we run 2 cheap cars, and we don’t have any school fees. (Because we can’t afford them.) We also don’t splurge on our dc at Christmas/birthdays and they get a sensible amount of pocket money rather than an excessive amount like a lot of their friends do.

They don’t do lots of expensive activities either (but there are 4 of them so it adds up anyway I guess.)

I think a lot of it comes down to priorities in terms of expenditure, but also for us we have always made plans re:houses and cars etc based on me not working. Right from the get go we decided that we would make decisions based on me not earning as that would allow me to stay home with any future DC (DC1 came along about 18m after we were married), and also allow me to fulfill my passions by serving in charities and voluntary roles in the church rather than in a job. As a result we bought houses based on one salary etc

My husband salary is enough for us to live on comfortably, I did want to go back to work when the kids were little but my wage would have paid for childcare costs and no more so I chose to stay at home.

One person earns enough to cover everything is the obvious (and somewhat facetious) answer to your question.

Really, your question is ‘how do some people earn so much?’

Some people earn LOADS, some people live in cheaper area etc etc.

My DH and I bring in over £4K a month - our household costs around £3.5k. The remainder is our disposable income. If he earned that I’m his own I wouldn’t ‘have’ to work (although I would because I love it).

Some families (especially with several children) are left with more disposable income if one parent does full time childcare - the cost of childcare, commuting costs, maybe running an extra car, work clothes etc can be more than a wage. Obviously there's the choice to have more than one child in there, unless you have a multiple birth obviously...

Sometimes having a Sahp is not a luxury but in fact financially pragmatic in the short term, and the lower earner being able to keep their career going with an eye on the ling term is the luxury option.

We manage it because we are in the incredibly lucky position of not having to pay either mortgage or rent. If we had to pay out for that, I would not be able to SAH, I'm sure. As it is, DH is hoping I'll go back to work now DS2 is at school, but since he has no ability or wish to take part in school runs, I'm limited to what I can do in the time.
Of course, I could go back to my self-employed business but it takes time and money to set that up again, plus I couldn't do it in my own home because of trust issues. (And we moved country, which is why I couldn't continue with it in the first place).
No doubt I will have to find something though!

DH earns a good salary, we live abroad so have no family help so no other option really - would like to go back to work but I have to be the one that looks after the kids in holidays / days off . My job was in the same area as DH and we decided we wanted to see the kids growing up - I earned less so I stayed at home.

DH earns five times the amount I could. Childcare would almost wipe out my salary, plus I have Mh issues that make working (and holding down jobs) tricky.

It’s not rocket science to work out that some people can afford it though, really? Is this not just a bit goady?

For me, DH is a highish earner and I also earnt a decent amount of money, however childcare for our two, who are close in age would come to £2,600 per month if I went back full time. That and travel costs of around £200 per month would cancel out my earnings and use some of DH's.

Is it cheeky to ask in return how you will arrange childcare when you go back to work, to make sure that you aren't losing out financially in the short term by doing so?

A higher income and no rent or mortgage.

There are lots of choices in there too - a former colleague of mine had her second child rather earlier than planned when her first was 18 months and when he was born admitted she somewhat to her own surprise desperately wanted to SAH after maternity leave until both kids were at school, but they had an offer of free family child care and two expensive cars on lease, and a 5 bed "executive home" newbuild house on a new mortgage. She worked out that they could live on his wage if they downsized to a 3 bed semi and one cheaper car so she could SAH, but her husband wouldn't consider it - in his eyes they couldn't afford to. Obviously it was no more just up to her than just up to him, but she was pretty miserable when she returned to work before statutory maternity pay even kicked in.

It's all choices - if you live on one wage maybe you can't afford holidays and two cars and a bedroom per child, but if you make other choices you can't afford a parent to SAH.

If you'd have a fairly low household income on one wage you might be eligible for benefits including tax credits and those could make one option or another more affordable.

I’ve just started maternity leave and worry about this (not had baby yet).

I’m on full pay for a while but when it goes down it will be a shock. I can’t imagine having no pay at all. Although we will still have a disposable income as DH earns quite well the thought of the money not going into my account scares me a bit. Not that he is controlling in any way at all.

I think if you have twins or more than one child it makes sense to stay home for a few years. Although I know a lot of people who take the hit just so they can stay in work and keep careers going.

Many couldn't afford NOT to be a SAHP!

As others have said, it all depends on individual circumstances.

I was a SAHM for a few years (I'm back at work now the DC are older). DH is a high earner which is how it was possible for us.