To be so bloody angry??!

[PissyPantsNameChange]

Admitted to hospital Thursday, DM had my DS.

Friday, DM was admitted to hospital (unrelated). DF had my DS and DB's.

Saturday, I discharged (wasn't leaving until tomorrow) because DF wouldn't have been able to go and see DM if he had all 4 DC's on his own.

Dsis decided to stay in Plymouth and DB (both Dsis and DB are adults) didn't even bother answering his phone.

I'm a SP on my own with 0 help now my DM is in hospital. I've left early and now seriously regretting it, admittedly a lot of my anger is directed at my selfish siblings!!

AIBU??

Did you specifically ask anyone to come and help?

If you haven't spoken to them and asked them for help then how would they know?

DF had his 3 kids & my DC.

Dsis went away & DB decided to ignore us.

They knew we needed help, 2 people admitted to the same hospital within 24 hours of each other.

Are they supposed to know you need help by ESP?

What do your parents have the kids?

But did you specifically ask? If you want help ask for it!

So, am I right here? You are a single parent with, now, 5 children, and expect everyone to drop everything to care for them??

Really?

YANBU to think that if they could your siblings should have helped. Did you text adult DB to let him know what had happened and then he didn't answer phone? That would be very selfish on his part.

Toooldtobearsed

No you're not right. Read the thread.

So, am I right here? You are a single parent with, now, 5 children, and expect everyone to drop everything to care for them??

Really?

Well actually you're wrong. She has one child. And you point is?

toool no you’ve not read her posts right

She has one child - can people not read?

Your brother and SIL are selfish.

So do you have your brother’s children now?

I would be annoyed aswell.
I hope you and your mum are both feeling better very soon

It's not complicated her DF has 3 children (child age children that he looks after) he also had to look after her 1 child because she was in hospital. Her adult brother and sister didn't come to help her DF so OP had to leave hospital early. If she actually asked for help is as yet unclear.

I apologise. Even after re - reading, it took ages to sink in.

Age or stupidity, you pick!

Sorry OP, I am usually a really nice poster and screwed up royally here.

Hope you sort things out, and sorry again😶😶😶

Toooldtobearsed

Wow nice apology - we al make mistakes :) now I feel bad for being short with you! (Reading this back it sounds sarcastic but it isn't meant to!)

yup your brother is selfish. remind him of this day the next time he asks for a favour.

NomNomNomNom, not at all - I screwed up and you called me on it - fair play 😁

Thing is, i am usually bloody scrupulous in reading posts properly, so, shame on me!

So you have one child and you have younger brothers who your dad was looking after alone...

But your grown up brother and sister haven't bothered to offer any help whilst you and your mum have both been in HOSPITAL?

I wouldn't expect regular help with my kids but if I was in hospital then I would at least expect an offer!

Yanbu!

On the face of it, it sounds like you have every right to be angry/disappointed with your siblings.

• You are a single mum of one. You took ill and needed to be hospitalised. Your DM helped you out by looking after your DC, alongside her other three child-aged children.
• Then your DM was hospitalised as well, the very next day. Your DF left in charge of the four kids, your one and his three.
• But your DF needed to visit your DM in hospital and could not do so with four children in tow.
• Nobody available to help. DF/DM might have friends/other family that could have helped, but didn't. DF/DM have two further adult children who couldn't be bothered to change plans despite it being an emergency. Or in one case, couldn't even be bothered to answer the phone.
• As a result, you had to discharge yourself early from hospital to look after your own DC and your three young siblings whilst DM is in hospital so that DF can visit her.

Unless there is a massive back story YANBU at all.

But we don't know, perhaps both hospital stays were long planned and both you and DM failed to make arrangements for childcare? Perhaps your adult siblings urged you many times to arrange something and you didn't, as you counted on them to change their plans for you? Perhaps DF has plenty of alternative people offering help but refused them, as he (or you) wouldn't have DC looked after by anyone but family? Perhaps your adult siblings have been trying very hard, for years, to break free from an oppresive family background, and have zero desire to be pulled back in just because you blackmail them by not arranging childcare?

There is no reason to believe any of this. It is just that we only know a very brief, one-sided version of the story. Going by this version, YANBU at all.

Maybe I'm an idiot but before I had my DC & even after, I've helped out wherever I could without being asked ever.

I've had Dsis stay here rent free until she sorted herself out.

DB I've lent money, taken his kids out to give his DW a break.

I will do just about anything for anyone without being asked. I don't particularly like asking for favours simply because I worry il be classed as a CF for it (weirdly, even though I wouldn't think that if someone asked me).

DB won't even answer his phone to anyone.

Dsis is well aware I've been struggling and has simply ignored my messages saying so.

Oh and both hospital stays for myself and DM were emergencies (at the time potentially life threatening).