SAHM's

[xllhhx]

To ask how parents who stay at home afford it?

My husband brings in around £2k pm and myself £1.5k pm when working full time. I'm currently on maternity leave so our income is an awful lot less, and even still would be so much worse without my maternity pay!

We already do the weekly shop at Aldi, don't spend money going out (childcare issues) and will have 1 takeaway a week - hardly big spenders!

I would love to be a stay at home mum but don't know how we would afford it!

It works because it has to. With the nature of the work I was doing prior to having kids, and the uncertainty of it - the cost of childcare comes in above what I was earning during a good period of work... and my work has periods where not much at all comes in - I'd be paying childcare at least all-term-long. Add in my youngest needing endless medical appointments, therapy courses and the like and it just doesn't work so I'm SAHM as my earning potential is less... and being honest, I blooming well dislike it but it's a necessity.

So we keep our outgoings as low as we can (sorry to the goady ones wanting a good wind up but no foreign holidays unless the grandparents take the kids away, older cars, supermarket basics clothes and a really really cheap house as thankfully we got in right at the bottom of the market) and just about manage to make it work on one salary.

When I had third child I was paying to work. we kept it up for a year getting more and more into debt and one day we had the talk and I quit and DH started getting more hours. We shop Aldi watch every penny and this year will be going on our first family holiday which we've funded by getting a loan. We don't spend money socialising, make excuses for everything we possibly can and go to visit with cheap presents instead of going to any big do's that would involve drinking (ie money!) We're lucky that our kids only play football which is relatively cheap and we do cheap days out instead of eg bowling or cinema. I've struggled with mh issues a few years ago based on both money (Id love to randomly buy the kids magazines/lego or take them out somewhere cool, Id also love to do classes or join a gym or something!) and just being bored really I suppose. I adore being a sahm but you miss daily interaction/feeling useful rewarded as you do when you are an actively contributing member of society and you do become a bit introverted (all of my friends work and you begin to have less to talk about). sorry am moving off topic! Basically I don't know that many can actually afford it but there isn't a lot of options out there for childcare unless you have people to help you out. You get by and collecting them from school etc makes it all worthwhile!!

Different outgoings.

I had a job rather than a career so no hit to career progression. I was also on a low wage so when I went back after dc3 my wages were less than childcare. Then if I had to take a day off because one of the children was ill I made even more of a loss because I didn’t get paid but had still paid for the childcare.

If I’d had a career it would have been worth taking the financial hit in the short term to keep my career going but it wasn’t worth it in our circumstances.

We are careful to live within our means, don’t buy anything unless we have the money to pay for it there and then. It means the house is taking forever to renovate but we’d rather that than have loans to pay off.

Plus we have no mortgage and a big enough house that we can have two lodgers that don’t share any of our living space.

We live incredibly frugally. We shop in Aldi for £50 a week for four and a dog. We don't have super nice clothes or a fancy car. We fix things when they are broken instead of replacing them. No big holidays, or expensive days out.
Reading this it sounds miserable, but actually it was the best decision I've made. Better to spend time with my DSs and not be terribly stressed from my horrible job.
I know it isn't for everyone but it suits us.

When I was working as well as my DH, two thirds of my wage went on childcare and another big chunk on travel and food for work. I'm not currently working and so no need for paid childcare, thus our combined household income is not much less at all.

I look like a SAHM. I’m a full time carer to my two austistic children - so I get carers allowance and we receive tax credits. £3.5k a month is no small sum. We end up with about the same and manage fine including holidays, run two cars etc.

We are mortgage free due to inheritance and my husband earns an ok wage, although not huge for the area we live in. We are comfortable but don't take expensive holidays etc. We choose for me to SAH as it's less stressful than juggling childcare, sickness etc as we have no families let near.

Im a sahm, my partner earns just enough to pay the mortgage and cover bills and food (also manage to save for Christmas and birthdays for the children) (we are not entitled to any government help)
I want to return to employment when youngest starts play school but not really sure how as i will be on minimum wage and with no family support with childcare we will be out of pocket due to wrap around childcare for two youngsters and full time childcare during the school holidays! Working evenings and weekends are out of the question as my partner works unpredictable hours and also travels abroad regularly for work so I can not rely on him for childcare.

