To be so bloody angry??!

[PissyPantsNameChange]

Admitted to hospital Thursday, DM had my DS.

Friday, DM was admitted to hospital (unrelated). DF had my DS and DB's.

Saturday, I discharged (wasn't leaving until tomorrow) because DF wouldn't have been able to go and see DM if he had all 4 DC's on his own.

Dsis decided to stay in Plymouth and DB (both Dsis and DB are adults) didn't even bother answering his phone.

I'm a SP on my own with 0 help now my DM is in hospital. I've left early and now seriously regretting it, admittedly a lot of my anger is directed at my selfish siblings!!

AIBU??

I guess it's me, I guess I should have out right asked and waited for the "no sorry I'm busy".

Just told my Dsis how I feel and she's told me it's not her fault my ex doesn't want anything to do with my DS. No it isn't her fault but it isn't my DS's fault either.

Does your brother know his mums in hospital after a heart attack?

This is what scares me the most, without my DM, I have no one to help. Absolutely no one and all I'm ever told is "it's not my fault your ex doesn't want to know".

How do I even start building a network??

Networks do get easier as kids get older and go to school/nursery but that takes time obviously.

OP in the nicest possible way I think its the fact that you feel you dont have a network.

Your brother has 4 kids with his wife (and one would hope a job) so it is difficult for him to drop everything. The fact he wont answer his phone indicates as well some family issues

Your sister is an arse. Yes, your arrangements with DS are not her issue, but they're her DBs too and if she had an ounce of decency she'd be arranging to help with them so you could recover even if that leaves you with your DS.

Your sister is a bitch!
Absolutely go NC with her.
What a fucking nasty horrible thing to say!

Being a mum can be quite isolating so you need to go to mum groups, baby clubs, play groups etc. It can feel awkward to begin with but you soon get used to talking to others who are in the same boat as you and there to make friends. I also went to "Baby Sing and Sign" etc so it wasn't just focused on chatting to others and that can help break the ice. Not sure if you have any friends, but I'd also look at having some "me" time if you haven't and get a babysitter every now and then so you can go out and meet people. What about old friends from school/college/Uni days?

i’m sorry you’ve been ill, i’d be more disappointed that your dm was rushed to hospital in an emergency situation and neither of your adult siblings seem to give two hoots! that is more disgusting!

OP you've been through a difficult few days and hearing of your dm's emergency admission must have been frightening. But I do think you have acted hastily and emotionally.
I think perhaps you could have thought things through a bit before discharging yourself. You don't say that your DF wasn't coping - just that you thought he would struggle ...
At the very least you were in the same hospital so presumably you could have gone to visit your DM and reported back to DF?
And I would have expected that your 2 younger brothers would have had friends who could take them for a couple of hours?
TBH if db has 4 children he might be pushed to help. I'm still not clear what your dsis's circumstances are or how far away she was from you and DF.
I hope you and your DM make a speedy recovery.

sorry I need an acronym list

dm mother
df father
dsis obvious

db brother
whats CF

sorry if this isnt helping

am very confused

edna CF is cheeky fucker

Cheeky fucker

I've just cut my Dsis out of my life, I know it seems rash but she's not a nice person anyway (whole other thread).

DB won't answer his phone, DM has been trying to get hold of him but he won't answer or make contact because he owes her money and doesn't want to have to make excuses.

I agree, I'm desperate to build a network, I've absolutely no one I could ever call in an emergency. If my DM was in hospital before me, SS would have had to be called

Mentally I'm not doing so great, in the space of 3 days, I've been admitted to hospital, DM admitted & also dealt with an unrelated issue, as well as my relationship breaking down.

Looking back, I did make a hasty decision to leave hospital, because no one else jumped to say they'd help (they never do, because they know I will eventually), I thought I'd look like the bitch if I stayed quiet in hospital.

I guess this has given me the shove up the bum I've needed to make a life away from family for my DS, I cherish my DM & DF, I can't fault them. I just wish my adult siblings weren't so selfish and cruel.

Sadly my Dsis will only realise just how hard it is when she finally has kids of her own (she's one of these who thinks SAHM's sits on their ass all day doing nothing ).

OP you need to not reply on your brother or sister in future to avoid disappointment.

What were you in hospital for? Does she not care why you were on hospital?

Sorry crossposted. And I meant to say ‘rely’ not reply!

Suggest you burn bridges with your adult siblings and focus on building a better support network closer to home. Get involved in PTAs or parent / toddler classes if kids aren’t old enough, make friends, arrange playdates, find a childminder.

oh hun sounds like you've been through the ringer in such a space of time your head is just simply go "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat" and your spinning.
try to bring everything back.take some really calming moment to get your emotions in check.get your head feeling calmer.go get a nice drink or watch a nice move with your little one and try to get some happier thoughts back in there.take some time to rest and heal now properly.
you just sound overwhelmed and who would be with what your going through.and feeling alone with it all must be so horrid.
your not alone though,you just haven't met your "people" yet.and that can happen.its never too late to make friends.
if your siblings will behave as they have its not your fault.its not right but sometimes this happens.so you got to go out and find those worthy of your friendship and love.sometimes family let you down and it hurts more because we always wish they will be the people you can rely on most.
im so glad you have such a loving relationship with your parents though.
try not to do the what ifs of you losing them.they are here now.cherish every moment of that.
how old is your dc.are there any groups.or anything you want to do that could get you meeting people.
even just making small conversation when you go for a coffee can help you feel less alone.keep having random conversations.interact out and about to keep you feeling connected to the outside.
maybe even go do something fun with your mum and dad that could help you meet people together.if your all well enough.
im sorry your ill and haven't been having a great time.
but don't feel alone.or lost.there is always something to be done.

just to clarify, you are responsible for 1 child only, is that right?

Who's are the other 3, and who is looking after them?

I can't really follow your post, but if you are just looking after your own child, then no, YABU to expect anyone to help you.

if you are looking after 3 others as well, and can't get hold of their father, YANBU.

So your sis is in Plymouth? Where are you?

You poor thing. Yes, you really were rather hasty discharging yourself. Putting yourself in potential danger for a very short term situation is never a good idea and I get you probably weren’t thinking straight. I understand it must be incredibly scary not having a support network.

When is your df coming back? He needs to take all the children. Is that possible?

How are you feeling now? I’m in hospital myself right now. Discharge tomorrow. Heaven knows what I would have done in your situation, I wouldn’t have been able to discharge myself yesterday for a million pounds.

As others have said, you’ll get a network in time. My dd is 9 and I’ve had so many offers of help from friends and parents at school.

Is there no other way to contact your older DB? Through his wife? Even if he can’t help with kids he should visit his mum.
Would your DSis not help your DF if he asked?

is your dm no contact with sis aswell?

im wondering why noone is worried about their mother being in hospital

and no offence to your df i know hes worried but if yhou have kids theres not alot u can do cant just dump them to go visit in hospital-im suprised he let you discharge yourself over it

Your brother is out of order for ignoring you. He could at least offer encouragement and a listening ear. Instead, he uses your parents- hopefully, this will be their wake up call.

Your sister is a scab. It's good you are going nc.