To think she should have checked in?

[Ikanails]

I’ve been compelled to write my first post by the absolute CF’ry of this mum.

Background- DD (7) has best friend in school, have met mum at parties, school gate etc and had her DD for tea after school. I have DD and am 6 months pregnant, OH works nights.

Haven’t seen DD’s friends mum for a while but got a text from her earlier this week asking if I would have her D for the night on Friday as she was attending work do. Initially I was a bit because we haven’t spoken to eachother for a while but thought it would be nice for DD so I agreed.

Didn’t hear from the mum again until later in the week I was shopping and asked if there was anything her D wouldn’t eat. No problem, thought I’d get another text Friday to confirm arrangements, no such text arrived.

Pick up Friday - DD’s friend has overnight bag and is happy to be coming home with us so I take it the sleepover is still on! Got home, made something to eat, doesn’t like the food, fine, supply alternative (clearly there are foods she doesn’t like!). Crossed my mind that mum hadn’t checked in to see if everything ok but didn’t think much more of it.

Went about our evening, kids played, watched a movie, popcorn, up and down the stairs, generally having a good time. At bed time I thought mum will text soon to check in surely, no text.

I text her around before 9pm to say that everything was fine, hope she’s having a good night - no reply.

10pm, DD’s friend is upset, can’t sleep, scared, up and down, I’m knackered as it is and really just want to go to sleep but obviously don’t want to ruin mums night out so just get on with it.

This morning, I checked WhatsApp, the mum hasn’t even been online since 7pm last night, never mind read my text... she hasn’t checked in, hasn’t called to say what time she’s picking up, DD is supposed to be going out with OH at 12 so I can rest (I work full time through the week).

AIBU to think the mum is a complete CF?! Who doesn’t check in to see if their child is ok? Or send a text or call to say what time they’ll be picking up? I can’t help thinking what if there had been an emergency?! I’m giving her till 12 before I ring because don’t want to make a scene but I just can’t believe I haven’t heard from her since earlier this week!!

Sorry for the long post but who does that?!?!?!

Ring her! Don't mess about with texts.

What did she say when you called?!

Even if she's lost her phone, she could horror someone else's/landline/ phone box to ring to make sure DD is okay and say when you're picking her up!!

I really want to know the outcome!

Make it clear you will not be hosting her daughter again due to her failure to check in, answer your messages, and her obvious willingness to abdicate all responsibility for her daughter who was upset.

It baffles me that people can behave like this! That is their child! How can they not care that their child got picked up, is happy, had some food, isn’t missing them terribly.

So so cheeky of her!!! And rude!!

Unless something happened, that's such lax parenting, I feel so sorry for her DD.

I'd be sorely tempted to let her know the repercussions of her can't-be-arsed to parent behaviour

Say how worried you are so you’ll be calling police and social services if you haven’t heard from her in next 10 minutes. Well, maybe not but tempting....

She is a cf and I would just bring the child home, surely she can show your dh where she lives? (I am assuming he drives)

Unless something bad has happened eg her DH is in hospital (and even then she should call to let you know), then she's royally taking the piss.

Who just dumps there kid on people they don't really know?! Wow that mum is shocking

Clutching at straws, but maybe dc’s friend mum was in an area with poor reception, so couldn’t get a signal, or thought that no news was good news.

However, she should have agreed a pick-up time, and replied to your text this morning.

My first thought would have been something was wrong but if you’ve seen her online, that is a bit

Phone problems? No signal where she was last night?

The girl is old enough to show you how to get to her house from the school, so you can just take her home if the mum doesn't answer.

That is unbelievable. Makes me sad to think her dm clearly doesn't give a shit.

I know one situation where the mum's had decided they'd mind each others dd alternative Saturday nights so the other could go out. Except one of the dd was being bullied by the other and her dm was ignoring it. It took the bullied girls child minder to sort it out.

cheeky Cah

!

Did she answer OP?

I would not be surprised to find that this mum has form, given that you were texted out if the blue asking for the sleepover. She may have exhausted her usual group of support.

I am shocked that she didn't text Friday daytime to confirm, and again to Check pick had gone ok ect

I'm kind of torn if she was out and there was nothing she could do and maybe she was busy there may have been no point texting. OTOH I would certainly have texted if only to let the mum know that I was grateful and for my own peace of mind. I would definitely have texted before DD even went with you to sort out arrangements for collecting her. Kids that age are a hassle at sleep overs. It's not like a 12 year old who will just disappear off to the bedroom. She does sound pretty cheeky and ungrateful to be honest.

That is proper form for CF'ery. Don't have her DD again OP! You aren't a babysitter and she is obviously using you for that exact thing otherwise she would keep in touch with you regularly. Hope you got hold of her OP!

No reception or other nonsense people are trying to justify this with.
There is no justification. Any normal parent would have text at school pick up to make sure everything was ok. She wouldn’t have been out then.

No point trying to find excuses. Well apart from to justify this when you do it. The child’s parents are negligent cheeky fuckers.

Depending on the outcome of this I'd be tempted to mention it to the school in case there is a pattern of neglectful behaviour by the mum - if there is school would be in a position to build a picture and take appropriate action