My husband has a very well paid job which he loves and has always said it’s up to me if I work or not. My DC are school age now and I’m still at home - we re expats and part time jobs here are non-existent so I do a lot of volunteer work and help at school. All of us happy so works well.

We had less income than your dh wage.
Would never have take away once a week.. Literally made a job out of getting cheap or free toys, clothes, reduced food in supermarkets... Everything in house always reduced even paint for walls, garden, plants reduced 😂😂. Holidays nothing but odd night away until built up holiday savings over two years of small saving... We don't have new kitchen. In time we have had our house and decking our neighbours have had two new decking put in we had leaking tap for years.. No hair dressers for any of us, I don't buy expensive make up just maybline mascara and concealer... Own teachers card at end of term... Etc etc.

PS we would eat out or have take away but not every week

We are low income I'm not a sahm anymore but we did things like go off grid, live frugally, no holidays, luxuries etc.
tax credits has always been a God send for us, not the huge amount people sometimes believe on these threads, but kept the wolf from the door.
I work pt now, and the tax credits still help, surprisingly went up when I started pt.
Never had any childcare, so saved thousands on that.
Very small inheritance bought us a small dooer upper, which we rented out for a while, then sold on.
Over the years have paid most of mortgage off.

Your takeaway once a week would pay a bill, or buy essentials.
Not saying you shouldn't have a takeaway btw.

its cheaper for me to be SAHM than it is for me to work with two under school age children.... given that my husband earns 3 times the amount I could and works long days with no pattern.. if I tried to work it would literally just be for the sake of working right now and actually be pretty logistically difficult and stressful, so we have chosen for me to stay at home...
No life of luxury. We are on a tight budget but it is doable we still have lots of days out and takeaway once a month...

I am a SAHM for the moment. 36 weeks pregnant with DD2. Lost my job a week before i was due to go back of maternity with DD1, company went in to administration. We live off £1000 a month which DP works very hard for! We just get by each month. I will be going back to work when this baby isn't even a year.

and yeah a big issue is absolutely no free family childcare as both our families live abroad.. so we would have to pay for any childcare for two kids which id then have to find work to fit around the hours of... and to fit around my husbands hours which are 13 hr days.. given that I only ever earnt minimum wage it would barely cover the childcare and if I expected my husband to do some of the childcare we would then be losing his much larger wage in return for my minimum wage which seems ridiculous

I’d imagine a lot of families where one parent stays at home full time earn more than 3.5k a month (which you say your household earns); either that or they would be in ‘negative’ wages if they were paying childcare out so both could work, so have made the choice to stay at home. It’s very difficult to look at people from outside and determine the state of their finances, because it depends what people are like with money, how much they save, how much they owe etc.

Unless you’re mega rich, things are still tight financially if only one parent is working. My Dh earns enough so that I can stay at home until our youngest goes to school, but we don’t throw money around- we shop in charity shops, we shop at Lidl, we haven’t been abroad since our honeymoon 7 years ago. We are very careful with money, save, pay pensions and don’t have credit cards or finance/payment plans (except for my car). We have a big house in a nice area, but we can’t afford to spend money on it whereas some of our friends with smaller houses have immaculate homes. I would consider a takeaway every week to be a luxury and we wouldn’t choose to do that; I suppose our luxury is a nicer bottle of red on a Friday night for example.

We are very lucky: tiny mortage almost paid off. One car as DP can walk to work and rarely needs a car to travel for work.

Grandparents nearish so we have free childcare if we need it.

I couldn't be a SAHM if we had a large mortage/rent to pay.

DH earns around £60k a year (self employed) but we had to move out of London to make it more manageable for me to be a SAHM. His hours are all over the place so it'd be really hard for me to work and organise the childcare around this.

I was for years. We afforded it as had a small cheap house and only one car. Money was tight at times. We got some tax credits for a while. We had 5 children some with special needs and multiple births and I was on minimum wage job so could never earn enough for childcare etc. Plus husband working shifts meant it would be impossible to work around.

Samantha have you looked at tax credits? On that salary you'd def be eligible and whilst I know people don't want to be "one of those people" but if you're just getting by, that's why the help is there

stretch Just different circles isn't it. I know a lot of SAHMs and none have wealthy husbands, they are on 25k and under and just manage money carefully.