Nanny Outfit

[Eminado]

This is my first foray into AIBU, please be gentle.

We have lovely, kind professional child carer who takes / collects our DC from/to school and nursery, and takes them out to activities etc.

I have NO issue with any other aspect of her job performance - I trust her, she is kind, my DC like her more than me etc.

The last 2 days have been very warm here and for the last 2 days she has arrived wearing a VERY short playsuit (cute, but very short) and I was wondering if IABU to mention to her that it is REALLY rather short?

I am not bodyshaming and I have learnt a lot about feminism from the boards here so I am not about telling people how to dress or one who thinks the female form should be hidden etc.

However, they are so short that I would say they are indecent. When she bends over to put the girls in the car seats you can see far more than you should ever wish to see of someone you are not in a romantic relationship with.

I just feel (because I KNOW the school mums from my time on mat leave) people will be laughing at / judging her?

My concern is almost protective. But honestly I am also shocked as they are VERY short and revealing and I would never wear that out. But that is neither here nor there. I do think they are REALLY short though.

My final point is that I LOVE her body confidence and for that alone I feel like I should let her wear whatever she likes and shut my mouth.

I am conflicted.

Please help - kindly - I am not a bad/controlling/judgey person. I just KNOW what the school gate is like (including the pervy dads etc - concrete evidence, heard them perving over the gymnastics teacher in leggings etc) plus judgey mums and/or teachers....

Would you say anything?

Why shod she quit Omgoap, because he employer is having a quiet word with her about inappropriate dress at work. If she quit every job like that, she wod never be employed!

I wouldn't mention it. I have been similarly conflicted though. A young trainee in my department wears foundation so pale that she almost looks like a clown. Last week she had it everywhere on her face bar her eyes and she looked like she was wearing a facemask. She's a pretty girl and I can't be the only one who's noticed - I just wish one of her friends could point her in the direction of better skin matches.

I can't say anything - we're not close and I wouldn't know how to. I hope she realises soon though - I think she'll be embarrassed when she does.

I think she should wear something more appropriate to work.
Then again, if I could go back to being 19 and fit as fuck, I would wear hot pants every damn day of the year!

yes i think you should say something.
She is working and therefore should wear suitable clothing.I
Just ask her to wear something more appropriate for working hours.

Met up with my friend as she dropping something to me. She bent over to get it out the car and I immediately noticed her dress was see through, and she had no knickers on! I kept quiet as I had a feeling she knew. However in your situation I think I would mention it.

@Aeroflotgirl er, no. If I were working I'd still wear a playsuit if it was mid thigh. However, my main concern would be going to the loo with children hanging off me. A faf and a half.
Poor staff at my DD's nursery are still all in black trousers. Would I be scandalised if one was wearing a playsuit. Probably not. The children would laugh at her because they could see her bum anyway.

If you expected a dress code then that should have been part of her contract when she started.
I’d think there were worse crimes than a bit of lower bottom cheek on display. Don’t throw away good childcare for a bit of prudery.

@plantingandpotting well I 100% disagree with you. And lucky you that you’ve never had a situation where you haven’t realised your skirt is tucked in your knickers or your shirt button has come undone. It’s quite easy to approach a person you know to tell them they’re revealing a bit too much without being condescending.

And why on earth would someone quite their job because their employer told alerted them to a clothing mishap?!

ffs no one is ever going to be offended if someone say's 'just in case you are not aware that lovely playsuit/dress/leggings/blouse reveals an awful lot of you that you may or may not want to reveal, rather say than have you embarrassed if you get a rude comment elsewhere' can't believe we have 110 messages about such a non event, just TELL HER

It’s not a clothing mishap though... mishap would be “excuse me, nanny your skirt is tucked into your knickers. Happens to the best of us”.

This is her choice of clothing and her judgement about what is or isn’t appropriate and what does or doesn’t look nice. So yes, she may well take offence.

OP how your employee dresses is your business, in your home and around your children!
I would talk to her.

@Loandbeholdagain Yesssss. Thank you for speaking sense and restoring my faith.

There's such a clear cut difference between a short playsuit and a blouse button accidentally coming undone.

It's laughable that people are trying to convince themselves that saying something is a charitable act of sisterhood

Presumably she’s aware how short the outfit is unless she has a serious problem with her vision? In which case it’s not your place to say anything. It’d be different if she was unaware (or dress tucked into knickers) but otherwise it’s just personal choice with a hefty dose of body confidence! Just let her be.

Don’t approach it ‘seriously’ and it won’t be an issue. Next time she bends just exclaim- ‘oh crikey! You might want to be a bit careful bending in that, I can see your bum!’ Then if it bothers her she’ll be more careful what she wears, how she moves when wearing it. And if she isn’t fussed then you can stay out of it.

Has she got a fit body?

I was on the beach a while ago and there was a young mum wearing one of these kinds of playsuits. The beach was quite crowded so when I was sitting on the sand with my DC and looked up, I saw right up her playsuit and got a full view of her sanitary towel. Lovely.

Buy her some boy short knickers?

Your nanny is an employee at work. She must look professional. She represents your family when going out with your child, collecting them from school etc. and what you’ve described is not acceptable. If you haven’t done so, a candid feedback would benefit all - your family and your nanny in first place who would learn from it.