SAHM's

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To ask how parents who stay at home afford it?

My husband brings in around £2k pm and myself £1.5k pm when working full time. I'm currently on maternity leave so our income is an awful lot less, and even still would be so much worse without my maternity pay!

We already do the weekly shop at Aldi, don't spend money going out (childcare issues) and will have 1 takeaway a week - hardly big spenders!

I would love to be a stay at home mum but don't know how we would afford it!

What's a high income is very much in the eye of beholder, especially on mumsnet! DH earns around £70k pre tax which is a very wage to us, we moved further out and live somewhere affordable, our mortgage is much less then our rent was. I will be working though once the youngest gets their free hours at nursery as at the moment I don't need to work and childcare fees would swallow up any money I make.

very good*

I live in the south east and earnt a not particularly high wage. Nursery costs for one child would have been what I would earn in a day. I love being at home with my boy so it was a no brainer for us. I’m expecting my second baby so will be at home for a few years. Luckily my husband is quite a high earner so we are able to live comfortably enough on his wage.

One of the parents earns enough to cover outgoings. Obviously how much this needs to be depends on your outgoings!

No mortgage, DH well paid,no family interested in helping with childcare. I'm an child and dh family lives miles away

And dh works away a lot 🙄

The answer is always the same on a "how do you afford" thread, whether it be holidays, meals out, to be a SAHM, new car, whatever.

Some people earn more.

I became a childminder to Sah with dc1 (previously a teacher, which is not family friendly contrary to popular belief) and we moved abroad just before dc2 was born.

Those may be slightly extreme solutions though

Isn't it really that one person earns enough to cover all the costs of running the family so that one person can be a SAHP if they want to be.

Pre-children, DH and I were both on a decent wage. A combination of good luck in terms of the timing of when we bought and us both making it our priority, meant we managed to pay off our mortgage before we had DC. DH's salary is still good and the fact we don't have a mortgage or rent to pay means we can afford for me to buy a SAHM despite living in a fairly expensive area.

My full time salary wouldn't even have covered childcare so me being a SAHM makes sense for us financially. My husband earns enough to cover all outgoings and I wanted to stay at home with the children anyway.

"Be a SAHM" not "Buy a SAHM" obviously!

We're older- so less mortgage. DH earns way more than I could and works long and unpredictable hours. We aren't huge spenders. No fancy cars or huge holidays. No family child care here either so it was a no brainer.

We were both high earners, but when choosing house / location we bought what we could comfortably afford on one salary. Then we used the excess to build up savings pre-children (as well as a couple of nice holidays ). I will go back to work at some stage, but probably on a lower salary, so it was important we didn't overstretch ourselves.

We could have scraped by but we both work part time to be able to do all school runs etc for our eldest and childcare costs are a bit lower with only 1 in nursery.

But mostly we both love our jobs as well as loving our children so wanted to do a bit of both.

I would find it very hard to fit a job round dh’s Strange shifts tbh. We just fit plans around money coming in.

Sahm doesn’t have to be forever. We did it when the kids were babies and toddlers, then we went back to two incomes. It was a combination of living in a small house and working opposite shifts or part time so kids had a parent at home.

I went back to work part time but childcare was the same cost as working, when we moved abroad it made sense to have one low earning person at home managing all of the home/Holiday stuff. I would like to work but it would be more expensive for my family If I insist on doing so.

No holidays,
No new clothes (unless birthday money etc used)
All meals made from scratch.
Clean my own windows can't afford window cleaner
No coffees or lunches out.
No ad hoc days shopping
Lidl for groceries.

We've prioritised having me stay at home by living off one wage from the beginning. I have worked but always around DH and the kids so not paid for childcare. My wages went towards extras and overpaying the mortgage.
We've sacrificed smaller houses, location, me driving, sometimes holidays etc.
DH has had several promotions over the years and is almost at the top of the ladder so in a good position financially.
Currently he works away four nights a week and although I could go back to work as the DC are all in school I have no desire to do the lions share and more of the household stuff and work.

We are older so already had the house and finances sorted before prices went crazy.

I always planned to be a SAHM so when we got married and set up home we restricted ourselves to a mortgage based only on one salary. We could have borrowed loads more but we always wanted the option of being able to live on one salary. Not an option if you are starting out these days unless you are super rich.

It also took us ten years of trying to become parents so we were in a good position financially by the time it finally happened and I gave up work. I'd been working for 20 years before that. Been a SAHM for 12 years now.

No kids yet, but planning for DH to be a SAHD from next year.

We can afford it because we live in an area where we bought our house for under £100k 5 years ago and since then, I've more than doubled my wage through bloody hard work so we pay £365 for a mortgage we got when our combined income was less than my entire income now. I commute 3 hours a day (1.5 hours each way) in order to live cheap but earn higher. DH has a minimum wage job so we live on my wage and save his and part of mine.

We can sustain DH not working for 5 years+ and me not working for 7 months maternity because while I've been earning more, we've kept our outgoings very low so saved all the excess we've had with our future kids in mind. We plan to both be at home in the beginning and have worked hard to afford that family time together.

Planning ahead is a luxury, but if you know you're going to want to have kids and you can avoid getting pregnant before you've got enough money to sort out childcare the way you want, it's more than doable even when your combined income is under £50k as ours is.

We'll stay in our little house until the DC's are school aged and DH goes back to work part time, then we'll upgrade to a 'forever' home once DH goes back to work.

We're in our late 20's so very much part of the generation who've been massively screwed over by living expenses vs wages. However, our parents have hammered in to us that it's much tougher now than it was when they were young and to get what we want we need to save and plan plan plan.

That's what we've done and we're now in a position to do as we like.

To ask how parents who stay at home afford it

Rich husband, full benefits of partial benefits. I'd imagine very vertpy few fund themselves.

My DP earns a little less than your combined salary so that gives us a head start over you but we can afford for me to be a sahm, have a holiday abroad and save money every month despite the ridiculous South East rent we pay.

BUT we can't afford to buy for the time being and won't until I go back to work (probably in around 2-3 years) sahm isn't something I'm planning on doing forever.

Ultimately it depends on your outgoings. We purposely moved to a council estate to get cheaper rent. We're not particularly strict about food budget but I buy a lot of meat/fish reduced and freeze it and cook from scratch. You say a takeaway once a week isnt much but for us over a month that would be around £100 which is too much.

Thank you all for your responses!

I should say I'm not against working - I have worked for years as a full time staff nurse - unfortunately I have come to really dislike my job and feel stressed about returning!
In an ideal world I would love to work part time in a stress free job, but I am accustomed to my current wage, and so, I was wondering how those who stay at home manage.
Thanks again!