To find this sad?

[AnyLondoner]

DD is 4 and DS is 5, 6 in September. DD is such a sweet and caring girl, so considerate. Anything she gets, she always makes sure she shares it with DS, and if she can’t share, she will ask why DS is not having any. The other day we were in Poundland, and she wanted this pink toy, she also immediately reached out for the blue version for DS. Anything you give her, she wants to share it with DS, if she gets home and DS is not home, she always asks for him.

DS on the other hand will NEVER share anything with DD unless he’s told to, never asks for DD if he gets home before her. He will literally walk into the living room, sit down and eat his snack and won’t even notice she’s not there.

I’m gonna start redecorate the house soon, and I asked them if they wanted to share a bedroom. DS immediately says NO with angry face, and DD said yes.

I know that deep down he does love his sister and he’s just a child, but it just sad to see and hear how much DD cares for him and always thinking of him, and he doesn’t seem to care for her.

It's the difference in age.

Posted too soon but 4 yo and she's already choosing pink for her and blue for a boy?

Age difference, personality difference, he perhaps feels like she's sucking up to him, pandering to him when he doesn't want her to. Could be many reasons why. I agree that it can seem sad at the time. All you can do really is to teach him to be kind to others. He's young yet!

I thought that too whatshallido!

@Whatshallidonowpeople yes she's 5 in November. She likes pink?

As I was reading I thought that you were finding it sad that your dd went for pink for herself and blue for her brother; yes, that is a bit sad!

He’s an older child. As far as he’s concerned, he is already shared his most precious and important thing with her against his will and without anybody asking him if that was okay. And that’s you.

It sucks, but it’s common in the eldest.

Ahh here we go, didn't take long for the "pink and blue" police to turn up!
OP your thread will quickly descend into this perennial debate whether you like it or not.

Totally agree with LeahJack.

Do you spend much quality one-to-one time with your DS?

To her, he’s the older brother she looks up to

To him, she’s the annoying little sister.

You can’t force him to feel the same way she does. You can insist on not being mean, and encourage sharing, but he’s not being mean to her, he just doesn’t focus on her the way she does on him.

t

Ignore the random t!

For crying out loud people. A lot of toys, particularly Poundland ones come in pink and blue and no other colours.

She picked one up for herself and she picked one of a different colour for her brother. She chose the pink one, so by default the one that will be different is blue.

It is not a reflection of her upbringing or some tragic signal of a misogynist society.

If you have an issue it’s with Poundland. Who probably have to make a decision on which two colours to go with on a toy, so went with pink and blue for commercial reasons, but yeah, they should go for Green and Yellow and sell less just to keep the pink and blue loons happy.

whether the boy/girl different police will agree or not! When kiddies go to school even the closest sibling relationships often separate...your son is at the age where he will start wanting to be seen as a big boy & if you praise little sister for being lovely to him enough perhaps he may resent her -children also tend to play more with their own sex in school - watch the playground its quite interesting...

It's perfectly normal for the younger one to adore the older one and not have it reciprocated when they're kids

your dd went for pink for herself and blue for her brother; yes, that is a bit sad!

Seriously? Are one of those parents who forces their ds's to play with dolls and princesses but doesnt let their dd's in the name of feminism?
I have 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys. 1 girl and 1 boy like pink and everything sterotypical for girls and 1 girl and 1 boy like everythign sterotypical for boys to like.
Obviously not all girls like pink and all boys like blue but some do! Its not sad if a girl likes pink, my dd who loves pink is just as happy as my dd who hates it and I havent parented one of them badly I have just let them like whatever they want to like.

Perhaps he is picking up on the fact that you clearly prefer his sister.

Ahh here we go, didn't take long for the "pink and blue" police to turn up!

^ This.

Sorry OP, some PPs are clearly on Mumsnet to waft their 'feminism' around and get worked up about non-issues.

It's a tricky one. Could just be different personalities perhaps? Is he seeing friends respond to their siblings in a similar kind of way? I'd be having a little chat about it. See if you can give some examples of DDs kindness and ask him why he finds it difficult to do the same. There may be more to it.

I'd imagine he knows exactly who his Mum's favourite is and resents her.

It's probably just different personalities. Some people find it easier to share than others. He is only 6, why shouldn't he be allowed to enjoy a snack in peace?

Ive had four of the little dears. Two loved to share and two wouldn't share if their lives depended on it. Perfectly normal.

I agree with pp who says DS prob finds DD annoying and that she looks up to him. We had the same in my family. I never wanted to share with my annoying brother! Sharing a room might be a bad idea unless it's only for a short time as in the longer term it could lead to conflict. Sounds like you like her better though, might want to make sure he doesn't pick up on that.

Sorry OP, some PPs are clearly on Mumsnet to waft their 'feminism' around and get worked up about non-issues. *

It's not a non issue though. When little girls think that pink is for them and blue is not their choices around everything become limited because of marketing and what is aimed at them. Wake up!

I'd imagine he knows exactly who his Mum's favourite is and resents her

That’s a bit of a fucking leap. Jesus christ

Bold fail there.

Some kids are good at sharing and like to, others don't. Your DD probably idolises her big brother too. He'll most likely grow out of it and learn to share.

Please don't stress about the pink/blue comments that have been made. It doesn't matter x